coronavirus

Emotion Recollected in Tranquility

Posted on by boom booms room staff

The start of April 2020 has been tough.   But, April is National Poetry Month, and it’s worth celebrating.  Isn’t it?  We don’t have too many choices otherwise.

Could there ever be a better name for a poet than William Wordsworth?  Wordsworth, the old wordsmith, wrote: “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.”

We have lots of powerful feelings these days.  And, if you can keep your mind in a great place there is ample time for tranquility too.

With that as the backdrop, we present a poem so skillfully penned you would think it was carved from the edge of a surgeon’s scalpel.  It comes courtesy of an avid reader.

 

My Corona

 

We all had great jobs and unemployment was so low.

The market was way up, as we watched our retirement grow.

 

The U.S. was great again, and impeachment was a dud.

K.C. had won the Super Bowl, and Patrick Mahomes was a stud.

 

March Madness was starting.  Who would be king of the hoop?

Instantly, life changed when a Chinaman undercooked his bat soup.

 

But The Masters was starting soon.  We can’t miss Sunday’s back nine.

And baseball too?  But that’s America’s favorite pastime!

 

Social distancing is the CDC’s rule to observe.

All the models say we’ll flatten the curve.

 

What about Biden and Bernie and the democratic race?

6 feet apart, wear a mask and shelter in place

 

Corona is novel and like nothing we’ve ever seen.

Get in your house and serve a 14 day quarantine.

 

“Hydroxychloroquine and ZPak might help”, says the president.

Dr. Fauci says “No”, because there is no precedent.

 

Can’t we just try?  It might save our neck!

“No!”, says the Government.  We’ll send you a check.

 

Well done.  Bravo.  Amen.

Play Ball

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Is the stock market trying to tell us something?  The Dow was up over 1000 points yesterday.  In premarket trading it’s up another 750 points this AM.

We hesitate to even speculate.  We will, however.   But, we suggest that you keep hoarding toilet paper, if you can find it, in the meanwhile.

Does Wall St. see light at the end of the tunnel in the fight against the enemy that we cannot see?

President Trump said last evening that he can see it.   Is President Trump trying to tell us something?  He always does.  In a way it’s part of his job.  He sees it that way for sure.   Jimmy Carter told us in ’79 to use less energy and examine our lives when energy was in short supply.  Barack Obama told us that the manufacturing jobs were gone forever.  Trump is a tad bit more of an abrasively aggressive solutions-oriented president.

He said this on the same evening that he brokered a few deals.  He talked to two companies that must have some very advanced medicines or medical procedures in an effort to help Prime Minister Boris Johnson of Great Britain.   Johnson is now an ICU patient.  He also talked to India.  They are major producers of a drug that is rapidly gaining traction in the fight.

Have you ever heard of hydroxychloroquine?  It’s the same drug that Trump mentioned two weeks ago as hopeful and was taken apart by the media for a) giving medical advice when he wasn’t a doctor, or b) giving false hope.  Soon “hydroxychloroquine” might roll off of your tongue as easily as “social distancing” does today.

There are now more than a few doctors in a few countries that are treating coronavirus patients with the drug and in many instances in combination with one or two others.  We suggest that you read it for yourself.  We make no medical claims here.

IS MLB trying to tell us something?  Major League Baseball and its players are increasingly focused on a plan that could allow them to start the season as early as May and have the support of high-ranking federal public health officials who believe the league can safely operate amid the coronavirus pandemic, sources told ESPN.  Can you almost hear the crack of the ball off of the wooden bat off in the distance?

One thing is for sure.  We can’t live like we are for too much longer.  The world is built around commerce.  No commerce for too long means 1930’s bread lines that stretch too long.

The road to recovery on Wall St. has many potholes and left turns in front of it.  The medical road to recovery mandates that we drive six feet apart and is somewhere on some hill that might be flattening.

Trump is in the on-deck circle.  When the medical umpires think it’s safe enough he wants them to bellow “PLAY BALL.”   Don’t we all?

