I’ve Got Another Story, and a Moral Thereof.

In the spring of 1983 I was 23 years old, one year out of college, clean-shaven after my bearded line up episode, and one year into the work world.  I knew so much.  I knew so little.  The south Louisiana outside sales territory that I gleefully covered was growing nicely.  Selling Duracell batteries to 23 different classes of trade offered a great work education, modest money(though it seemed like a lot then), and a bit of freedom and fun.  Some days beckoned to bring more freedom and fun than others.

On a particularly sunny Friday I decided that a half day of work and a half day of play was just what was needed to begin my decadent slide into the weekend.  But, as I went from one sales call to the next in the early AM one hour outside of New Orleans, I wondered what the half day play part of the equation should be.

Around the near turn they go at the old Fair Grounds.

I stopped to get a newspaper and a soda.  As I read the sports page the proverbial light bulb turned on.  My favorite over raced racehorse was running in the second race at the oldest race track in America, the New Orleans Fair Grounds.  Post time for race one was 1:15.

As thoughts of beers, cigars, horses, and gambling swirled through my head I knew that I needed an accomplice to share the winnings, swill, and smoke.  Hmm.  The pay phone swallowed my dime and the call went out.  On the other side of the line was one Joseph Roy Miller, aka Joey, aka Jojo.  Joey and I were high school buddies prior, four-year college roommates then, and are best friends to this day.

Ring. Ring.  Joey was finishing his studies at University of New Orleans at that point.  After school he worked at a laboratory to pay for it as well.  “JoJo, Dump Truck is running in the second race today.  He’s always in the money. I’ll pick you up in front of the Life Sciences building in an hour.”  “No, No!” said JoJo.  “I’ve got a Microbiology class at noon and have to work after that.”

Anyone in sales knows that “no” means “yes.”  “I’ll pick you up by 12:30 latest,” I said as I hung up the phone before he could respond.  There were but two problems with this.  And, they soon reared their ugly heads.  The first was that my last appointment of the morning, day, and week wanted to talk too much and buy too little.   I was now late.  The second problem is that I had no way of alerting Joseph of the tardiness.  Cell phones, like Al Gore’s internet, were not yet invented.

The company car, a beauty of an olive-green Chevy Malibu, rolled onto campus.  There stood furious Joey.  “Get in, we are going to be late,” I offered in a self depreciating attempt to defuse the fuse.  He said a few PG-13 or worse things back to me.  It sounded like he didn’t appreciate standing there while missing class and also calling in sick for work, only for me to be 30 minutes late.

I attempted to shift the conversation to the ponies and the day.  “I’ll get the parking, the programs, the tip sheets, and the first cold Dixie beers.” “Big deal,” he smashed back.  “We are going to miss the second race too.”  “We’ll still make it,” I confidently responded.   The Malibu may have run through a few orange (somewhere between yellow and red) lights getting there.  Once parked we race-walked to the bowels of the grandstand.  He was still filling my ear with hatred.  The more he howled the more I laughed.  “Two programs please.”  “Ah, Dump Truck is the five horse today.”

With the first race long gone, we heard the track announcer loud and clear as we stepped through the turnstile. “The horses have reached the starting gate.”  Jeez.  This is a last call of sorts for placing bets.  One quick glance at the lines and we knew getting down on Dump Truck would be dicey.  I jumped in one line, and he in the very next.  I got to the window and wagered a huge, for then, $10/10/10 win, place and show bet on the 5 horse.  “They’re all in line.”  That means “and they’re off” is soon to follow.  Joseph got his w/p/s bet ticket a scant few seconds before the ring, signaling the gate opening, echoed across the grounds.

We hustled outside and joined the rail birds track side.  It was a dollar to gain entry to stand.  It was two bucks to sit in the outdoor grandstand.  It was a steep three dollars to sit inside.  We stood.

The race announcer chirped about the horse’s positions as they roared past us at the start.  Nary a mention of the old and over worked Dump Truck was heard.  We saw the five on the jockey’s silks trailing the field.  The race is long we said.   He’ll make up ground we assured each other.  He continued to languish in dead last at each quarter pole.

As they turned for home on the longest stretch run in America the five horse was saving so much ground we couldn’t even see him.  The announcer clearly had given up on him too.  Still no mention of the old boy.  “And down the stretch they come,” he bellowed.  And there suddenly, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, was the five climbing past his competition one by one.   “A sixteenth of a mile to go.”  We were hopeful.  The five blew past the second place horse as it cruised by us and hit the wire.  “WINNER, the five.”

As we waited for the tote board to make it official we high-fived in joy.  We also wondered aloud how he came from nowhere, won the race, and yet we never heard his name.  It was weird, fun, and soon to be financially rewarding we hoped.

“The results of the third race are official.  The winner is the five horse, Royal Flush.”  Royal Flush pays $12 to win(on a two dollar bet).”  Royal Flush?  Royal Flush???  We looked at each other and pulled the bet tickets from our pockets.

