Politics

Free and Freedom Aren’t Cheap

Posted on by boom booms room staff

There’s free and then there’s freedom.

And, free is getting more plentiful while freedom is getting harder to find.

But, aren’t the best things in life free? That depends on where you look.

It costs nothing to catch Omicron, but that’s not the best thing in life.  But, at least our government is doing all it can to help prevent it and all of that is free.

There are free vaccines and free boosters and more free vaccines and more free boosters.  Stand in line.

If you think you might be coming down with a “rare” breakthrough case, there’s free testing too.  All that you have to do is wait in line for one assuming you can find somewhere that has any.

The US government has ordered half a billion on top of another half of a billion tests making its availability for immediate purchase nil and reminding you of your local grocer’s empty shelves.

We are told that the supply chain issue should resolve itself in a week, and then just another 7-12 days beyond that to ship right to your door!  Think Feb 8th or so and all will be well.  And, likely you’ll be well by then, too.

But wait, there’s more!

The government has ordered an untold number of N95 masks and close replicas and will be distributing those soon and free as well.

All of this is an extra good safety net in case your Affordable Care Act, aka ObamaCare didn’t keep you well during these troubled times.   Remember Bernie Sanders has told us repeatedly that healthcare is a basic human right.  Don’t try claiming Ivermectin on your insurance though.

He also has told us that college tuition should be free.  The avowed Socialist and almost every one of his colleagues from the left is a big supporter of Build Back Better which provides free preschool, darn near free child care, and child tax cuts.

Have a child and you can pay less tax for you and yours to live here.  Makes sense to you?

What about bread? Shouldn’t that be free, too?  If you were willing to stand in line for it, would this government attempt to provide it for you?

If only the wealthy would just pay their fair share, whatever that means.

Freedom, on the other hand, is getting harder to find.

Well, it isn’t if you’re an illegal alien (sorry, migrant) that walks in and gets shipped to, say NY.  Free healthcare and voting rights await your jet’s arrival.

If you fly to Pennsylvania you can even get a free puddle jumper to Delaware as the Penn Governor says that Joe Biden’s home state ought to have some new neighbors as well.

But, don’t write or say the wrong thing on any social media platform.  You’ll be suspended for some time, or if you’re a serial misinformer like Donald Trump you’ll be banned for life.  Freedom of speech isn’t free.

Let’s not get started on attempts to control guns.

You can still have a “mostly peaceful” protest at least.  It’s even a protected freedom to burn the American Flag.  Although, we don’t think the damage done to property gets fixed for free.

Where did all of those protests go by the way?  Is everything that we were mad about getting fixed?  Wait till Summer 2022 and/or Summer 2024 and we’ll see.  We digress.

And, don’t go try to earn a living, or go out to eat unless you follow the mask, social distance, vax, and testing protocol mandates we need to flatten the two-year-old two-week curve.

Freedom is out of style.  Free is trending.

Both are going to cost a lot more to keep this the land of the free and the home of the brave.

 

 

 

Taking the Bad With the Good

Posted on by boom booms room staff

So there’s bad news, more bad news, and even more bad news, and good news. Then there’s bad news and good news.  Which do you want first?

Ah, yes.  Understood.  Let’s get most of the bad out of the way first to get on to sunnier days.

The first bit of the bad is that those long lines that you’re standing in to get tested for Covid -19’s latest variant Omicron aren’t going to get shorter anytime soon.  New cases have exploded to surpass the previous highs of the late Spring of 2020.

And when you finally get to the front of the line and assuming they haven’t run out of test kits, the results might not be accurate so says the FDA.  “Covid-19 antigen tests may be less capable of detecting the fast-spreading Omicron variant,” the Food and Drug Administration cautioned on Tuesday.

If you test negative but exhibit the symptoms, stay home they ask.  Sure.

The new warning is based on preliminary studies by the National Institutes of Health’s Rapid Acceleration of Diagnostics initiative using patient samples with the live virus — analysis that “represents the best way to evaluate true test performance in the short-term,” according to FDA.

