The best way to bump into celebrities is to live in Los Angeles.  The second best way is to travel to and from there frequently.   It was on a return trip from there that this writer very nearly chest bumped an “A lister.”

Another early AM Friday flight from LA  to Houston had boarded.  The week was done for the most part.  Luckily, I was bumped up to first class as a bonus on the bon voyage.  Before taking my seat in 1D I quickly saw that the overhead storage space directly over the row didn’t exist due to the curvature of the fuselage.  Being a bit of an alpha, I seized the opportunity to put my roller bag over row 2 just behind me.  What about the needs of the folks in row 2 you ask?  What about them I ask?

I settled in with The Wall Street Journal in hand; actually in two hands.  This was back when newspapers actually still went to print.  The hubbub, yapping, inefficiency, and general incivility of 250 humans boarding a plane was all around me.  Immersed in the paper, it was all just white noise to me.  It’s far better that way to remain somewhat sane truth be told.

With that as the backdrop I barely heard, and it really didn’t register with me, that a pair of first class flight attendants were at work in the galley as one remarked to the other that “it sounds like we have a VIP on board.”  This could be most anyone including United brass or a dead head trip friend, etc.  I stayed buried in The Journal.

Wheels up, a movie on the tiny screen, a breakfast, some computer work, and wheels down three hours later summarizes my time in the cylindrical 550 mph tin can.  A luggage grab, a stroll to the parking garage, a drive home, and a conference call is all that stood between me and a big time weekend.

That luggage grab would be like threading a needle though as I needed to walk backwards to get it.  The alpha in me said that I should bull rush the oncoming traffic, stifle it, and grab the bag versus waiting for a slow moment in the mad exit dash from the row or rows behind me.

As I took the hard left turn to do just that the person seated directly behind me for the entire flight headed for the aisle in the obviously opposite direction that I was.  And, because of that we both came to a full stop.  Then we met eye to eye for that uncomfortable moment that I created.  Well, it was almost eye to eye.  The gentleman was about a half-foot shorter than I.  Immediately the mind raced.  Yes.  Yes.  I cannot be mistaken.  Yes it is.  It was none other than George Clooney.  Oh yes I did, I flat out stymied George.

It felt like I had a pair of eyes on my back through the Jetway.  Once in the terminal a fellow passenger strode by and asked if I knew that was George Clooney.  I decided to stay alpha and went the humorous route, or so I thought.  I asked him “more importantly do you think that George Clooney knew that it was me?”  It was an odd stare back for sure. It was a bit awkward all around all over again really.

Oh, what’s the moral of the story?  Keep your luggage close and your A List friends closer.  Or, vice versa.