Everybody Ready? Here We Go!

America, have you heard?  We got a brand new dance and it’s called the herd(back in the day it was called the bird.)

The herd is a bit different.  It’s easy to learn.  It’s one step forward and two steps back.  Then it’s two steps forward and one step back.  And, it’s all done at a socially responsible six feet from your dance partner.  You never heard of it?  No one had until about March 1st.  Then it became all of the (out) rage in our country.

Quickly it became such a hit to us that the DJ started spinning the vinyl daily at about 6 pm EST.  That DJ is grandmaster Donald J.  While America danced the mostly liberal media sat in press conference chairs, looking like wallflowers, and asked why we shut down travel to China.  Xenophobes all. Then they asked why didn’t we shut down the country sooner.  Then they asked where the ventilators were.  How about masks for the party too?  One forward, two back.  That’s it.

And soon the music all but stopped.  The herd was barely heard from.  Shelter in place.  We need to get to herd immunity or we’ll thin the herd more than we’d like. Back, back, back.  That’s it.

A few weeks back America wanted to dance again.  Trump said one forward too soon.   Fauci said one back for now.

Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer (D) took the party favors and hid them.  She said no dancing at all till she says dancing at all. She may have two left feet.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp(R) said let’s open.  Trump said the first step should be slower.

Harris County Texas (read as Houston) Judge Lina Hidalgo(D) said masks for all starting this week or we’ll charge you a steep cover charge for no face cover. Texas Governor Greg Abbott(R) said feel free to show your face any time and any place.  One forward and one back.  That’s it.

The herd is rapidly developing its own mentality from coast to coast.  We want to dance again and we want to do it now.

But we wonder.  Is the herd getting replaced by a line dance forced on us by the “experts” in the government?  You can almost hear  “to the left, to the left, to the left” for part of the song, then “to the right, to the right, to the right”  for another part.

Even DJ Trump wondered aloud yesterday if his headset, turntable, and vinyl are worth trudging out to the White House Lawn Party every day anymore.

The wallflower press is still there.  They hate to dance.  They want to report on all of the wrong turns and missteps made on this the largest stage of them all.

But, you may have heard of the “herd mentality.”  It’s getting out of its chair and headed to the dance floor.  Ain’t no stopping us now.

Come on Chuck, ask Nancy to dance.

Whawk! Hallelujah! Whoa.
Whawk! Hallelujah! Whoa.

 

Holy Ice Cream, Batman!

You remember that noted health nut Jerry Nadler, don’t you?  On the national impeachment stage he played the role of Robin.  He was quite the actor, though the green tights seemed a bit binding at times.

Adam Schiff reprised the role of Adam West and starred as Batman.  Once Catwoman, aka Nancy Pelosi, shone the green light high into the DC night the caped crusader duo went about fighting all of the crimes that The Joker, well played by Donald Trump, committed.

The play played nonstop for what seemed like forever.  As the trio carried the impeachment articles down the hall of Congress, another villain snuck onto the world stage. His name is COVID-19.

After the two impeachment votes failed in the Senate it seemed like ole Jerry went into the deep freeze like The Penguin, or even like Joe Biden.  #WhereIsJoe and #WhereIsJerry?  Well, this week Jerry surfaced.   Rumors abound, that like a penguin, Jerry was enjoying the chill in Nancy Pelosi’s side by side twin Sub Zero freezers.  There is so much ice cream to hide under it’s like heaven to Jerry.  Is it a new character opportunity perhaps?

Nadler, now mostly thawed, tweeted yesterday.  “We need to come together to beat this disease, not attack each other and divide the country.  This is a disgrace.”  Oh, the irony.  It’s as thick as a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Fudge Brownie Chocolate.

Did Nadler’s actions around Impeachment help the country come together?  And, eight weeks into the fight Jerry decides to weigh(careful now) in now?  Did Nancy, with the old sweater tied just so around her shoulders, help too by showing off her stache of decadence?  Three weeks ago, Adam Schiff floated the idea that his Intelligence Committee would begin looking into who knew what and when about this “disease” as Jerry calls it.  That’s lending a helping hand right in the middle of it.

Fear not though, Nancy told the nation on Sunday that Congress would remain recessed until May 4th, unless there was a major crisis.  Hello?  Anyone home?  Oops, sorry, apparently everyone is home.

“Come together.”  It sounds so inclusive.  It sure beats “Together Apart.”

Will Jerry have another part on a national stage soon?  We can only hope that this crime-fighting team can “come together” one more time to provide us with the great entertainment we’ve come to expect.

After all, there is only so much Netflix left to watch, together of course.

 

On the Clock

The NFL Draft is tee minus 60 hours away and counting.   Yesterday the league and its 32 teams conducted a mock draft trial run.

The Cincinnati Bengals were, of course, the first team on the clock.  And, right away a glitch halted the process.   Come Thursday if only Joe Burrow could be so lucky.

The contrast between the NFL takeover of Broadway in Nashville last year for its street party draft and this year’s virtual, shelter in place, remote draft is stark.

The Presidential Election is tee minus 6 months away and counting.   Yesterday President Donald Trump held his daily news briefing.

The national media, of course, was on the clock.  And, right away Trump did what Trump does.  If only Joe Biden can continue to be so lucky.