 

It’s a Fine Line

Posted on by boom booms room staff

There’s a fine line between civility and incivility in this U.S. of A.  Have you ever been stuck on a crowded plane for an extended period of time?  If so, you know.

And, the line seems to blur by the day these days.   It was there in the White House Press Room for all to see again on Sunday.

Reporters at the briefing repeatedly asked President Donald Trump why he chose not to wear a medical mask after he and his task force recommended that America start doing so just last Friday.  Nevermind that the reporter was not wearing a mask at the time he asked the question.  At least they don’t mask their disdain of the president that ended daily press briefings well over a year ago.

Trump used the backdrop of the loud whirling blades of his Marine One helicopter to “control” these scribes, especially the ones who are “fake news.”  But, the enemy that we cannot see forced Trump to confront the enemy that he can see all over again.

Another reporter, who also was not wearing a mask, noted that former Vice President Joe Biden said he would start wearing a mask outdoors.  That’s going to be difficult for Biden though.  The mask-wearing won’t be difficult, it’s the verification part.  No one has seen Biden outdoors or indoors in quite some time.  The #WhereIsJoe continues to trend on Twitter.

When we do see old school Joe indoors on his disastrous live feeds, he coughs straight into his hand old school style.  By hiding is he attempting to mask his rapidly declining cognitive/communicative skills?  Here is his latest.  If you can decipher the message, please share it in the BBR comment section today.

Could a Cuomo write-in nomination happen?  The NY mayor is getting plenty of airtime from the non-Fox channels.  His leadership during this existential crisis (far greater than climate change right now) is lauded daily.  He’s asked, begged, and demanded more masks, like the ones that no one in the briefing room wears, for New Yorkers.  Ventilators are in short supply as well.  New York didn’t put many of the above away for a rainy day.

Then he asked all hospitals in NY to share their equipment and supplies.  In other words, late to the social distancing need, NY got federal help and now he wants upstate to bail out the boroughs as well.  Have you ever been stuck on a crowded subway train for an extended period of time?  Too many Yanks were until not too long ago.

CNN doesn’t mask its affection for Cuomo.  They haven’t been this enamored with a possible candidate to take down Trump since Michael Avenatti appeared nearly nightly prior to his multiple run-ins with the law. We forget.  Who (er, how many) exploited Stormy?

And then there’s a not-funny irony to all of this.  In the City That Care Forgot, no one forgot to put on their masks for Mardi Gras.  And the result of putting on a costume and a mask and partying in the streets in NOLA has been a disaster.  Latoya Cantrell who has masqueraded as a mayor there for one year said that she received no federal warning not to “laissez less on temps roulet” (let the good times roll).

Do Cantrell and Cuomo play the federal help card, or bash the intervention of same for their political gain as necessary?

It’s the civil thing to do.

Another reporter asked Dr. Anthony Fauci why he was not wearing a mask.  Trump grinned as Fauci responded that the main reason to wear a mask was to protect sick individuals from spreading the virus.

Nevermind that the CDC Saturday advised us all to wear masks.  It’s the civil thing to do.

Heck, if President Trump was wearing one we would have been spared from seeing the grin.

It’s a fine line.

 

 

Trying Times. No Respect. Stay Safe.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

As we near the end of week three of sheltering in place we look for the positives.  We are positive that we have had the opportunity to get reacquainted with our family in a way “normal” life doesn’t even allow.  With that comes benefits and drawbacks like most anything else in life as we know it.

So, it got us to wondering, WWRDSAT.  What would Rodney Dangerfield say about this?

