I Have Yet Another Story and a Moral Thereof

In the seasons leading up to and in the seasons after Tom Dempsey’s miracle kick there were plenty of other home Saints games that Boom Boom and I attended.  There were seven a year(14 game seasons) in fact, and nine including preseason games.

We went to all of them, and I mean all of them.  And we got there early and always stayed till the (often bitter) end.  And, I mean we got there early.  The gates opened at 10 AM for noon kickoffs.  We were in the car by 9:40 latest.  It wasn’t uncommon for us to arrive by 10:00 AM.  Why?  Well, for one, we beat the traffic.  We got a great parking spot too.  We always parked a mile away in a high school lot.  We always had the first spot closest to the exit.

I never asked why we got there so early, but it sure seemed fine to me.  Once I counted seven fans sitting on their old Tulane Stadium wooden bench seats in the entire 84,000 seat capacity stadium.  Seven.  And that count included the two of us.  Back then you could bring most anything in to the stadium.  We brought sandwiches, a canned soft drink for me, a thermos of coffee, and a flask of what dad called “snake bite medicine.”  There was something calming and exciting at the same time about sitting there, eating an early lunch, and chatting about the upcoming NFL football with dad.

Just about the time the sandwich was gone a few Saints would trickle out of the locker room.  This always included Tom Dempsey or the kickers that competed before and after him.   I would run from where ever our seats were to the end zone.  My goal was to catch one of the warm up field goal attempts that soared into the bench seats one after the other and then throw it back.  There were no nets back then.  I wasn’t alone.  The competition for a youngster was taller and older.  And, the football flew high, far, and fast.  I never caught one.  I did get my fingers on one once.   I actually dislocated a finger in fact.   It looked crooked and hurt much.  Around the stadium I went.   Dad gave it one good pull in spite of my protestations and it was back in place.  I started to ask if the “snake bite medicine” might soothe the pain.  Then I thought it better not to.

On one particular sunny Sunday morning we departed, as always, on time for the game.  I was looking forward to the sandwich, the chat, the opportunity to finally catch a ball, and the kickoff.  Surely this was the week that the Saints would break their losing streak.    After parking and walking we approached the ticket taker at our gate.  Boom Boom rooted around in his coat pocket (a sport coat and a tie were standard attire then) then his pants pockets.  His eyes got bigger with each empty pocket.  “Son, I think I forgot the tickets.”  “What do we do, Daddy?”  “Let’s run back home and get them,” he said.  His voice tone spoke volumes of the disappointment in himself.  “But, we will miss the kickoff,” I selfishly said.  “Maybe not” came the retort.

From the entrance we spun our heels and walked the mile back to the car.   Like salmon we wove our way back home.  Mom, being mom, heard the car and ambled outside worried about our arrival.

“What’s wrong?”  Boom Boom slowed down to a jog while passing her.  It was just long enough to admit that he forgot the tickets.

“Get back in.  Let’s go.”  And off we went.   Traffic had built, but not too badly.  Boom Boom had slipped the attendant a couple of bucks to save our parking spot.

One mile of brisk walk later we were in the stadium and headed to our seats.    We sat down for only a minute or so before we were asked to stand up as Al Hirt blasted the national anthem through his seasoned trumpet.

As the brass horn hit the last notes Boom Boom lamented, “Son, that’s the latest that I’ve ever arrived for any game. We almost missed the Star Spangled Banner.”   “ We made it before kickoff, Dad.”  “You never want to be late for anything,” he said.  Hmm.

By the end of the third quarter the Saints had done plenty enough wrong to insure another loss was well in hand.   We stayed until the final seconds though.   We always did.  Always.

During the game and then on the walk back to the car I thought about asking him why being in our seats before the Anthem was so important.   Then I thought it better not to.

“Thanks for taking me to the game Dad,” I chose instead.   “You bet,” came the quick reply.

