kamala

2022

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Thankfully 2021 was one and done.  On to 2022 and hopefully out with the old and in with the new.

In our last column of the year we take a peek at what’s in store for us next year in the business, political, and sports worlds month by month.

January- Michigan wins its first FBS National Championship in OT over Alabama 35-31.  Joe Biden undergoes minor surgery and mistakenly names his new dog Commander as commander in chief over Kamala Harris prior to sedation.  Omicron new cases peak, then start a slow decline as the CDC announces a better test for the variant will be available March 1.  Ghislaine Maxwell finds out the hard way that orange is indeed the new black.

February- Green Bay and Kansas City meet in Super Bowl LVI just as they did in SB I over 55 years ago.  Fittingly GB hoists the Lombardi Trophy winning 30-24.  Inflation reaches 10.0% annualized.  Joe Kernan is suspended after striking Andrew Ross Sorkin on-air for mentioning gas prices slid another 2 cents last week.

March- Commander bites the hand that feeds him.  Joe is sutured by Dr. Jill Biden who says the wound is transitory.  March Madness delivers on its name in a big way.  In round one number one seeded Gonzaga is upset by Sam Houston St. 73-71!  Apple introduces its self-driving car, customers go bananas, but early feedback labels it a lemon.

April- The massive Thwaites Glacier in Antarctica falls apart raising sea levels by 10 feet.  Key West is now Key Deep South.  Miami rebrands itself as Venice. Tiger Woods has a leg up in the final round of The Masters but loses by one penalty stroke to Patrick Cantlay after failing to sign his scorecard.  The Dow crosses 38,000.  Joe successfully fights off a six-week infection from the butchered sew job.  Barrack Obama chimes in to mockingly announce, “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.”

May- Venice is now swimming with tourists.  A refreshed Kamala Harris returns from her March vacation.  LeBron James announces his retirement from the NBA and accepts Biden’s offer to become US Ambassador to China.  CNN hires Andrew Cuomo and rehires Chris Cuomo to cohost a new primetime show tentatively called When No One Is Watching.

June- Hunter Biden slips in his art studio on some dropped oil paint and breaks his hip.  Russia invades Ukraine.  Biden threatens to reduce vodka imports. The Utah Jazz defeats the Chicago Bulls in a four-game NBA Finals sweep.  Kamala Harris calls the locker room, laughs nervously, and asks to congratulate Karl Malone.

July – Nancy Pelosi announces that she is retiring to her waterfront beach home in Atlanta (Thwaites Glacier effect) at year’s end after 259 years in Congress.  A new Covid-19 variant named Kalamata is discovered in Greece.  Biden threatens to ban olive imports unless they are fully pitted.  The MLB All-Star game is moved from Los Angeles after the City Council refuses to force the homeless encampment in left field to relocate.

August- Hurricane Condoleezza slams rural Louisiana destroying rice fields near and far.  Aaron Rodgers suits up for a preseason game with his new team, the Washington Football Team.  The Football Team announces a nickname change to the Washington Senators after a fan vote won in a tiebreaker 51-50.  BTS sales plummet as Kalamata spreads like tapenade.   The Dow retreats to 35,000.

September – Twitter bans Dr. Doolittle for speaking out against sixth booster shots.  The Football team starts 0-3.  Rodgers asks the fans to relax.  Yellowstone ends a great run when Beth Dutton goes Die Hard Detective John McClane to the new airport built next door.  OJ Simpson guest stars as season nine rolls on Dexter.

October- New York announces that their mask mandate will remain in effect through October 2027.  Jussie Smollett signs on with Subway as their late-night delivery spokesperson.  The most-desired but least given Halloween treat is Ivermectin.  Mitch McConnell gets new glasses and says he sees a clear path to a Republican House majority in next month’s elections.

November-  The Democrats miraculously hold onto the House.  Biden says his first call will be to Tip O’Neil to congratulate the Speaker.  Texas completes its own border wall as Governor Greg Abbott simultaneously announces that he’ll run for President in 2024.  Alabama losses in back-to-back weeks against LSU and Auburn as Nick Saban goes through a six-pack box of headsets.

