Last Call

Several years ago responsible breweries changed their messaging.  “I’ll have another” was replaced by “please drink responsibly.”  Suddenly you needed to “know when to say when.”  Party poopers.

A couple of months ago a virus, with ironically a beer brand given name, shut down the bars altogether.  It shut down a globe actually.

Governments here, near, and far quickly became experts on the enemy that we cannot see.  They continue to tell and told us when and why we could or could not do what, and for how long we could not what.  Did you get the idea that for the most part they meant well but were clueless?  Do you get the idea that, for the most part, they mean well but are still clueless?

Medial experts have attempted to help our leaders understand what happens if we behave in certain ways.  Medical experts have historical, learned, trialed, and anecdotal ideas and possible remedies.  Apparently, none are definitive.  Meanwhile, we needed to flatten the curve through social distancing they said.  Most say we still need to do so.

But now our president has turned the keys over to the governors of our united 50 and encouraged them to turn the economic engines back on as they seem fit.  He really didn’t have the keys to begin with, but was attempting to be a good designated driver for a while.  After all, the states either shut the engine down or kept driving all along.

Today, in very round numbers, a third of the states are past their expected peak in cases, a third are at their peak, and a third will reach theirs next week.

So the very same people who shut down our party are now the same ones charged with making a decision about throwing the next one.  That should make us all confident, or not at all confident.

The need to get back to work and get back to a “new normal” has begun to pull at our purse strings.  You can’t afford beer and pretzels if you can’t work.  The government is doing it’s best Bernie Sanders impersonation.   It’s giving out free money like the last call drinker gives out advice.  And, like Bernie, we need a hair cut too.  But, as Margaret Thatcher once said, “socialism is great until you run out of other people’s money.”  The government printer has to be running low on ink soon.

So, isn’t it time?  One governor who’s state makes a lot of cars even reprised the role of Mother Hen.  She knows best and the answer is “hell no.”  One governor opened up the beaches and a party broke out.  He knows best and the answer is “hell yes.”   Offices, parks, retailers, eventually restaurants, and finally bars will reopen coast to coast.  Like any good office party, it might not be a good idea to be the first one there, nor the last one to leave.

When will we see you again?  Do you know when to say when?  Does anyone?