So, what’s the moral of the story?  If you’re not early, you’re late.  And, don’t ask why.

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-CFB

Go ahead.  Throw away the last of the pecan pie.  It’s getting close to two weeks old!  If you are brave enough it’s likely bittersweet by now anyway.  Likewise, it’s bittersweet that Rivalry Week in CFB has come and gone.   And, Army v. Navy aside, we now must wait a few weeks for more college football.  That’s when way too many bowl games between way too many mediocre teams start.

The latest AP Top 25 is out.  The playoff committee has spoken (Alabama v. Oklahoma, and Clemson v. Notre Dame).  The bowl matchups are set.  We serve up ten not bittersweet nuggets below.  With so little movement in the Top 25 we changed the menu slightly.  These nuggets are more random thoughts about the season than they are about the order of the teams.  Digest them as you please.

  1.  Kirby Smart was not so smart in the final two minutes attempting the fake punt as Georgia succumbed to the second half crimson tidal wave, 35-28.  Alabama sewed up the no. 1 seed in the playoffs and Georgia fell out.  That the Red Elephants won isn’t a big surprise.  The problem with Smart’s dumb fake was that Bama was playing their defenders, not the punt return team.  Hence, it wasn’t a surprise to Bama.
  2. Increasingly over the last five or so years more coaches are going for it on fourth down.  They are willing to risk forty yards of field position to keep the ball.  It’s a complex equation of when, where and why to go for it on fourth down.   Whether he should have is quite debatable.  But, if Kirby felt like he couldn’t afford to give Alabama the ball back, he should have used his best offensive play in going for the first down.  With the clock stopping briefly on first downs in college ball a little bit of time remaining is a lot.  Clearly the fake was no surprise.
  3. With that. out of the playoffs bounces Georgia. and in strides Oklahoma.  Their prize is a first round game v. Alabama.  Oklahoma played just enough defense against Texas to join the party.   They even ran the ball and ran the clock some when it counted.  How their D stops Alabama is TBD.  Lincoln Riley has nearly month to figure it out and he will everyone of those days and nights.  One note to keep in mind.  Bama has started slowly in the first half of the last three contests.   They rallied to crush The Citadel, soundly beat Auburn, and squeaked by Georgia.  Another disinterested start by them against the machine that the “O”klahoma offense is might be interesting.  The early line is Alabama minus 14.
  4.  Isn’t the Clemson run rather quiet relatively speaking on the national level?  Syracuse gave them a full 60 minutes nine long weeks ago.  Since then they have plowed through the last eight weeks and three ranked teams winning by 60,34,49,61,20,29,21, and 32 points.  The ACC Championship Game v. Pittsburgh was but an ACC coronation ball for King Dabo and his Tigers.  The early line v. ND is Clemson minus 11.5.  Would it surprise you if Clemson won it all?
  5.   THE Ohio St., Georgia, Michigan, and Central Florida are outside of the top four looking in.  The first three had their chances while UCF did not due to schedule strength.  Now that the yearly hype of “what if this” and “what if that” has died down, the playoff committee got it right.  The best four teams are in.  The next four are headed to nice bowls and nice paydays.
  6.  UCF rallied from a 38-21 halftime deficit to outgun Memphis 56-41.  The Golden Knights will carry the nations longest winning streak into the New Year’s Day Fiesta Bowl.  They stand at 25 wins in a row and counting.  Standing in their way from back to back undefeated seasons is another SEC bowl opponent.  Last year they beat Auburn.  This year they will face LSU.  Maybe UCF will hold yet another national championship parade for themselves.
  7.  The Oregonian’s John Canzano reported the Pac-12 spends $6.9 million per year to rent a lavish downtown San Francisco space.  By comparison, the SEC pays $318,000 in rent for its Birmingham, Alabama, offices.  Canzano described how the Pac-12 high command spent $3.1 million in expenses last year. The Big Ten spent $542,000.  How is the return on that investment going?  Well, the conference was not in the discussion for the playoffs.  The conference championship Friday night game was very poorly attended and the few that did show booed Larry Scott, PAC-12 commish, lustily.  Two loss Washington State got dispatched to the Alamo Bowl as three loss Florida was awarded the much higher payout Peach Bowl.
  8.  The annual post season coaching carousel has begun.  It doesn’t stop until the last musical chair is removed.  The annual coach speak is in full swing.  ” I have the only job I want.”  “I currently have no interest in…” “This is about this team and these kids- I love every one of them.”  ” I have not been contacted by anyone about that job.”  Then, poof!   As an aside, does Urban Meyer call it quits?  Colin Cowherd says that two sources have told him that it’s a definite “yes.”
  9.  How about Mack Brown and Les Miles?  Mack packed for North Carolina.  He last coached there in 1997.  He looked lost on the Texas sidelines in his last few years there.  He sounded lost on ESPN as a game analyst.  He found his way to his old home though.  The Les Miles experience landed in Kansas last week.   He looked lost on the LSU sidelines in his last few years there.  He sounded lost in his Kansas intro presser as well.  Brown and Miles join Herm Edwards and Bill Snyder as oldies but goodies on the sidelines next fall.  First one still coaching at 80 years of age wins.
  10.  Army v. Navy is this Saturday.  Army is favored by seven.  If they win it will be their 10th on the year.   They won 10 last year.  This would be the first time ever that they accomplished such a feat.  The Black Knights started playing football in 1891.
  11. (Plus One) The nation’s 41st Commander in Chief passed away last Friday.  George H.W. Bush will enjoy the great view from high above as his Army Cadets and Naval Midshipmen meet for the 119th time.