  1.  It’s been great, you know?  With the restaurants closed we’ve been able to eat a lot more home-cooked meals.  But my wife, she’s a bad cook, you know?  Very bad.   At my house, we pray after we eat.
  2.  The other day we were running low on food.  She went to the store, you know?  I got a call.  Halfway there she ran into a tree.  I asked her, ‘did you swerve to avoid it?’  She said, ‘No, but I did blow the horn.’
  3.  The way she drives, are you kidding me?  Vehicles are very cheap right now.  I went out and bought the perfect second car for us.  A tow truck.
  4.  My sex life has suffered too.   That I can tell you.  The other day I went out on my bicycle to get some exercise.  As I turned back down my street for home I see a grown man running down my street.  I said “hey what are you doing running down my street naked?’  He said, ’cause you came home early.’
  5. My wife, I thought the next day she wanted to make it up to me.  I got home from my walk.  She greeted me at the front door in some very sexy lingerie.  The problem was she was headed out.
  6.  It’s getting worse you know.  She told me that she was cutting me down to twice a month.  I figured that wasn’t so bad really.  I know some guys that she cut out completely.  No respect.
  7. I’m getting desperate in these times.  I figured I’d quit the online gambling.  I called gamblers anonymous.  They gave me two to one odds that I wouldn’t make it.
  8. I went down the local AA meeting too.  They charged me ten bucks to get in and said there was a two-drink minimum.   No respect.
  9.  The way my kids live their lives isn’t helping either.  My daughter, she’s been picked up so many times she’s starting to grow handles.  They ended her senior school year early.  Nonetheless, she was voted “most likely to conceive.”
  10.  I only wish my son’s room was as clean as his weed.
  11. I tried to break up the monotony yesterday.  I told my kids, let’s play hide and seek.   They never came to find me.
  12.  I figured some alone time might be best for us all.  I decided to go outside and skate on the pond in our neighborhood.  My wife suggested that I wait until it gets warmer.
  13.  I tried to close my eyes and think back to better times.  My childhood.  Ah, yes.  I remember my mom telling me that she had morning sickness after I was born.
  14.  She said the doctor told her that he did everything that he could, but I lived.
  15.  Even growing up was tough.  I had to stop playing in the sandbox.  The cats. They kept trying to cover me up.

Trying times.

No respect.

Stay safe.

 

 

 

16 innings, 2 pitchers

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Baseball should be in full swing by now.  As you know, it’s not.  And, it’s might be a while before it is.  So, in its absence, inspired by a Super 70’s Sports tweet, we went digging and found box score gold.

It also took a while to complete a regular-season ballgame on July 2nd, 1963 when the San Francisco Giants hosted the Milwaukee Braves (they moved to Atlanta in 1966) at Candlestick Park.  All told the game lasted 4 hours and 10 minutes.   That’s not crazy long by today’s standards, but it was back then.

What took so long?  It was a 16 inning game.  Why didn’t it take longer?  It didn’t take longer because there were zero pitching changes and likely very few trips to the mound.  Additionally, our guess is that very few batters stepped out of the box for very long either.

Loser Warren Spahn’s record dropped to a still sterling 11-4 when his screwball offering was accepted by Willie Mays in the bottom of the 16th.  Mays hit it over the left field fence for a walk-off 1-0 victory.  It was starter Spahn’s 201st pitch!  It also was his 42nd year on earth!

The winning pitcher was Juan Marichal (13-3).  Marichal threw 227 pitches!  Somewhere right now Tommy John’s left elbow is deep in a bucket of ice.

Fifty-nine times a Brewer stepped to the plate.  Eight got hits, four walked, and one reached on an error.  None scored.

Feared hitters Hank Aaron and Eddie Mathews from Milwaukee and Willie Mays, Willie McCovey, Felipe Alou, and Orlando Cepeda from San Fran went a combined 4-31 before Mays ended it.

San Fran manager Alvin Dark called it “the greatest game he ever saw pitched.”

“I said to myself three times, ‘This will be my last inning’,” a weary Juan Marichal said quietly. “Each time I went out there again.”

Who needs relief pitchers anyway?

If you’re a baseball geek, or if you remember getting your baseball news in the next day’s paper, the boxscore is below.

Take a look.  You’ve got plenty of time on your hands these days.