The good news is that help is on the way.  The Biden administration has signed a $137 million contract with a pharmaceutical company for the purpose of building a factory for COVID-19 test strip materials, a White House official confirmed yesterday.

But it’s going to take a while.  The new facility will not start churning out the materials for three years, according to the company.  Never mind that the administration is under fire for reportedly rejecting a deal in October that would have strongly ramped up the supply of COVID tests available now.  Remember, Biden always says, get vaccinated, NOW!  Maybe his new command will be, “Get tested, LATER!”

Of course, the bad news is that the three-year timeline also signals that the administration expects the need for tens of millions of such tests per month into 2024 or 2025 and beyond.

So, Covid-19 has plans to have a sixth and seventh sequel called Covid-24 and Covid-25?  How many Friday the Thirteenth’s can you watch?

At least $137 million is cheap money for such non-entertainment in these inflationary times.

Further, the multi-department cooperation by our government is heartening.  The Department of Defense issued a press release stating that it had awarded the contract in coordination with the Department of Health and Human Services.  It was funded through the American Rescue Plan Act.

Got that?  Government red tape never has supply chain issues.

The White House inked the agreement with MilliporeSigma, a subsidiary of German firm Merck KGaA, not to be confused with U.S. company Merck & Co.

“The money will allow the company over three years to build a new facility to produce nitrocellulose membranes, the paper that displays test results, in Sheboygan, Wisconsin,” the outlet reported. “That, in turn, will allow for 85 million more tests to be produced per month.”

Well, at least that’s some good economic news for Wisconsin.  After the Kenosha riots that never should have happened, the subsequent trial that never should have happened, and the SUV in Waukesha that ran down its citizens at a parade, they could use a dose of good news.

And, based on the above we could use another dose or two from Pfizer to boost our spirits as well.

 

 

 

We Come Bearing Gifts!

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Tis the season for gifts.  And, yesterday, while you were returning those one size too small pj’s, your government and its agencies were bestowing a few other gifts for you to try on for size.

The biggest gift of all was Joe Biden giving the states the responsibility to solve this pesky virus problem.  On a teleconference with governors, he said, “There is no federal solution. This gets solved at the state level.”

This seems odd.  A year or so ago, Kamala tweeted out that the first thing she and Joe Biden were going to do when they got to the White House was to solve this virus problem.

And, just a week ago he coughed through a White House speech telling us all that the federal government was ordering more testing, mailing in-home test kits, putting Army doctors into needed states, and telling us to get vaccinated, NOW! This Omicron variant must have really snuck up on them.

And with that, he clicked his heels and walked to his helicopter to depart to his Delaware beach house that you and some lobbyists gifted him for all of his roughly 94 plus years of loyal government service to the people and counting.

But wait!  There’s more!

The CDC gave you new social distance guidelines reducing the stay-away zone from six feet to merely three.  Retailers love selling gifts, so across America they are busy this AM scraping the old 6 ft. floor signs off and sticking new 3 ft. ones down.  Our best guess is that two years into this we can’t sneeze quite as far as we used to.  It happens to the best of us.

And then the good doctor, Dr. Fauci, weighed in.   He was and wasn’t in the gift-giving mood Monday.

First, he wanted to mandate that we give you the jab or three in order to get on airplanes.  “When you make vaccination a requirement, that’s another incentive to get more people vaccinated,” Fauci said on MSNBC. “If you want to do that with domestic flights, I think that’s something that seriously should be considered.”  Could he help with all of the cancellations, too?

But, then he wanted to take away your fun this New Year’s Eve. “When you’re talking about a New Year’s Eve party, we have 30, 40, 50 people celebrating. You do not know the status of their vaccination, I would recommend strongly staying away from that this year.”  Isn’t he the dud bottle rocket that never leaves the bottle?

He wasn’t asked directly about the 50-80 thousand fans in the stands at the roughly 25 bowl games between now and the New Year thankfully.  For now, it’s game on, if you can field a team that is.

The NFL is giving its players reduced return to work requirements after consulting with the NFLPA starting this weekend.  The new protocols are more lengthy and complicated than War and Peace.  There’s not enough virtual ink on Al Gore’s internet to relay them.  The New Orleans Saints needed a dose of this last night.