December- Dr. Anthony Fauci turns 82 but refuses to blow out the candles on his career.  Biden offers support calling Fauci a young 82.  Seventeen bowl games are canceled as entire teams opt out.  Ryan Day leaves THE OSU to coach the Venice Hurricanes as Mario Cristobal’s tenure was taking on water.  Social distancing guidelines are reduced to half afoot.  Austin Texas changes its name to Los Austin.  And, finally, BBR’s readership crosses 1000 daily thanks to a certain Hilton Head avid reader constantly singing its praises.

See you in 2022.

Enjoy the bubbly!

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Life

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Like Joe Biden, the BBR staff took the last several days off for vacation.  Biden went to Camp David, while BBR went through the deep and mid-south on a trip to nowhere.  Nuggets await you.

  1. Speaking of a trip to nowhere, American citizens yesterday were told in writing as a response to their formal request to be airlifted out of Afghanistan, and reinforced by a noncommital verbal answer from Press Secretary Jen Psaki, that their exit from the tumult could not be guaranteed by 8/31 nor guaranteed that it could be done safely.  The words shameful and pitiful come to mind.
  2. Has anyone seen the most unpopular VP in decades recently?  Anyone?  Maybe the official Border Fixer Czar is toiling down on the Rio Grande?  Buehler?
  3. The USNS Comfort and USNS Mercy are being prepared for deployment “as needed to assist potentially overwhelmed communities with acute patient care,” Jonathan Rath Hoffman, assistant to the defense secretary for public affairs, said during a news conference today at the Pentagon.  Actually, that was on 3/18/2020.  Do we need them again?  Actually, we didn’t need them then.  So far no governors, including the ones from California and New York that asked 17 months ago, have inquired.
  4. Of course, those two might be too busy seeking their own comfort and asking for mercy for other reasons.  The NY governor resigned a week ago after claiming that his Italian heritage was partially to blame for his inability to keep his hands and thoughts to himself.   The Cali gov is taking on water in a recall election and may need his own lifeline.
  5. What is going to be needed to assist potentially overwhelmed communities with acute patient care is progress on vaccine compliance.  And, we aren’t speaking on the need for all to get jabbed a time or three.  We’re speaking of the state, local, or medical community’s insistence on health care workers getting poked, poked, and poked.  The backlash is real, growing, and about to explode.  Doctors and nurses, like Intel chips and potato chips, will soon be in even shorter supply in certain areas of the country as they walk out, quit, or move.
  6. If a nurse wants to move to Phoenix one hospital chain announced opportunities that pay $5,500 per 48-hour workweek starting immediately.  You read that right. If you like your nurse you can keep your nurse. Not.  It’s estimated that between 70-75% of the medical professionals in NY are or plan to get vaccinated.  It’s a dry heat.
  7. One baseball adage is that the baseball always finds the weak link on the team.  Gas prices, border crisis, crime waves, Afghanistan missteps, etc.  Hey, how’s the covid thing coming along?  Oh, it’s not Biden’s fault?  Of course, it isn’t.  Back then it wasn’t Trump’s either, but the media put it on him and he put some of it on himself.  Now, it’s the Republicans who won’t mask up, or needle up. Or, the media just calls it Texas and Florida.  It’s never too early to start discrediting DeSantis, is it?
  8. How will the narrative metastasize when the northern states go back to school (and the weather sends everyone indoors more often) and they light up as well?  Queue the “we need all Americans to get a booster” battle cry.  If one was good, and two was better, a third will make it best.  You can expect the CDC to announce any day now that anyone who got shot #2 more than eight months ago should get a booster.
  9. What percent compliance is reasonable to expect for a third shot?  The guess here is that no more than half of the vaccinated will go the booster route.  So while the noise loudens for complete vaccination, will the noise crescendo against it simultaneously?
  10. How will those states, counties, and cities that will require a vaccine passport enforce it?  If you have a two-shot vaccine passport it’s good till eight months after your last shot?  It will be like walking into a 7/11 store.  “You must be born after 8/18/2000 to be able to purchase cigarettes.”  Maybe CVS can start stamping the passport like when you leave for France.  All aboard.

Buckle up.  The fun is just starting.