Baseball Almanac Box Scores

Milwaukee Braves 0, San Francisco Giants 1
Milwaukee Braves ab   r   h rbi
Maye lf 6 0 0 0
Bolling 2b 7 0 2 0
Aaron rf 6 0 0 0
Mathews 3b 2 0 0 0
  Menke 3b 5 0 2 0
Larker 1b 5 0 0 0
Jones cf 5 0 1 0
  Dillard ph,cf 1 0 0 0
Crandall c 6 0 2 0
McMillan ss 6 0 0 0
Spahn p 6 0 1 0
Totals 55 0 8 0
San Francisco Giants ab   r   h rbi
Kuenn 3b 7 0 1 0
Mays cf 6 1 1 1
McCovey lf 6 0 1 0
Alou rf 6 0 1 0
Cepeda 1b 6 0 2 0
Bailey c 6 0 1 0
Pagan ss 2 0 0 0
  Davenport ph 1 0 0 0
  Bowman ss 3 0 2 0
Hiller 2b 6 0 0 0
Marichal p 6 0 0 0
Totals 55 1 9 1
Milwaukee 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 – 0 8 1
San Francisco 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 – 1 9 1
  Milwaukee Braves IP H R ER BB SO
Spahn  L (11-4) 15.1 9 1 1 1 2
Totals 15.1 9 1 1 1 2
  San Francisco Giants IP H R ER BB SO
Marichal  W (13-3) 16.0 8 0 0 4 10
Totals 16.0 8 0 0 4 10
  E–Menke (12), Kuenn (5).  2B–Milwaukee Spahn (3,off Marichal), San Francisco Kuenn (6,off Spahn).  HR–San Francisco Mays (15,16th inning off Spahn 0 on, 1 out).  Team LOB–11.  IBB–Mays (2,by Spahn).  Team–9.  SB–Maye (5,2nd base off Marichal/Bailey); Menke (1,2nd base off Marichal/Bailey); Cepeda (2,2nd base off Spahn/Crandall).  CS–Crandall (1,2nd base by Marichal/Bailey).  IBB–Spahn (2,Mays).  U-HP–Ken Burkhart, 1B–Chris Pelekoudas, 2B–Frank Walsh, 3B–Jocko Conlan.  T–4:10.  A–15,921.

baseball almanac flat baseball

(Almost) Ten Piece Nuggets

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Welcome to the next day of your shelter in place life.  The canned soup blues got you down?  Worry not.  We’ve got some fresh nuggets, heavy on opinions, for you.

  1.  Do you think nearly eight years ago that Barrack Obama was vulnerable in his reelection bid?  He was.  Do you believe that Mitt Romney was a below-average candidate from the right to knock Obama off?  He was.
  2.  Do you believe that it took a candidate as weak as Hillary Rodham Clinton to lose to Donald J. Trump?  It did.  Even so, she carried the popular vote.  Trump was in the right place at the right time.  The middle of America was very tired of the same old, same old from an old and tired candidate.  And he smartly milked that for every vote that he got and she didn’t campaign hard enough for.
  3. Do you believe that Joe Biden looks like a very tired same old, same old candidate?  He does.  Is President Trump in the right place at the right time again?  He is in spite of his shaky Coronavirus leadership missteps. If it were Biden we would call them gaffes.
  4. Do you believe as bad as Biden is he still has a chance?  He does.  He does if he even gets to the general election, that is.  The #WhereIsJoe isn’t going away soon.
  5. It’s still 222 days till the general election.  What’s all of this sudden talk about Cuomo coming in on a white horse to steal the White House?  Crazy times make room for crazy twists and turns.  The DNC has shown great willingness over multiple election cycles to bend or break the rules to get to the candidate of their, not the people’s, choice.
  6. Cuomo bashed Trump for a lack of ventilators just this past week.  Where do a state’s responsibility end and the federal governments begin exactly?  CNN and MSNBC called his NY handling of the crisis very presidential like.  What do DNC, CNN, and MSNBC have in common?  Everything.
  7.  Mayor Latoya Cantrell of New Orleans bashed Trump for his poor handling of the spread of the Coronavirus as well.  He could use some help, no doubt.  To that end, we hope that the mayor and her husband will get around to paying the 90k they owe from several years of back federal income taxes soon.  It’ll help offset some of the $2 trillion that we are about to give to jumpstart our economic system.
  8. Would it have been a good idea to cancel Mardi Gras, Ms. Mayor?  For financial reasons probably not.  For political reasons probably not.  For medical reasons probably so.   Citizens from all over the world partied and stood toe to toe watching parades for 14 straight days through 2/25.  NOLA’s parish (county) is the sixth most infected one in America behind the five boroughs of NY on a percentage basis.
  9. Breaking news!  Nugget 10 was just traded for a four-pack roll of Charmin.  We’ll take a four-pack for one nugget any day.  The BBR Board of Directors will meet today.  A vote to approve the move is expected to pass unanimously.