And, last but not least, the CDC gave us this statement yesterday.  “Given what we currently know about COVID-19, CDC is shortening the recommended time for isolation from 10 days to 5 days, if asymptomatic, followed by 5 days of wearing a mask when around others.”  Mask and ye shall receive a 5-day reprieve!

What’s better than the gifts that keep on giving?

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

 

 

 

An Empty Suit?

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Pre Zoom and pre casual Friday there were offices, typewriters, secretaries, liquid paper, ties, and suits.  The suits may have been two-piece or three-piece, wide lapel or not, with a matching pocket square or not, but everyone wore them in the workplace.

Surely you’ve heard that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.  But, ultimately it was what’s inside of that suit that counted.

One of our senior staff members had a dyed in the wool suit wearer of a father, complete with a fedora most days.  When he thought less of a person’s abilities than necessary to competently carry out the duties of their job, he called them an “empty suit.”

An empty suit might have looked the part or tried to talk the talk, but they couldn’t walk the walk as we twist Jimmy Johnson’s battle cry.

Today, we have a Vice President of the United States who regardless of her choice of clothing might have reached “empty suit” status.  Her name is Kamala Harris, and her accomplishments after one year are, well, we aren’t so sure.

But, she seems so sure of her abilities.  “Anything that I handle is because it’s a tough issue, and it couldn’t be handled at some other level.  And it has actually been part of my lifelong career to deal with tough issues and this is no different.”

Sounds like she’s talking down to the minions at levels below the VP to us.  We also note that there is no “I” in “team” as you may have heard.

And, actually, there may be no team in DC named team Kamala soon as well.  Her key staff departures are growing by the week.  Rumors of lack of strategy, lack of preparedness, and outright finger-pointing by the VP abound.

So what does a VP really do?  And what should/or does this VP really do?  POTUS named VPOTUS as the lead on the border crisis for one.  She’s resisted going there and says that she’s working on the “root causes” of unprecedented illegal crossings.

Don’t we all know what the root cause is?  It’s an open border policy driven by this administration of course.  Close the border, fix the problem.  Boom!  “What’s next?” she could ask.

She did fly to France and back.  The reasons for which are still unknown.  She does laugh a lot.  The reasons for which are called nerves.

Could she tackle this tricky virus thing?

She’s not the first VP and won’t be the last to be a punching bag.  The list and the list of failures/shortcomings are long.  VP nominee Spiro T Agnew, for example, never made it to the office for all of the right reasons.  Dan Quayle ran headlong into a tough word in a spelling bee.

But, Kamala might have made it to the office for all of the wrong reasons.  Joe Biden moved left and further left in each passing week on the road to the nomination. During Democratic debate #2 he announced that if nominated he would have a woman as his running mate.  During debate #3 he announced that she would be black as well.

There’s nothing wrong with being black or being a woman.  But, those aren’t qualifications.  They’re vote-getters.

There is plenty wrong with being over-jobbed.

What to do?  What to do?  Ah, yes.  Play the race card.

The Daily Mail reports that Ms. Harris has told her confidants that she would get better press coverage if she was a white man.  Joe Biden isn’t feeling too good about his press coverage right about now.   Donald Trump took a daily beating in years prior.  And, George Bush doesn’t send Dan Rather any Christmas cards.

So, is it down to whether Joe chose wrong, or a serious operation is forthcoming?

As a reminder, Harris was polling at less than 1% before dropping out prior to the first primary in Iowa when gunning for the highest job in the land back in 2019.  Basically, her own party doesn’t like her.

Now, with her all-time low VP poll numbers in 2021, she’s turning to none other than Hillary Clinton for advice to reverse the dire poll numbers.

Maybe the “vast right-wing conspiracy” theory will get dusted off?  There’s a great Bleachbit joke possible there too.

This will get interesting.  You now have an “empty suit” asking an “empty pantsuit” for advice.

What could go wrong?

 

 

 

Sunny Days

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Lessons today, we have three.   Geography, English, and Math.

