schiffshow

Run Forrest Run!

Posted on by boom booms room staff

If the four years of the Donald Trump presidency can be compared to four laps of a steeplechase race, Trump entered the first turn of the final lap this week.

He wants to run four more laps and has filed the necessary paperwork to do so.  He wants to win the next one. He always wants to win, win, win.  Don’t believe me, just ask him.  Or, don’t even ask, just listen.

So listening was just what America did yesterday.  Trump had a great burst into lap four and was free and clear of the field and its many detractors.  All previous investigations behind him, the biggest hurdles were two impeachment articles.  He jumped them both quite well.  The Democrats fell into the water.  Adam Schiff looks winded.  Nadler’s gassed.  The Iowa Primary went underwater and hasn’t surfaced.  Joe Biden said he took a gut punch.  The State of the Union address was lauded near and far as his best speech to date in office.

Out of the court and free and clear, Trump sprinted into Thursday morning and held his own court.  In the rearview mirror he could see them all getting smaller.  So what did he do?  In what should have been a well-earned victory lap, Trump decided to slow down and put all of his detractors right back into the thick of the chase.

He apparently cannot help himself.  In 49 or so minutes he reminded us that he won in 2016 when people thought that he couldn’t.  That’s so 2016 of him.

He bashed Comey.  Comey might have deserved bashing in 2017 and 2018.  What does Comey have to do with the Ukranian phone call, impeachment, and subsequent acquittal?  That’s so 2018 of him.

And, while thanking a female senator or rep (BBR could not identify her from the tv and Trump mumbled her name) for her help in defeating the uprising, Trump called her “nasty” and “mean” and said, “you did a great job.”  Take that as a compliment we guess.

Maybe, no probably, he only knows one way.  He prefers and excels at mixing it up.  He came from nowhere, he slugged it out with Hillary, and he has been fighting everyone for three-plus laps.

With no one in front of him he ran headlong into the next hurdle.  He brings the field back to him. He lowers the hurdles for the competition. Clearly he prefers tight quarters with elbows thrown over running unabated.

Just when the Democrats tied all of their shoelaces together Trump decided to go Forrest Gump.  Run Forrest Run!

Party On

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Did you get your invite?  Don’t fret if you haven’t.  Some parties are better than others.  And some parties when two parties are throwing the party can be real duds.

As Henny Youngman might say, “Take this Senate Trial, please!”

So who did get invited?  Cameras aren’t permitted to focus on those in attendance, but rather only on the current chosen one who is addressing those in attendance.  There must be a drone there somewhere capturing this though.  Wait, BBR is being told that the drone is actually Adam Schiff droning on and on in a monotone voice only his mother would love.

Each Senator may invite one guest to sit in the balcony to watch.  Rand Paul overheard President Trump saying that he might like to attend what the President called a “partisan charade.”  He tweeted, “I heard @realDonaldTrump would like to attend the impeachment trial. Mr. President, would love to have you as my guest during this partisan charade.”  Apparently Paul will be voting against the two articles.

Hunter Biden might get an invite too.  Although he might not attend due to other travel plans.  Seems like Biden is defying a court order to disclose his financial information as part of a child support fight in Arkansas while renting a $3.8 million designer home in Hollywood Hills, Los Angeles, with his new wife Melissa Cohen for $12,000 per month.  They married six days after they met.

Lawyers for 28-year-old Lunden Alexis Roberts who was a stripper at a Washington, DC, club Biden once frequented — said he failed to submit a slew of discovery materials.  DNA tests proved Biden fathered a child with Roberts.  A court order has been issued in Arkansas for his appearance.   “No comment” has been the word from his first wife Kathleen Biden, with whom he currently is expecting his fifth child.

Hunter desperately needs a few more board of director gigs like the one that might compel him in the Senate to testify to keep up with the child support.

No one from Russia is in attendance as far as anyone can tell.  Adam Schiff mentioned the country literally 30 times in his sermon yesterday.  Somewhat like Field of Dreams though, maybe if you say it enough they will come.