Post digestion you should get on your Peloton bike for a bit.  Ride in place rhymes with shelter in place.

 

 

Pork. It’s Worth the Wait.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Isn’t the amount of negativity surrounding us today darn near overwhelming?  You bet it is.

So, today BBR has chosen to stay positive.  We see the glass of warm water that you should be drinking multiple times a day as half full.  We’re positive that if you add a squeeze of lemon in it that you can 1) lose weight, and therefore, 2) preserve your dwindling food supplies.

Feeling better already?  But wait! There’s more!

We’re positive that Madame Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi means well in this time of need.  Nancy came to the rescue with a visionary bailout/entitlement government stimulus plan all of her own.

While crazy Bernie just wants “Medicare for All” paid for by the taxpayer, Pelosi offers way more in her economic stimulus bill.   A six-pack sampling below unveils just a few of its probable positive effects.

  1.  a bailout of all USPS (that’s your post office) debt.
  2.  $35 million for the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts
  3.  a regulation that greenhouse gas stats are provided going forward on all flights
  4.  $15 minimum wage at all companies receiving assistance
  5.  1/3 board members chosen by workers for assisted companies
  6.  required early voting and required same-day voter registration

One should never let a good pandemic crisis slip by without slipping in a truckload (or $#%@load if you prefer) of barrels of pork and regulation.  Of course, a lot of our grocery stores could use a truckload of pork right about now.  The meat is so juicy it’ll be worth the wait.

We do think that Trump’s decision to not shake her hand before the State of the Union address, as well as her hand recoil, turns out to be a positive as well.   They were practicing social distancing before most of us had ever heard of “social distancing.”  How woke of the two?

And, when the Madame Speaker tore up the printed address she was prescient as well.  The virus tests positive (there’s that word again) on paper for a long while as you know.

Her examples of visionary leadership will have a positive effect on generations to come.  Here is but one example.  Senator Rand Paul was physically assaulted by his neighbor in 2017.  Injuries were significant.  And, four days ago Senator Paul tested positive for the Coronavirus.  “Rand Paul’s neighbor was right,” Pelosi’s daughter Christine tweeted yesterday.  That’s a multigenerational, passed on, bipartisan goodwill gesture if you’ve ever heard one.

Lastly, how about her warp speed ability to deliver the 1400 page proposal in such a short time?  Did she have such a measure ready to take advantage of a desperate time just like this one in her top desk drawer?  Like a lot of things these days, we’re positive about that as well.

The American economy is getting slaughtered by the day.  The pigs are soon to follow.

 

 

 

 

 

MAHA

Posted on by boom booms room staff

We doubt that you missed it.  But, if you did, here it is.   The Governor of California issued a statewide  “stay at home” order last afternoon.

“We need to bend the curve in the state of California,” Gov. Gavin Newsom said in an announcement. “There’s a social contract here.  People, I think recognize the need to do more. They will adjust and adapt as they have.”

Newsom also sent a letter to President Trump with the presumption that over half of California’s 35 million residents will contract the virus in the next 8 weeks.  Probably not.  Maybe.  Who knows?  He also requested that Trump dispatch the USNS Mercy hospital ship to the Port of Los Angeles through September 1, 2020, to assist with expected cases.  The visual of that would be, dare we say it, 9/11 tower-like.  But, are we past trying to look good?

With the a) the number of cases in the U.S. rising sharply by the day, and b) the number of deaths geometrically increasing in Italy, it is understandable to take this action.