And there it was.  We had missed the second race.  We had raced in to bet what we thought was the second race.  It was, however, the third race that we had blindly bet on.  We won.  We won over $120 each!  Huge!  We bet the five horse in the third race and had no idea about his chances.  Dump Truck had gone off in the second.  Dump Truck was hosed down and back in the barn eating some hay 20 minutes before we bounced blindly to the betting booth.

“As we cashed our tickets laughing out loud before LOL was even LOL, we went over to the board where the previous race finishes were posted.  And, there it was.  Dump Truck finished a distant fourth, and out of the money, in the second race.  I mentioned to Joey it was obviously better to be late than never.  He mentioned to me that my arm was going to hurt after he punched me.  “Want another Dixie, Joey?”  Cigars never tasted nor smelled better than they did on that afternoon.

What’s the moral of the story?  Easy.  It’s better to be lucky later than good never.  And, it’s fun to have great memories with a great friend.

 

 

 

 

Abby Roux Takes Down Vegas Part V.

Abby Roux returned to the cashier’s booth last week.  Her lethargy of two week’s ago is gone like last night’s t-bone treat.  For the CFB season she stands strong tall on four paws with a 9-7 won/loss , a 28 of 47 bones, and a 3-1 hunch record all vying for best in show.  Those results are 57%, 60%, and 75% respectively to the good side.

Speaking of the good and side, there are a few good teams sitting on the sidelines this week.  Teams that have played from early September till now without a break are panting like a dog and need a bit of kennel time.  In the AP top ten alone nos. 1,4,5,and 10 rest.  On to the picks where some games look better to her bird dog eye than others.

Stanford -3 v Washington State – The Cougars travel after a huge home party in Pullman last week.  This is a perfect spot for a letdown after they exhausted themselves leading and then outlasting Oregon.  The Cardinal hasn’t really put 60 minutes together yet.  Maybe they will Saturday.  Three bones.

Missouri -7 v Kentucky –  Abby has been chewing on this line all week.  She cannot digest it.  It makes no sense to her.  It’s almost as if the wrong team might be favored.  It’s as if Vegas is begging you to take the Wildcats.  We’ll zig and take the Tigers at home for that reason and that reason alone.  Two bones.

Virginia Tech -3 v Georgia Tech –  Abby knows better than to bet Rambling Wreck games.  It’s her version of chasing parked cars.  Sometimes lessons are learned the hard way.  If the Hokies want to play (they have been uneven this year) this is a 12 point Va Tech cover. If not, it’s another bumper right in the jowls.  One bone.

Michigan St -1/2 v. Purdue – This game is like feels like a walk in the park on a clear 55 degree day with no leash to Ms. Roux.  Purdue travels after a huge home win over THE.  Michigan St. tries to rebound from a Wolverines defensive masterpiece.   The lone flea on it is that Purdue is actually a lot better than Purdue normally is October’s end.  Abby hedges just a bit because of that.  Three bones.

Florida St +16 v Clemson, Kansas St. +24.5 at Oklahoma, and Navy + 23.5 at Notre Dame – The only thing Abby likes better than a big dog is, well, three big dogs.  This is her first exotic bet of the year.  It’s a long shot for obvious reasons.  It’s three big dogs all wrapped up in a three team parlay. She likes the Seminoles better than the Midshipmen, and she likes the Midshipmen better than the Wildcats.  Fearlessly she bundles the three.  One bone to win seven bones.

On a hunch take Mississippi St. -2 over A&M.  A&M hasn’t lost to anyone that they should not have. Jimbo is seeing to that.  We think that Miss State’s trenches are their equal.  This is a late field goal game winner at home for the wounded Bulldogs.  Tread very lightly.

Five bets with four favorites and a three dog tease have us barking with anticipation for Saturday.  It’s 10 bones wagered to win 16.

Woof!

 

 

 

 

Abby Roux Takes Down Vegas

When you combine a request that we have had from a few more than a few with Abby Roux’s desire (and a lot of tail wagging) to be more of a watch college football than a watchdog, what have you?   You have Abby Roux’s first week of many of college picks v. the Vegas spread.   Her five weekly picks, number of bones (the more the better she says, max of 5), and brief rationale follow.

West Virginia minus 3 over Texas Tech-  This is a must win game for West Virginia to be considered a legit contender in the Big 12.  The only thing tougher than winning in Lubbock is getting there.  Four bones.

Arkansas plus 21 over Texas A and M- Abby loves big dogs.  Arkansas is a big dog.  Arkansas is also a bad football team.  Maybe A&M looks past this game a bit.   Plus Abby is no fan of Reveille VII’s constant begging.  Two bones.

Kansas plus 17 over Oklahoma St. – Kansas seems significantly better than many years gone by.   Of course, that isn’t exactly a tall fence for a perennial barking dog.  They have a running back named Pooka Williams, which is nice.  One bone.

