jussiesmollett

Lefty, Shorty, Alec, and Colonel Jussie

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Last evening Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Station.   Rain was falling from the heavens at an accelerating pace, the fog was rolling in and cars were not.  Shorty- Why do we stay open until midnight?  Lefty- So that you and I can discuss the life and times of Jussie Smollett.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55-gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each was cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty-  Can you believe what a bad actor he turned out to be? Shorty-  I canceled Netflix months ago, what did I miss?   Lefty- Umm.  Are you not aware of his arrest?  Shorty- I must have missed the scroll at the bottom of ESPN.    Lefty- Are you from Colorado, cause it seems like you live under a big rock?  Shorty- The Boulder State?  No.  Too cold.

Lefty- Speaking of cold, let me bring you up to speed.  Jussie wrote, produced, directed, and acted in his own attack in Chicago at 4 AM on a freezing, snowy night.   Shorty- Sounds like a believable plot.  Lefty- He paid two black guys $3500 to put on white face and hoods, put a noose around his neck, scream MAGA and the n-word, and attempt to kill him. Shorty- Did they?  Lefty– No.  Shorty- If you want the job done right maybe you hire Alec Baldwin?  Lefty– Too soon.  Way.

Shorty– Why was he out there to begin with?  Lefty- He said he was going to Subway.  Shorty-  That’s dumb. The L train is elevated.   Lefty-  Jeez, not that kind of subway.  Subway Deli, like Eat Fresh!  Shorty- It can’t be too fresh at four AM, can it?  Lefty- Not only not fresh, he and his five-dollar foot long were probably frozen too.  Shorty– Frozen 2!  No way Disney puts him in that movie now.  Lefty- Dear Lord!

Fifteen seconds of utter silence feels like 15 minutes.

Lefty- Well did you at least hear about the trial? Shorty- The Rittenhouse one? Innocent.  Lefty- NO!  The Smollett one. Guilty on five of six charges.  Shorty-  For his final act did he at least take the stand in his own defense? Lefty- Yes.  And, he tried to weave quite the coverup tail.   Shorty- Call him Colonel Nathan R. Jussie? Lefty- I guess we could.  Shorty- What did the prosecution say?  Lefty- You can’t handle the truth.  Shorty-  CNN is not a good movie critic.  They said he was only guilty of “some” charges.  Five of six sounds like “almost all.”

Lefty- His acting career is over.   Shorty- Nah.  Hollywood will need someone to play an SUV in a soon-to-be-made movie.  Lefty- A what?  Shorty- CNN keeps reporting that an SUV ran over parade-goers in Waukesha.  Lefty- How can you “act” like an SUV?    Shorty- I’d start by studying the “mostly peaceful” protesters in a city near you.  Then, I’d consult with Don Lemon daily during the project.

Lefty- I’m OUT!  Lock up.  Shorty-  That’s what they’re going to do to Colonel Jussie.

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Random

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Ten days removed from the Thanksgiving holiday, we offer the Ten Nuggets deep-fried.  They’re deep with thought and might fry your mind.

  1.  The Cuomo brothers hit the unemployment line within weeks of one another and deservedly so.  They have a right to unemployment benefits, and apparently, they’re taking the Grate (on you) State of New York up on the opportunity per CNN.  They’ll need 24 feet to socially distance while in line.  First one brother, then six feet back is his ego, then the other brother and six feet back is his ego.
  2. CNN did a two-segment, 15-minute dive into what went wrong with Chris Cuomo and his waning days at CNN on Sunday.  It’s a self-aggrandizing network covering its self-aggrandizing show host’s downfall. Serial lier.  And, now comes another sexual misconduct complaint claim against him.  You’ve heard of like father, like son?  This one is like brother, like brother.  Our staff member that covered it is out 15 minutes of his life that he can’t get back.
  3. Jussie Smollett and Ghislaine Maxwell are on trial for two very different crimes.  Both are quite guilty and will be found so.  Smollett’s fake attack/bungled plan is laughable.  It was his worst acting job and he’s had a few.   And, it’s quite sad that he attempted to further divide a city and country with fake race allegations.  He’ll probably get a couple of years probation.  He should be made to pay back the city of Chicago every dime that they spent investigating this trash.
  4. Maxwell’s case has nothing funny about it.  You have to feel sad for the numerous young victims.  Kudos to four of them for having the courage to testify.  Adults taking advantage of the young is the lowest of the low.  She’ll get to serve some hard time that Jeffery Epstein was too much of a coward to face.
  5. Speaking with the Washington Times last week, Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez dismissed the recent smash and grab allegations of “organized retail theft” as a hoax with not much evidence to back it up. “National retail groups last month estimated the annual losses to being in the tens of billions of dollars,” reported the AP.  “Respectfully, the Congresswoman has no idea what she is talking about. Both the data and stack of video evidence makes fairly clear that this is a growing problem in need of solutions,” said Jason Brewer, Retail Industry Leaders Association Senior VP.  In 2020 she was reelected with nearly 72% of the votes cast in the 14th district of the still Grate State of New York.  Let that sink in.
  6. You heard it here first.  Omicron will be the catalyst to turn the United States back into people who think rationally about the never-ending covid quagmire.  The hysteria has peaked and alternatives are beginning to emerge.  There’s way more to this than to line up like sheep and get a jab and think that’s the answer.  More coming this week.
  7. In the sports world, four is the number.  The NCAA playoff committee seeded Alabama, Michigan, Georgia, and Cincinnatti one through four, for a chance to win it all.  With all of the yearly fuss about who could and should get in, the results from the season and conference championship games usually work their way out.  Georgia is a surprisingly high eight-point favorite over Michigan, while Alabama opened as a 14 point choice over Cincinnati in the semi-finals.
  8. Since 2014 Nick Saban has led his Crimson Tide onto the playing field as an underdog a mere three times!  In each of these contests Bama won the game by 17 points or more.  Saban owns Kirby Smart too.  He’s 4- 0 vs. his former assistant.  Smart called Saturday’s 41-24 beatdown a “wake-up call.”
  9. Four is the number of losses that all four division leaders in the AFC have as the season reaches the 2/3rds mark.  This makes for some interesting games down the stretch starting tonight when Buffalo (7-4) tries to take the East Division lead back from New England(8-4).
  10. In the NFC North and South, the Packers and Bucs lead their divisions by a whopping four games already.  In the West, the Cardinals lead by two over the four-loss Rams who figure prominently in the wild card at a minimum.  In the East, the Cowboys have four losses and lead the division.  They play the suddenly hot Washington Football Team twice in the next three weeks.   A sweep would put the Pokes four games up.

Get back to work now.