Former National Security Advisor John Bolton might yet get an invite as well.

If Trump doesn’t use the Rand Paul ticket maybe Bolton can invite his own mustache as his guest.  Surely it can fill a seat all to its own.

One hundred Senators were invited and all are in attendance for the six day a week marathon.  No electronic devices are allowed in the proceedings.  One hundred Senators regret that they could not send their regrets back after the formal invite.

What about you?  You’re invited to watch at least.  The number of TV’s, desktops, laptops, Surfaces, IPads, and mobile devices turning to other interests by the hour must be staggering.  Not to worry though.  All of the news channels and talk shows are watching and listening for you.  If you think Trump is guilty turn to CNN or MSNBC and you’ll be proven right.  Speaking of the right, if you think he is innocent, turn to Fox News and you’ll be proven right about his innocence.

What if you threw a party and no one came?

 

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Lefty and Shorty-Trials, Tribulations, and Turtles

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Way way back in 1966, or 1967 Lefty and Shorty were the amiable service station attendants.  Well, that’s what they were called back then as every pump was full serve.   Boom Boom interacted with them as they checked the oil, washed the windshield, pumped the gas, and took the money.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

They were funny. They always had a back and forth to their banter.  If they were alive last night might have gone like this.

Lefty- It’s nearly midnight and it’s cold. Nobody’s buying gas at this hour.  Why are we sitting here?  Shorty- So we can flip back and forth between the impeachment trial and the Kansas St. versus Kansas basketball game.   Lefty- The Senate Trial is still going on at this late hour?  Shorty- Speaking of this late hour I’ve got this last car that pulled in.  They are good tippers. Lefty- Fine.

Five minutes later.

Lefty- You missed it!  Shorty- What?  Lefty-  They tried to hit the man with the chair.  Shorty- They tried to hit Chairman “Pencil Neck” Adam Schiff?  Lefty-  No. No. It was in the game.  Shorty- Oh.  Why did he do that?  Lefty- I guess he was tired of watching his opponent try to drain threes.  Shorty- I thought maybe they were tired of watching Schiff and Nadler obstruct Trump trying to drain the swamp.  Lefty- Jeez.

Shorty- What’s Trump on trial for again?  Lefty- It’s for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.  Shorty-  Obstructing this Congress seems like a good idea.  Lefty- What?  Shorty- Doesn’t Mitch McConnell look like a bug eyed swamp fly that we clean off of windshields all day long?  Lefty- Please.  The irreverence.  Shorty- And Nadler, he looks like a snapping turtle.  I wouldn’t get between him and a late lunch.

Silence filled the air again.  Lefty, after some deep breathing and reflection, and against his better judgment, gave it one more go.

Lefty- What do you think the final outcome will be?  Shorty- It was 81-60 Kansas, remember.  Lefty- NO!  The outcome of the trial.  Shorty- I’m not sure.  The right is screaming “four more years” and they control the Senate.  Lefty- And?  Shorty- And the left is screaming “lock him up” but don’t have the votes.  It seems bogged down like a swamp.  And, America is running out of patience.    Lefty-  I know the feeling.  Maybe the chair will be useful after all.  Shorty- Schiff?  Lefty-  I’ll lock up.

A Different Disappointment From Coast to Coast

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Yesterday we began our NCAA football series examining disappointments from coast to coast.  Overnight our Washington Bureau won over our editor.  Because of that, today we put our series on hold to bring you a different disappointment from coast to coast.  It’s time to check in on the US House Intelligence (misnomer) Committee Impeachment Inquiry hearings that’s put our nation on hold.

We know.  We know.  It’s hard to digest.  That’s why we’ll feed our observations to you in our Ten Piece Nuggets format.  It’s easier to swallow this way.