Virginia Tech plus 5 over Duke- Virginia Tech lost by two touchdowns last week at home v. Old Dominion.  Old Dominion.   Duke is 4-0 and ranked 22.  Has Abby lost her doggone mind?  Nah.  She likes to zig when others zag.  Three bones.

Ole Miss plus 11 over LSU- Abby loves LSU.  The boomboomsroom.com staff loves LSU.  Abby also likes sirloin more than ground beef.  LSU’s offensive line is hurt.  They’ll need to pound it on the ground to keep Mississippi’s explosive offense on the sideline.  LSU wins, but Ole Miss covers in Baton Rouge.  Abby needs to revert to the watchdog of The Room after these picks are made as our staff is headed east to BR to watch it live.  Three bones.

One hunch that we offer as a bit of a treat but put no bones on it.  Take Oregon minus two on the road v. the California Bears.

That’s it for week five in CFB and week one for Abby’s picks.   She did her homework.  Five games, four dogs, and thirteen bones.  Enjoy the games.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did You Make it to Next Week in Your Survivor Pool?

First things first.  Do you know what a college or NFL survivor pool is?  Of course you do.  Like the board game Chutes and Ladders, skip the next seven bullet points.  If you don’t, please read the brief explanation below.

  1. You pick one team only each week.
  2. That team must “survive” or win for you to pick a team in the coming week.
  3. The team that you pick must only win its game, not beat the points spread that Vegas assigns to the game.
  4. You can pick a team only once each season.
  5. Some pools cap the spreads on games even though spreads aren’t involved.  For example, the college pool that I am in prohibits you from choosing any team favored by 14 or more points.  In most NFL pools all games are in play.
  6. Last guy or gal standing regardless of what week it is wins the pool.
  7. Everyone else gets a Tootsie Roll (I always wondered about that name for a candy, didn’t you?).

Welp.  Guess what.  Week one of our NFL survivor pool saw 62 of 113 entrants exit.  That’s a lot of Tootsie Rolls.  Nearly sixty percent of the pool is GONE in week one.  Some years I’ve thrived in these pools and gone many weeks deep.   And, in other years I’ve vaporized awfully early.  It’s funny if it wasn’t so dang bad.  If you’re a football junkie you wait all year for this. Then.  Jeez.

So, below are ten thoughts that I have about these weekly, sudden death choices.

  1. Week one is the toughest of any unless you make it weeks down the road where few legit teams are left to choose from.  Why?  It’s because you don’t know what you don’t know.  What the hell does that mean?  It means that your brain (try as you might not allow it) thinks about the past.  You’re predisposed to looking backwards and projecting forward.  Raise your hand if you thought Tampa Bay and Carolina would be 1-0 in the NFC South and New Orleans and Atlanta would be 0-1.   I don’t see many hands.  I do see a long Tootsie Roll line forming however.  Tampa Bay crushed many pool participants in week one.  I was fortunate to take the Ravens.   I don’t like them much.  I just thought that Buffalo on the road with no QB worth mentioning was an easy win.  Buffalo is bad this year, all year, folks.
  2. Don’t pick bad teams.  Well, point one above would make you ask how would you know who they are?  You don’t.  Well, you might in college usually more so than the pros.   One year I took Purdue favored by 12 in week seven.  Poof.  Purdue is a bad team.  They always are.  They don’t deserve to be favored by 12 over, say,  William and Mary even if William is injured.  In week one this year I took the Longhorns from Texas.  I didn’t think that they were a bad team.  I guess they are.  Don’t those waxed shinny wrappers around the Tootsie Rolls feel weird?
  3. Some brainiacs save certain teams for certain weeks.  It’s a weekly path designed to carefully step around land mines and keep your powder dry.  It’s a great idea until it isn’t.  No one can see that far down into the season.  No one.  Take the best guess and hope that you get to see another week.
  4.  If you get down to two or three choices in a given week always take a home team over a road team.  Always.  If they lose at least you can say that you didn’t take a road team.
  5. New England (NFL) at home is as close to gold as Fort Knox.  Alabama (college) is Fort Knox.
  6.  Some pick the team, regardless of who they are, that is playing that week against a year long bad team.  Let’s say, for example, you chose anyone over the Cleveland Browns over the last two years.  Well you would have won 31 of 32 games.  One problem.  They play Baltimore, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh twice a year.  Nothing is perfect that’s why it’s called survivor.
  7. In the NFL it’s fine to pick a slight underdog later in the year that you like.  Really, it is.   A three-point or less NFL dog doesn’t always mess up your backyard.  If you don’t believe me, look back on any given week and see who won the game straight up.  Take week one (Henny Youngman), please. Tampa Bay (+9), New York Jets (+8), Philadelphia (+1.5 by game time), and Kansas City (+3.5) come to mind without even looking.  Cleveland (+4) tied.   And, Chicago (+7.5) came oh so close.
  8. Throw darts.
  9. Consult a psychic.
  10. Pray.

Well, week two in the NFL is upon us.  I’ll take the Saints to bounce back at home v. the Browns.

In college I’ll watch from the sidelines.   Thanks Tom Herman.