First, can you tell me how to get, how to get to the White House from Capitol Hill in DC?  Pennsylvania Ave. is a good guess.  But the correct answer is a quick shortcut-Sesame St.

Today’s lesson is brought to you by the letter B and later the letters R and D.  Let’s use the letter B in a sentence or two.  Do you know what BBR and BBB(short for Build Back Better) have in common? If you said two B’s that is correct.  Do you know what else?  Nothing!  Correct.  You’re off to a good start.

West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin(D) doesn’t have constituents that have much in common with BBB either.  Yesterday, he told Fox News that studied the bill and was going with Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” when deciding his potential vote on the big, bigger, biggest government social and welfare handout attempted since Obamacare was railroaded through.

Some of Manchin’s fellow students disagreed with his learnings.  Representative Maxine Waters (D-CA) said, “While Manchin is exercising unusual power because of the numbers and is willing to be one man, one person that will hold up assistance to the American people, is absolutely disgusting and amazing to me.”

This brings us to the dreaded math session brought to you by the numbers 1, 2, 3, 50, 51, 1.7 trillion, 30 trillion, and 50 trillion.

One sometimes is the loneliest number that you’ll ever know.  But Manchin is doing something very similar to what John McCain did just a few years back when the GOP attempted to end Obamacare.  That is, he has the right and courage to stand up for what he believes in.  Refreshing.

She continued, “In that bill, we have the child tax credit, where we’re having to eliminate poverty for children in this country. I have in that bill money for housing. The cost of housing is exploding. We need to build affordable housing. We need to do something about homelessness.”   What about free lunches, too?  People get hungry, don’t they?

Did she forget that 50 Republicans are also against this government handout?  Probably not, but there’s that pesky letter D after Manchin’s name that so upsets her.  Cause 50 R’s plus one D equals 51.  And that’s the kill shot to the $1.7 trillion bill that Biden says will pay for itself.

Sure it would have, just like it only took to two weeks to slow the curve two years ago.  Now it’s three vaccines, not Maxine’s, and counting, but we digress.

Waters added, “I don’t know how he thinks he’s going to get away with this.”  Get away with what?  His right to vote for that which he thinks is right?

Put the bill up and let him stand before the American people and tell them that he does not support child care and climate change, and housing assistance for people who are desperately in need of rental assistance and the ability to have safe and secure housing.”

Sounds like this bill could have been the panacea for nearly all that ails Americans.  And more.

It even solves the largest existential threat to our country-climate change.   And, it is way, way cheaper than the $30-50 trillion bandied about during the Democratic Nomination process.

Back to geography we go. Doesn’t Manchin know that Miami is about to slip into the ocean?  Does he even care?

West Virginia is a long way from any rising waters. Manchin is in hot water with the Dems.  And Maxine Waters is, well Maxine Waters.

Can you tell me how to get…

Class dismissed.

 

 

 

 

Crime Solved

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Yesterday BBR posted content questioning what some cities and their leadership were doing about the ramp-up in flash mob theft.  We specifically cited Lori Lightfoot’s ignorant response(s) which put the responsibility back on the retailers.  Lightfoot is no gumshoe, but we digress.

We also observed that about twenty national retailers penned a letter asking the federal government for help.  Well, what do you know?  Yesterday, Jen Psaki, WH Press Secretary was asked what the reasons for this spike were and what help the Biden Administration would provide back to the local level.

“I would say, we have seen, I’m not going to attribute the reasoning from here,” Psaki said. “What I will tell you is we have seen an increase in crime over the course of the pandemic. There is a range of reasons for that.”

Psaki didn’t go into any of the range of reasons.  But she did cite the pandemic.  We are aware of several side effects of Covid-19 and its variants like the loss of taste and smell, but not the loss of merchandise in stores.   Who knew that planned robberies were a viral symptom?

What is even stranger is that this side effect seems to be acutely affecting San Francisco, Los Angeles, Chicago, Seattle, New York, and Minneapolis.   All of these cities lead the way in mask mandates and social distancing.  We wonder if asking their police to stand down prior to the pandemic during the “mostly peaceful” protests could be a root cause as well.