Embrace Family. Avoid Bullets.

When times are tough have you ever suggested that it was time to circle the wagons?  Or, maybe it got tough enough that you needed to rally the troops?  But, when the going gets really tough it might be time to gather the family.   Who can you count on more than family?  After all, “blood is thicker than water,” isn’t it?  What though is the origin of that phrase?

Meaning: Family comes before everything else
History: In ancient Middle Eastern culture, blood rituals between men symbolized bonds that were far greater than those of family. The saying also has to do with “blood brothers,” because warriors who symbolically shared the blood they shed in battle together were said to have stronger bonds than biological brothers.

Blood is indeed thicker than water.  But, unfortunately, when actual blood flows from one’s body it certainly can create an emergency.   Emergencies require prompt action.   Prompt action might have to be taken on the spot.  This situation might be so difficult that you might need to “bite the bullet.”  Why bite on a bullet?

Meaning: Accepting something difficult or unpleasant
History: There was no time to administer anesthesia before emergency surgery during battle. The surgeon made patients bite down on a bullet in an attempt to distract them from the pain.

Blood is thicker than water.  But, too much of it and you might need to bite the bullet.  Your family sure hopes not.

 

Abby Roux Takes Down Vegas Part X

College football’s conference championship week is upon us.   Rivalry week has come and gone.   It was a good one.  And it was a long one.  It was acutely long if you tuned into the 4 hour and 53 minute and 7 overtime Texas A&M victory over LSU.  That marathon was won by the slimmest of margins.  It also turned a promising start by Abby into the slimmest margin of defeat.  A very slim 1/2 point stood between her pawing out a win vs. taking a loss in that game and the week.

She heads into this weekend with a 20-21-1 won/loss record.  She remains on the high side having buried 54 of an even 100 bones.  The hunch bet stands at eight strong wins v. only one loss!  Championship week has several big dog v. big chalk games.   Abby normally likes big dogs but some look like runts of the litter to her.  Careful.

Washington -5 v. Utah –  Washington won this matchup in week four 21-7.  After a mid-season slide it seems like the Huskies might be peeking and playing up to their preseason expectations.  Utah has nine wins this year but none against ranked teams.  Plus Abby likes Huskies.  Two bones.