Won’t the other 49 states get there at some point?   Aren’t we almost there, save for a few morons who decided to party on South Beach this week, anyway?  And, the sooner the better so sooner we can get better, please.

The local golf course did the following.  Four weeks ago it was business as usual.  Three weeks ago all of the carts and tables were getting wiped down after each use.  Two weeks ago there were no more condiments on tables and no more scorecards and pencils on the carts.  This week the restaurant and halfway stand are closed, and the sand trap rakes and divot fill sand containers gone.  Next week there will be no more holes cut in the greens, rather a small pot with a small flag will sit somewhere on the green as a target.

We kid you not on the above.  And, yet, if the increasingly safer measures taken by the week aren’t enough, what is?  What’s next, a sign saying keep off of the greens and tee boxes?  What’s left?  And, that’s the point.

On 2/26 San Francisco’s mayor declared a local emergency to make it easier for the populous city and international travel hub to combat novel coronavirus if it comes — even while stressing that it isn’t there yet.  It sounded Draconian just 23 days ago,  Not one case, not one case we repeat, had hit the city at that point.

What would Italy do if it had a do-over?

A national “stay at home” order would be a bold stroke.  It’s time to combat this invisible monster with a bold stroke.  Newsom is attempting to do just that.

Trump, if nothing else, is bold and combative.

MAHA- Make America Healthy Again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Drive Thru Only

Posted on by boom booms room staff

It’s time for a serving.  But, in an effort to help slow the spread of the Coronavirus,  BBR’s executive team met well into the evening.  We decided that in order to best serve you and the broader community’s need to slow the virus that you cannot call “Wuhan,”  all nuggets going forward will be available at the drive-thru window only.  Shortly thereafter McDonald’s followed BBR’s lead and announced the same.  It’s a tough time.  Have some not so tender nuggets.

  1.  President Trump took to Twitter yesterday and called COVID-19 the “Chinese Virus.”  This was an obvious retort to the noise emanating out of China over the weekend that attempted to pin the origin of the virus on the U.S.  The sensitive side of the press came out and condemned the name game blame.
  2. Meanwhile, Joe Biden referred to Ebola as “what happened in Africa” in his debate on Sunday.  The difference between the insensitivity of Trump and the Biden geography lesson is obvious.  Trump was doing it on purpose while Biden had one of those pesky gaffes.  It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  Or, it’s not what you say, it’s who says it.  Or, it’s both.
  3.  Then there was Hollywood director and “Meathead” character Rob Reiner’s tweet.  “We will get through this. But unfortunately not with the help of this President.”  Reiner is one of the president’s most outspoken Hollywood critics. “First he must be removed from the public square to let competent experts take over, then he must be removed from office to allow US to heal.”  He capitalized “us.”  Sounds inclusive (for all of those who agree with him) to US.

  4. The NBA announced that if it doesn’t play again this year, it will cost the league nearly $500 million in revenues.  That’s in addition to the substantial revenue loss the league already experienced earlier this year after the controversy surrounding Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey’s pro-Hong Kong tweet.  This global relationship, er partnership, is getting trickier and more expensive by the day for them.

  5. On Sunday, Nashville Mayor John Cooper led an emergency meeting of the Metro Nashville Board of Health. After the meeting, Cooper called for restaurants and similar businesses to serve only at 50 percent capacity or to allow no more than 100 customers through the doors.  On Monday owner Kid Rock thumbed his nose at the mayor.  The GM of his joint called the mayor’s edict unconstitutional.
  6. Speaking of mayors and speaking of unconstitutional, New Orleans Mayor LaToya Cantrell signed a coronavirus emergency order last week allowing her to ban the sale of firearms.  She signed a follow-up proclamation yesterday, further emphasizing her emergency powers to “suspend or limit the sale, dispensing, or transportation, of alcoholic beverages.”  No guns and no drinking will make NOLA hardly recognizable.
  7. The order stands “zero” chance in court and will be challenged.  After Katrina, Mayor Ray Nagin tried the exact same and had the edict struck down in court. He later lost an unrelated personal criminal case and wound up in jail for about 8 years.  Mayor Cantrell and her hubby haven’t paid their federal income taxes to the IRS in the last six years.  But, they were/are just trying to do the right thing for the people.
  8.  And yet another mayor called for some action.  New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio called for the nationalization of certain parts of the supply chain, and stated that “we’re getting close to a reality where the government has to ensure that the food supply, that it is not only available but that it’s equitably distributed.”  Crank up the printers.  Food stamps are on the way.
  9. So to recap, Nashville’s Mayor wants the bars closed.  New Orleans’ Mayor wants the sale of guns and booze shut down.  And, the NY Mayor wants us to stand in a bread line.
  10. Oh, and Trump said yesterday that we might be falling into a recession.  Ya think?