Maybe.  “The president has proposed additional funding in the budget to make sure local police departments and cops have the funding they need,” Psaki said. “We also have worked directly with police departments in areas where they are seeing the highest impact of the crime, the retail theft—which we have great concern about.”

So, it seems that defunding the police and causing mayhem was the ticket to getting elected while refunding the police might be needed to get reelected.

Also.  “One of the root reasons of crime in communities is guns and gun violence, and we’ve seen that statistically around the country,” Psaki said last week.  Chicago might even agree.

No one asked her if any guns have been brandished during the smash and grab crimes.  They haven’t been.  But, it’s always a good day to take a shot at gun control that way when a store owner shoots a “victim or two” we can take to the streets again protesting these senseless shootings.

And finally.  She added: “Our focus is currently on doing what we can to make sure the funding is out there to the communities that need it the most.”

Which communities need it the most?  The ones cited above that elected them in the first place.  It’s always a good day to throw federal money at your local political bases.

So there you have it.  Just one day after asking, ye shall receive.

This is governance at its finest.

Problem day one, fixed day two.

Now, these cities can go back to enforcing the reinstated mask mandates to save even more lives.

 

 

Crime Time

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Long before Kamala Harris was named Border in Chief she ran quite poorly for Commander in Chief.   Prior to that she was a Senator, and prior to that she was the Attorney General for the State of California.

As AG her number one job was to prosecute individuals that the state felt were guilty of a crime.  You would think she knows a criminal when she sees a criminal.  You would also think that she would know well enough to refrain from jumping to conclusions until facts around such cases are researched.

Back in 2019 when the Jussie Smollett circus came to a town known as Chicago, Kamala tweeted, “@JussieSmollett is one of the kindest, most gentle human beings I know. I’m praying for his quick recovery. This was an attempted modern-day lynching. No one should have to fear for their life because of their sexuality or color of their skin. We must confront this hate.”

Well, that didn’t age well.  Madame VP has yet to tweet or publicly speak to the Smollett guilty verdicts nor her rush to judgment.  Remember BBR lecture no. 23- never let facts get in the way of a good narrative.

There are/were so many lessons to be learned right there in the Windy City.

But, the Mayor of the Windy City, Lori Lightfoot disagrees.  You would think she would know better as well.

Her thoughts?   She essentially told the retail community to fix the crime issue themselves.

She specifically mentioned security guards at the door, entrance cameras, merchandise “either chained and roped or put behind glass” and customers being “buzzed into” stores.

On Thursday, Illinois Retail Merchants Association President Rob Karr flatly rejected all of the mayor’s ideas.

He branded the suggestions “extraordinarily disheartening,” “misinformed” and “false”—yet another example of how Lightfoot “continues to point fingers and play the blame game.”

And he continued, “We’d be getting screamed at for [racial profiling].  And furthermore, it would push more people to simply go online. Why would you go to a store if you can’t touch, feel and try on the merchandise?”

And online is where the stolen merchandise is going for resale. Looks like these mobs “fence” the goods on Al Gore’s internet.

As if brick-and-mortar didn’t have enough problems dealing with online, now they are paying for the products, displaying them, losing the cost dollars when stolen, and watching online third-party “retailers” gain 100% profit from them.

If the local government won’t help, how about the federal government?

Twenty CEOs at major retailers sent a letter addressed to congressional leadership on Thursday asking lawmakers to pass legislation to help curb illegal business activity by anonymous vendors online.

What to do?  What to do?

With her border now under control, maybe Biden can assign the former AG, now VP, to tackle this difficult situation.

Her judicial eyesight is so good she can spot a crook on a snowy night at 4 AM from hundreds of miles away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Stage, Bright Lights

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Be careful what you wish for.  Sometimes the big stage and the bright lights are too big and too bright.

Ask the Kenosha prosecuting attorney if he agrees with the above.  He’s either smart reaching for a mistrial or real dumb at his job.  We’re picking plum dumb.

The Rittenhouse case is going so poorly that you would think the witnesses he called were defense witnesses.  The judge has all but tossed him from the courtroom.