The contrast between Trump and how he works the media and Biden, and how he doesn’t, is stark.  Trump’s already been on Twitter this AM to berate the Morning Joe Show on MSNBC after tweeting about various topics well into the evening after his media briefing.  He’ll be at it by 5 pm CST today again, holding court that is and berating the assembled again, that is.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden only appears on Twitter when someone grabs the video from his latest, infrequent tv interview or from his seldom in-home broadcast.  The #WhereIsJoe is seen way more than Joe himself.  His performances to date have more “gaffes” than memorable moments.

Biden has cover for now.  He’s sheltering in place like all obedient senior citizens have been asked to do.  But, it looks like a new day in the nation’s approach to the invisible enemy is dawning.  Soon, “where is Joe?” will need to be “Joe has campaign speeches in Michigan and Indiana today.”  Then his physical health and mental health will be challenged as often by Trump as he challenges the media he so likes to manipulate.  He calls them “Fake News” in case you haven’t heard.

Conversely, can Joe keep the media at his side?  Hunter is still a board member in China.  Joe has a serious allegation of sexual misconduct.  Joe has a habit of losing his place even with notes right in front of him.  Saying less and appearing less will soon mean more than it does as our attention is elsewhere.

Soon Joe, like the Bengals, will be on the clock.  He has a pick, too.  It will be a VP running mate.  It will mean more than it often does as well.

America is starved for normalcy.  It will watch the draft in record numbers.  It will watch Cincinnati’s Bengals.  Will it watch the campaigns in record numbers too?  If so, what will it think of Biden’s bungles?

Right from Wrong

It started innocently enough last evening.  Not too long after the New Hampshire Democratic Primary polls closed Andrew Yang closed shop on his campaign.  He meant well.  But his $1000/month giveaway to every adult idea never gained traction.  He thought it was the right thing to do, but voters never lined up for the “free” handout.

Former Mayor Mike Bloomberg, not in this primary (are the rules convoluted much?), had audio tapes leak yesterday.  On them, defending his stop and frisk initiative he stated “95% of your murders, murderers and murder victims fit one M.O. You can just take the description, Xerox it, pass it out to all the cops, They are male, minorities, 16-25. That’s true in New York, that’s true in virtually every city.”

Avowed Democrat and African American Juan Williams, Fox News contributor, was asked how he felt about the words heard on the tape.  Juan said “on one hand the statistics prove that Bloomberg is right.  But, it would be wrong for my son to have to fear getting stopped by the police each and every time he left the house.”

Bernie Sanders took a victory lap with just over 25% of the New Hampshire vote last evening.  It’s his right to run for President even though he makes no bones about his Socialism platform.  The United States is fast approaching its 250th birthday.  It seems to be doing quite well as a capitalistic society.  It’s poor are far richer than the global average.  That’s not to say that we can’t do better.  He finished his victory speech with “this victory is the beginning of the end for Donald Trump.”  Bernie may be right.  Trump’s presidency and his reelection message are diametrically opposed to Sanders.  Someone (James Carville, Democratic strategist extraordinaire) once said, “it’s the economy stupid!”  There is a lot to like in today’s US economy.  Bernie may be wrong.

The purported front runner just weeks ago, Joe Biden skipped his “victory” party last night in NH and flew straight to South Carolina, the next primary battleground. He made the right move given his single-digit performance and subsequent fifth-place NH finish.  He called the Iowa finish (though it’s not finished) a “gut punch.”  The New Hampshire support lacked support as it was a punch below the belt.  Greeted by South Carolina supporters he attempted to rally the troops.  He told them “It’s important that Iowa and Nevada have spoken.”  Wrong.  Nevada, New Hampshire.  Pre Med.  Pre Law.  Tomato.  Tomatoe.  It’s all the same.  Right?

The DNC tried to put a new saddle on an old horse in Biden.  The RNC tried to do the same four years ago in Jeb Bush.  Wrong and wrong.  Biden’s campaign should be taken behind the barn and put out of its mystery.  It’s the right thing to do.  Biden should be on a beach with crew socks on his sandal feet and zinc oxide on his nose, with his Aviator glasses in place.

“Hello America! I’m Amy Klobuchar and I will beat Donald Trump,” she told a cheering crowd. “My heart is full tonight. We have beaten the odds every step of the way.”  She’s right.  No one thought the Minnesota Senator would still be standing at this point in the long road to the nomination.  She finished a “strong third.”

Since when is a third-place finish a victory?  When a party is searching desperately for a warm body to be the nominee, she isn’t wrong.

Everyone is famous for 15 minutes.  Klobuchar has no organization on the ground in any Super Tuesday primary state.  No candidate has ever gained the nomination without a first or second-place finish in the first two primaries.  Never say never, however.

Speaking of a first or second-place finish, Mayor Pete Buttigieg has one of each.  It’s Pete’s right to accept big donor money from Wall St.  Sanders says it’s wrong.

Based on the above history says it’s right to assume Sanders or Buttigieg will wind up being the nominee.  In today’s political madness basing anything on history might be the wrong thing to do.

And, waiting in the wings is Donald Trump.  Whether you think that he is right or wrong, all he wants to do is “Keep America Great!”

Queue the Billy Joel.