  1. If you haven’t watched any or much of this charade, good for you.  In a word it’s been incredibly “boring.”
  2. How boring is it?  We are glad you asked.  It’s so boring that CBS yesterday made the programming decision to cut from the live broadcast of witness testimony to bring you their regularly scheduled soap opera programming.  It’s all about ratings in TV land you know.  CBS must have figured that you have had enough of the soap opera on Capital Hill.
  3. CBS might also have been short staffed to execute the programming any way.  When last we checked in on the network they were doing a fast and furious job of finding the “no Epstein video leaker” and firing her even though she wasn’t the most wanted “no Epstein video leaker.”  They fired the wrong person as you likely heard.
  4. Probably approaching 50% of America despises Chairman Adam Schiff.  The Republicans are doing their own fast and furious search for the Washington whistle blower. But, we give Schiff a lot of credit.  Staring in his own soap called #SchiffShow, ole Adam has stared straight into the cameras and proclaimed that he has no idea who that person is.  Funny thing is yesterday when Devin Nunez, playing bad cop, wandered into questioning that got a little to close to one particular Intelligence Department ole Adam stopped the questioning for fear of the whistle blower’s identity being revealed.
  5. The witness before the committee at that moment was one Lieutenant Colonel Vindman, who played, at least in his mind, a key role in all matters Ukrainian.  Vindman quickly corrected Nunez when addressed as Mr. Vindman.  When asked later why the sensitivity to wanting to be addressed as Lt. Colonel not Mr. Vindman stated that while dressed in a freshly pressed, full military uniform that it was proper.  Vindman said he didn’t know who the whistle blower was either.  However, he essentially took the fifth around this line of questioning. Therefore, this linked Vindman as the source to the whistle blowers second hand reproted concerns.  The casting department was concerned with this sensitivity on stage, but wardrobe was “oh so proud.”
  6. Does every single congressman or congresswoman have to thank every single government worker for their service every single time they begin their five minutes of time allotted to them?  Of course they do, it’s a show you know.  And this show yesterday stretched all of the way into east coast prime time.  Get ready for more as seven witnesses have come before the committee and there are expected to be seven to ten more before the final curtain is closed.  Thank you for your service.
  7. The pursuit of Donald J. Trump began with Russian collusion three years ago.  Until this week it centered on quid pro quo in his dealings with Ukraine and specifically in the now infamous “perfect phone call” and transcripts of the same.  But the Democrats stopped with the “quid pro quo” and renamed the episode “bribery” just this week.  It’s smart on their part as the word bribery is more easily understood by the masses that watch too many soaps to begin with.  The thinking goes like this “Russian Collusion” sounds like “abortion,” while “quid pro quo” sounds like “a woman’s right to choose” while “bribery” sounds like “woman’s wellness.”  Feel better?  Maybe not, but it’s something that focus groups said is an easier sell.
  8.  So did Trump cross the line on the line when he asked for a corrupt company and one of it’s board members (some dude named Hunter Biden) to be investigated by the new regime in Ukraine?  Add to that the withholding of foreign aid, though no one has testified that the two were “give to get,” at least not yet.  Ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, might do just that this AM.  Will anyone be watching?  America has to go to work this morning.  Congress should take note.
  9. We ask again, will anyone be watching?  And if they do, will anyone watching not have already made up their mind on whether they think Trump is guilty?  Or, asked differently, will anyone who is watching hasn’t made up their minds on his fate?  Will any member of the House vote differently for or against impeachment than when they voted for or against initiating the impeachment inquiry?  Maybe a few of the Democrats who won a seat in congress from a Trump carried district will.  It’s cover for the next time they run.  Otherwise, it’s a rerun shown from a slightly different camera angle.  Isn’t it?
  10.  It’s hard for America to find a new star when all they see are reruns.  America elected the star of the hit show “The Apprentice” to be it’s President three years ago.  At the end of each show, the now President fired someone.  The House would like the Senate to fire the now President. They want a new star for the 2020 season. The plot is easy to follow.  It’s just the acting that is so bad.

But on with the show we must go.  And, tomorrow on with the NCAA football disappointments we go.  We must have picked the University of Washington for a reason.  Because from Washington the state to Washington the District of Columbia this has been a disappointment from coast to coast.