If you got behind a microphone and asked “why was Kyle Rittenhouse even there?” should you also ask yourself why were the protesters there?  Ah yes, they were protesting (rioting and burning down the town) because of perceived social injustice.

However, the video proved otherwise, and it’s not even debatable.  The DOJ investigated and declined to press any charges against the officer.  It was deemed a necessary shooting.

But, never, ever let facts get in the way of a good narrative, especially in an election year.

Well, if you can’t make a case against the officer, try the “white supremacist” AK-toting teenager. Somebody has to pay.

We would ask LeBron James, but we already know that he isn’t afraid of the bright lights.  He tweeted after Rittenhouse took the stand and broke down, “what tears?????”  There are plenty King, you just aren’t looking in the right place.

Blake is paralyzed.  Two protesters are dead.  Shop owners lost their place of business.  Employees lost their jobs.  All for nothing.  Nothing.   Maybe King James should devote more time to furthering his expertise on human relations in the People’s Republic of China.

There is blood on the hands of more than Rittenhouse in this one.

Ask Kamala Harris if she agrees with the above.

The VP, her nervous laugh, and “cringe-worthy” moments travel together.  This time she descended on France for whatever reasons that pale compared to the mess that this side of the pond is in.  Undeterred, Harris broke into some drivel about “The Plan” in front of worldwide cameras and decided now was a good time to throw in a bad attempt at a French accent.

You can run, but you can’t hide.  And, she can’t run for any office again and be taken seriously.  And, the race is on.  She’s trying to run from the Biden Administration and the Biden Administration is trying to run from her.  Ten months into the second-highest job in the land and her approval rating sits at 28%.

As a reminder, she was so popular in the party that she withdrew from the presidential nominee process before the first primary with a less than a 1% poll number.

Ask Joe Biden, when he wakes up if he agrees with the above.  His approval rating stands at 38%.

Why? Afghanistan, border chaos, vaccine mandates, out-of-control social program spending, decades high inflation, a November 2nd ballot box wake-up call, and Senator Joe Manchin comes to mind.

Sunday his Department of Energy Secretary took to the talk shows.  Jennifer Granholm said oil is a global market “controlled by a cartel, the cartel is called OPEC.”  To think that just a dozen months ago America was darn near energy independence.  Asked if she would ask the US producers to ramp up production, she laughed loudly and said, “that is hilarious.”

Folks paying $4-6 a gallon don’t get the joke.  Inflation is the biggest tax on the low to middle-income families you can assess.  They spend all that they make to provide for their families.  The more things cost, the less they can buy.

Be careful what you wish for.

 

 

Yin and Yang

Posted on by boom booms room staff

If America had a nickel for every time a politician said “we need to come together as a nation and move forward,” America wouldn’t be in debt.  Well, it still would be actually based on the “free” for all mentality we have in place now.  But, go with it anyway.

The truth is we never come together in the absolute sense of the phrase.  We aren’t even built that way as the checks and balances that our founding fathers (can you still say that?) put in place some 245 years ago create what used to be a purposeful debate.  And, we should thank them for that.

But, way back when we did a much better job of putting the country first and the agendas of factions thereof second.

Remember when House Majority Leader Tip O’Neill and Ronald Reagan would top off Tip’s glass of Scotch and hammer out a deal while Tip got hammered?

Bill Clinton’s tenure at the top produced nearly balanced budgets and a budget surplus once or twice.  He signed into law the three strikes and you’re out legislation.  The border was ours and we protected it well.   As a friendly reminder, Clinton was a Democrat.  But most all Americans saw these policies as effective, not just the more moderate left back then.

No more, and close isn’t close.

So, what to do?  Well solving it on just one quick dip of the pen in the ink well is far too ambitious.  But, with an early eye on 2024, we have an idea to try on.

Biden has no shot unless you count his three and counting “vaccine” shots.  Kamala will be off creating a new gameboard phenomenon called “Where’s Kamala?”  She’s practicing and perfecting it now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the President and Vice President of the United States, Ron DeSantis(R) and Tulsi Gabbard(D).

Did you see the R and D inside of those parentheses?  Of course, you did.

