donlemon

Lefty, Shorty, Alec, and Colonel Jussie

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Last evening Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Station.   Rain was falling from the heavens at an accelerating pace, the fog was rolling in and cars were not.  Shorty- Why do we stay open until midnight?  Lefty- So that you and I can discuss the life and times of Jussie Smollett.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55-gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each was cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty-  Can you believe what a bad actor he turned out to be? Shorty-  I canceled Netflix months ago, what did I miss?   Lefty- Umm.  Are you not aware of his arrest?  Shorty- I must have missed the scroll at the bottom of ESPN.    Lefty- Are you from Colorado, cause it seems like you live under a big rock?  Shorty- The Boulder State?  No.  Too cold.

Lefty- Speaking of cold, let me bring you up to speed.  Jussie wrote, produced, directed, and acted in his own attack in Chicago at 4 AM on a freezing, snowy night.   Shorty- Sounds like a believable plot.  Lefty- He paid two black guys $3500 to put on white face and hoods, put a noose around his neck, scream MAGA and the n-word, and attempt to kill him. Shorty- Did they?  Lefty– No.  Shorty- If you want the job done right maybe you hire Alec Baldwin?  Lefty– Too soon.  Way.

Shorty– Why was he out there to begin with?  Lefty- He said he was going to Subway.  Shorty-  That’s dumb. The L train is elevated.   Lefty-  Jeez, not that kind of subway.  Subway Deli, like Eat Fresh!  Shorty- It can’t be too fresh at four AM, can it?  Lefty- Not only not fresh, he and his five-dollar foot long were probably frozen too.  Shorty– Frozen 2!  No way Disney puts him in that movie now.  Lefty- Dear Lord!

Fifteen seconds of utter silence feels like 15 minutes.

Lefty- Well did you at least hear about the trial? Shorty- The Rittenhouse one? Innocent.  Lefty- NO!  The Smollett one. Guilty on five of six charges.  Shorty-  For his final act did he at least take the stand in his own defense? Lefty- Yes.  And, he tried to weave quite the coverup tail.   Shorty- Call him Colonel Nathan R. Jussie? Lefty- I guess we could.  Shorty- What did the prosecution say?  Lefty- You can’t handle the truth.  Shorty-  CNN is not a good movie critic.  They said he was only guilty of “some” charges.  Five of six sounds like “almost all.”

Lefty- His acting career is over.   Shorty- Nah.  Hollywood will need someone to play an SUV in a soon-to-be-made movie.  Lefty- A what?  Shorty- CNN keeps reporting that an SUV ran over parade-goers in Waukesha.  Lefty- How can you “act” like an SUV?    Shorty- I’d start by studying the “mostly peaceful” protesters in a city near you.  Then, I’d consult with Don Lemon daily during the project.

Lefty- I’m OUT!  Lock up.  Shorty-  That’s what they’re going to do to Colonel Jussie.

 

Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

CNN’s Don Lemon called for former President Barrack Obama’s chiseled likeness to be added to Mount Rushmore last evening.  “I think, listen … if they are going to put someone on Mount Rushmore, considering the history of the country, the first black president should be front and center,”  he reasoned.

The anchor that he was handing off to, Chris Cuomo added,  “Add to Mount Rushmore. I think that’s first of all, it’s a more salable idea than the idea of taking away Founding Fathers.”

The exchange continued.   Lemon said, “So what’s wrong with all of us together thinking or reshaping our country so that more people rethink our country in the way we think and where priorities are so the country it belongs to everyone.”

Cuomo said, “Nothing is wrong with it.”

Except everything about the premise is wrong with it.  If statues of Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln don’t deserve to be in town squares anymore, they why should they be on Mt. Rushmore?  If you can find a statue of Roosevelt let us know.  If Barrack Obama deserves to be on Mt Rushmore, start carving out the stone.

The conversations should be 100% independent of one another.

America strives for greatness.  America demands greatness.  America applauds greatness.  America builds libraries, museums, monuments, statues, and mountainside likenesses to honor distinguished men and women who helped America achieve its status as the envy (regardless of what some might want you to believe) of the world.  You might have heard that it is the “land of the free and the home of the brave.”

America got to where it is with little compromise. Why start now?

It’s easy to be average.  It’s hard to be excellent.

It’s great that America has now had a black president.  He was voted in as qualified by its citizens to lead us.   Soon enough it will likely have it’s first female president as well.  She will need to be deemed qualified to lead us as well.   May there be a day when these occurrences are commonplace.

But having a certain skin color or being a certain gender doesn’t make you great.  And being the first this or that doesn’t make you great either.  It just gets you noticed more than others.  Accomplishments and leadership of all of its people do.

So, did the four presidents accomplish enough for our country, in spite of any shortcomings, flaws, or mistakes along the way, to deserve to be forever admired in stone?  America said yes then.  Does it still say yes now?

Did Obama do the same?  America will, or will not, mull that over for years to come.

But don’t keep one(or four) up as a negotiation ploy to get another.

Can’t you just see Ronald Reagan shaking his head, coiffed hair and all?