As we wrote Wednesday, the Washington Generals are off to a rough start with a won/loss record of 1-17,000.  It’s a winning percentage of roughly 0.0001 or one one hundredth of one percent.  But there is a certain 2019 major league baseball player who is actually off to a worse start.  Chris Davis, of the Baltimore Orioles is ohhh for his last 53 at bats.

Davis is nicknamed “Crush” Davis.  His 0-53 has now crushed the previous record for ineptness.  Earlier this week, Davis passed Eugenio Velez’s record of 46 straight hitless at bats, which had stood since 2011.  Dave Campbell, who parlayed his slump and playing career into a broadcasting career, went 0-45 many moons ago for three separate teams all in one season.   He and Craig Counsell are now tied for third in streaks you want no part of.  Counsell, who parlayed his slump and playing career into a managerial career (currently managing the Brewers) equaled that 0-45 in 2011.

If only 0-53 was the worst of his problems.  Davis set the record last year for the lowest average ever by a qualified hitter, crushing(not) it at .168. That’s one hit for every six at bats.    Under current rules, a player must have 3.1 plate appearances per team game for a total of 502 over a 162-game season to “qualify.”  One hit every three at bats, or twice as good, usually is at or near the league lead.  Davis hardly seems qualified to be called a qualified hitter.

In three-plus seasons since signing a seven-year, $161 million contract with the Orioles in 2016, his .199 average is the worst in baseball among players with at least 1,000 at-bats. His strikeout rate is a quite high 36%.  It all might be overlooked if he had game-changing power.  Davis doesn’t seem to have that anymore either.  His homer totals the last four years are a precipitously declining 47, 38, 26 and 16.

Shouldn’t this utter ineptness earn Crush a pink slip?  Yes.  There is but one problem.  Davis is still owed $23 million a year for the four years that remain. Every penny is guaranteed.

Perhaps he could be sent to the minors to work out the kinks?  He could be claimed him on the way down there.  If only the O’s could be so lucky. The percentage that anyone would claim him likely equals his 2019 average to date though.  That’s zero point zero zero zero.

Maybe he could be put in timeout?  He was iced down last year for 10 straight games.  How did that work out?

Crush says that he is open to anything to help him or his team.  One option is his outright release.  As crazy as that seems, it’s not unprecedented in today’s baseball.

However, in any day’s baseball, eating a $92 million Oriole contract is still a lot of crow.  Daily, the boo birds were feasting.  Even they have stopped picking at the carcass.  Encouraging standing ovations have replaced the howling.  Witchcraft anyone?

Poor Crush.