BBR’s drive-thru is open 24/7.  The nuggets aren’t in short supply.   But, if you want a happy meal or a Happy Meal, they are getting hard to find.

 

Laughter, the Best Medicine.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

A quick Google search for Reader’s Digest showed that a) yes the now 10x a year magazine is still published, and b) the circulation is over 3 million.

Long ago one of their monthly features was a compilation of musings of American life titled Laughter, It’s the Best Medicine.  It was (and maybe it still is) so well appreciated that they compiled the best and made them into paperbacks unto themselves.

We looked it up since we find the laughter part in understandably short supply these last several days.  Maybe it is the best medicine right now since the health and economy of the world is a bad joke being repeated in many languages.  Hopefully below makes light of a bit of it all.

At the local overrun grocery store Saturday at 8 AM we turned down one aisle to see a shopper with a buggy that looked like it could hold no more in it nor below.  The stack-up was monumentally well done.  “Crazy times,” she said.  “Crazy times,” I said.  One more glance at the pile and you could see four very large bottles of ketchup.  Four.  FOUR.   I had to.  “Hey, I’m just curious.  Why so much ketchup?”  “My husband loves it.  The last thing he told me before I left was to make sure he didn’t run out.”  Mission accomplished we presume.

Two aisles later were paper products.  An employee was stationed at the toilet paper run as a shopper put the third package of Charmin in her cart.  “Ma’am, as you can see from the limit sign, just two please.”  No response.  “MA’AM, its a limit of two, please.” As she pushed on, over her departing shoulder she said, “Oh, this one is for a friend of mine.” So thoughtful.

Over in dairy yet another employee was staged to help manage the mayhem.  By now, absolutely amazed at waiting in line 45 minutes to shop and witness it all, it was time to lighten things up a bit.  “Excuse me.  Do you know when the hurricane is supposed to make landfall?”  He looked unamused.  “Too soon?”  He nodded affirmatively.   The strong silent type he is apparently.

Meanwhile, Sunday night two nearly octagenarians battled it out appropriately six feet apart in a near-empty CNN studio.  The Democratic Nomination is still there for the taking Bernie believes.  Does he really?  Crazy Bernie screamed “Medicare for All” repeatedly for 90 minutes.  Crazy times.

Joe Biden confused Ebola with the Swine Flu with the Coronavirus with H1N1 with N1H15 with R2D2 and with CP30 at one point.  Of course, this was after he began the debate with a strong cough right into his fist when he was asked what he would do to combat the rapidly spreading virus.  You cannot make this stuff up.

Fox News resident rabble-rouser, Greg Gutfeld, tweeted during the debate “two cranky old farts arguing over who didn’t do what or did do that.  It’s like a Florida condo meeting over who keeps parking too close to the boat dock.”

Maybe the joke is on us.  Trump’s press conferences in the last week needed a standing eight count at times.  One of these two (very very likely Biden) will have a chance to knock him out of the office.   That chance (like it or not) improves by the day as our chance to escape a major disruption to our medical and economic well being is gone.

Maybe, just maybe, laughter is the best medicine.  And, you don’t need to wait for a test that we don’t have to get a prescription for it.  Laughter for All!

Pass the ketchup, please.