Forget if you like DeSantis or not. The pendulum always swings and it’s swinging right now.  The Republicans will return to the highest office in the land, mail-in ballots or not. It’s him or someone else from the right.

The point is, what if he used his Floridian stones to go where only Abe Lincoln and Andrew Johnson have gone before?  Nominate the opposite party as your running mate.  He’s not afraid to make bold moves and take chances.

At a minimum, for the Republicans, it would(should) neuter the every four-years “war on women” nonsense that the Dems drag out.  The cries of misogyny would be dampened.  And it reaches across the aisle like never before.  It might even make Morning Joe happy, or infuriated, or both.

She seems very even-keeled, intelligent, and moderate in her views. She could be the yin and Ron the yang.  Her actions (military service) and her words always seem to try to put America, not her party, first.

And, most of all “we could come together as a nation and move forward.”

Couldn’t we?

Sure, probably, maybe, doubtfully, no chance.

 

A Free Chicken

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Ok, it’s time for Congressional Jeopardy.  Welcome, everyone!  What a great group of contestants we have today.  Let’s get started.

Madame Speaker, please select.

“I’ll take Marketing 101 for $100.”

This game-changing business owner famously declared “focus groups are worthless, we know what our consumers want more than they do.”

Senator Manchin buzzes in. “Who is Steve Jobs?”

“Correct, and boy was he, please select.”

“Marketing 101 for $200”

“This American President famously believes he knows more about what Americans want than they do.”

Rep Jayapal buzzes in.  “Who is President Joe Biden?”

“Correct. Unfortunate.  But, correct.  Please select.”

“How about Campaign Slogans for $100.”

“The date that “Build Back Better” got reduced to “Better Not Build Back.”

Senator Manchin.

“What was Tuesday?”

Correct again, please select.

“Let’s take Now What? for $100.”

And the clue is, ha, well, “Now What?”

Jayapal.  “Spend more?”

“In the form of a question, please.”

“What is spend more and offer a free chicken in every pot?”

No sorry.

Madame Speaker buzzes.  “What is blame Trump?”

No sorry.  “Impeach Trump?”  No, still sorry.

Senator Manchin, do you want to take a shot?

“What is you better pay attention to what Virginia just told you.”

Correct.  Select again.  We have but a minute remaining in Double Jeopardy.

Let’s take “All things Minnesota” for $1000.

The clue is, “enough of this nonsense already.”

Senator Manchin. “What is the police defund just got a refund.”

“Correct.”  Bahhhhh.  “Time is up.  We see Manchin in the lead with $12,000, Madam Speaker with $2,000, and unfortunately Rep Jayapal with -$200 which makes you unable to play Final Jeopardy.

Jayapal asks, “why not?”  Alex Trebek’s fill-in responds, “you actually have to have your own money to risk money.  And the category today is Famous Bills.  We’ll be back after this commercial word.”

The video cuts to the commercial  “Hello, I’m President Biden.  As you know I have a job that requires long hours.  If you’re like me and sometimes fall asleep in meetings, or interviews, or summits, try NoDoz. It gets the job done when I’d rather sleep on it.”

“Welcome back to Final Jeopardy, the category again is famous Bills, and the clue is, “This Bill now carries a price tag of somewhere between $1.7 and $3.5 trillion dollars?”  “Good luck.”

Do do do, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah doo, doo doo doo, dum, dum, dum.   Pens down, please.

“We go now to Madame Pelosi. Let’s see what she wrote.  ‘What’s the cost of paying off all of Bill Clinton’s dalliances?’  No sorry.  How much did you wager?”

“I wagered $1,000,000.”  Well, you only had $2,000, so I’m not sure how you can do that.”

“I’m the Speaker, I can do anything I want.”

“And to Senator Manchin.   He wrote, ‘The Reconciliation Bill, vote for it and America will vote you out in 2022.'”

“CORRECT.”  Let’s see how much you wagered?  “Your entire political career!”

And Senator Manchin you are our Congressional Jeopardy Champion!

Congratulations!”

doo, doo, doo, dah, dah, dah…