A Free Chicken

Ok, it’s time for Congressional Jeopardy.  Welcome, everyone!  What a great group of contestants we have today.  Let’s get started.

Madame Speaker, please select.

“I’ll take Marketing 101 for $100.”

This game-changing business owner famously declared “focus groups are worthless, we know what our consumers want more than they do.”

Senator Manchin buzzes in. “Who is Steve Jobs?”

“Correct, and boy was he, please select.”

“Marketing 101 for $200”

“This American President famously believes he knows more about what Americans want than they do.”

Rep Jayapal buzzes in.  “Who is President Joe Biden?”

“Correct. Unfortunate.  But, correct.  Please select.”

“How about Campaign Slogans for $100.”

“The date that “Build Back Better” got reduced to “Better Not Build Back.”

Senator Manchin.

“What was Tuesday?”

Correct again, please select.

“Let’s take Now What? for $100.”

And the clue is, ha, well, “Now What?”

Jayapal.  “Spend more?”

“In the form of a question, please.”

“What is spend more and offer a free chicken in every pot?”

No sorry.

Madame Speaker buzzes.  “What is blame Trump?”

No sorry.  “Impeach Trump?”  No, still sorry.

Senator Manchin, do you want to take a shot?

“What is you better pay attention to what Virginia just told you.”

Correct.  Select again.  We have but a minute remaining in Double Jeopardy.

Let’s take “All things Minnesota” for $1000.

The clue is, “enough of this nonsense already.”

Senator Manchin. “What is the police defund just got a refund.”

“Correct.”  Bahhhhh.  “Time is up.  We see Manchin in the lead with $12,000, Madam Speaker with $2,000, and unfortunately Rep Jayapal with -$200 which makes you unable to play Final Jeopardy.

Jayapal asks, “why not?”  Alex Trebek’s fill-in responds, “you actually have to have your own money to risk money.  And the category today is Famous Bills.  We’ll be back after this commercial word.”

The video cuts to the commercial  “Hello, I’m President Biden.  As you know I have a job that requires long hours.  If you’re like me and sometimes fall asleep in meetings, or interviews, or summits, try NoDoz. It gets the job done when I’d rather sleep on it.”

“Welcome back to Final Jeopardy, the category again is famous Bills, and the clue is, “This Bill now carries a price tag of somewhere between $1.7 and $3.5 trillion dollars?”  “Good luck.”

Do do do, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah doo, doo doo doo, dum, dum, dum.   Pens down, please.

“We go now to Madame Pelosi. Let’s see what she wrote.  ‘What’s the cost of paying off all of Bill Clinton’s dalliances?’  No sorry.  How much did you wager?”

“I wagered $1,000,000.”  Well, you only had $2,000, so I’m not sure how you can do that.”

“I’m the Speaker, I can do anything I want.”

“And to Senator Manchin.   He wrote, ‘The Reconciliation Bill, vote for it and America will vote you out in 2022.'”

“CORRECT.”  Let’s see how much you wagered?  “Your entire political career!”

And Senator Manchin you are our Congressional Jeopardy Champion!

Congratulations!”

doo, doo, doo, dah, dah, dah…

 

 

 

Buy Today, Deliver Tonight

Those “come on” deals always sound so tempting.  You know the ones.

Buy this entire room of furniture today, have it delivered tonight with nothing down, no interest, and nothing to pay until…….

Until.  That’s the rub.  The bills always come due.  And, if you sell your soul to the devil(or Tony Soprano types) they never end.

Do take our word for it, ask POTUS.

He promised it all, or at least his team did, to the left of the left inside of the Democratic Party to get elected.  They wanted that room full of furniture.

So, they took to the streets, lit fires, threw rocks, looted, had mostly peaceful protests, told you that Black Lives Matter, wanted to defund the police for social justice, complained about the rich getting richer, needed tuition debt forgiven, wanted free preschool, and need to end this pesky climate change(hurricanes included) all to get Biden in office.  And it worked in record voting numbers we are told.

All of this unrest when unemployment was at record lows, the stock market was at record highs, interest rates were at record lows, companies building new in America were at record highs, illegal border crossings were at record lows.  We could go on.

But, the Trump world was a terrible one and we need to Build Back Better they said.  And, now the bills are due.

So, with one enormous spending bill followed by another, he’s attempting to pay off the debts of gratitude.  Like hurricanes, each bill had(Covid relief) or has(Infrastructure, Reconciliation) a name to remember it by.

But, a funny thing happened these last several weeks.  Controlling the House, the Senate, and the White House the party in power can’t agree on how much, how fast, when, where, and why.

The further left you are, the more you “need” for all of the minions that elect and reelect and reelect you.

The furniture hasn’t even been delivered yet.  Yet, Bernie Sanders wants to remodel and nearly double the size of the room (5 tril he says).  AOC scoffed at 3.5 tril on the Reconciliation Bill sarcastically asking if this was rent to own by month money.  Nancy Pelosi wants until the end of October to appoint the joint.  She’s trying to get the kids to agree on adding the love seat and dropping out the recliner.

And two Senators (Manchin and Sinema)aren’t sure if we need all of this new free stuff.

One of them, Sinema, made the mistake of getting up from the sofa and heading to the bathroom where she was accosted by malcontents likely hired to act like imbeciles.

Biden said yesterday that all of this stalling was the Republican’s fault. He really did.  He also said that he needed them to get out of the way as our nation’s economy was at stake over this.  He actually may be so wrong about the economy that he is right.

With gas prices at seven-year highs, supply chain issues across numerous industries, food prices skyrocketing, labor shortages everywhere, and the Fed carefully considering when(not if) to raise interest rates perhaps the last thing we need to do is print more money to create more demand and higher costs of living.

At least soon enough we’ll be able to forget about these squabbles over money we don’t have and buy some Christmas presents for our loved ones with money that we don’t have.

On Monday Dr. Fauci said we could have Christmas celebrations this year.  That was a relief because on one of Sunday’s morning shows he said it was too soon to tell if we could gather with our loved ones.

He also said that his comments were taken out of context. His problem is a lot like Urban Meyer’s problem.  Roll the videos.  But, we digress.

For now, the conservatives can tell the woke that we are going broke and the woke can tell the conservatives that our country is broken.

Buy today and we’ll deliver tonight!