Oklahoma -8 v. Texas-  Texas won this matchup in a week six thriller 48-45.  Oklahoma has a playoff berth on the line.   Abby thinks Oklahoma wins and somehow gets a stop or two with their porous D and covers by just a few.  Three bones.

Alabama -13.5 v Georgia- Bama has beaten everyone senseless by 20 or more this year.  Why would this game be any different?  Well,  Georgia is basically at home.   But, Bama will travel big.  Georgia has the athletes to stay in it.  Regardless, Bama wins and covers by a few in their toughest test this year.  One bone.

Under 61.5 Michigan Ohio St v Northwestern.-  Ohio St. put their foot on the gas and mud stomped Michigan.  Abby likes THE to win this one easily as well.  But Northwestern plays decent D.   If Oklahoma wins convincingly over Texas maybe OSU loses a bit of interest.  Two bones.

On a hunch Abby likes under 77.5 in the Big 12 Oklahoma v Texas showdown.  The first game totaled 93.  The line seems like it’s begging you to take the over.  Abby, as you know, thinks begging is unbecoming of pure breds.

Woof!

 

 

 

 

Bet Against the Steelers When They Head West.

Some stats, when the body of work is accumulated over many years, are way more indicative of future performance than others.   The folks at Deadspin spun this very well done analysis of the Pittsburgh Steelers won/loss record when they travel west vs. when they don’t.  It compares their lack of success to other teams doing the same over a long period of time.

If you don’t want to read all of the meticulous detail, don’t.  Just be sure to bet against Big Ben and Company when they fly into the Mountain Time Zone and beyond.  The team’s performance, or lack thereof,  from the Chuck Noll era till now proves it.

Pop Goes the Geography Quiz

Do you remember just a few (or many) years ago when your teacher spoke the nine most dreaded words you heard that day?  “Today we are going to have a pop quiz.”  Remember what your (printable) reaction was?  Do “oh boy,” “jeez,” “gosh darn,” or even”dammit” or stronger come to mind?

Well it’s that time again unfortunately.  We have but one geographical question for you.  And it’s all centered around a tricky old world area.   Are you ready?

What’s the difference between England, Great Britain, and the United Kingdom?  Go ahead, admit it.  You’ve used them interchangeably at times and may not have been entirely clear on what distinguishes one from the other from the other.

First the easy part.  England is, well, England.  England is a country that is part of Great Britain as well as the United Kingdom. It shares land borders with Scotland to the north and Wales to the west.  England is separated from continental Europe by the North Sea to the east and the English Channel to the south.  Think London, the queen, Big Ben, Wimbledon, and parliament.

It gets a bit trickier from here.  Great Britain is the totality of the island mentioned above.  So, England, Scotland, and Wales comprise Great Britain and share the aforementioned borders.  With an area of 80,823 sq mi, it is the largest European island, and the ninth-largest island in the world.  In 2011, Great Britain had a population of about 61 million people, making it the world’s third-most populous island after Java in Indonesia and Honshu in Japan.

And finally, The United Kingdom is the combination of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  It’s been such since 1801.  It’s often simply referred to as “The UK.”  It’s actual name is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.   No wonder it’s called “The UK.”  The United Kingdom includes the island of Great Britain, the north-eastern part of the island of Ireland and many smaller islands.  It is a sovereign country unto itself.  It’s estimated population is 66 million as of 2011.

The Union Jack flag (which actually combines the three 19th century designs from England, Scotland, and Ireland) is the official flag of the UK since 1801.  Notably Wales is a part of the UK, but the flag was designed prior to its invasion and inclusion in the union.

You may be ready to wave the proverbial white flag after sorting through this.

Ready for the quiz now?  Jeez.

I Have Yet Another Story and a Moral Thereof

On November 8th, 1970 the New Orleans Saints were hosting the Detroit Lions in old Tulane Stadium.  The Superdome was little more than a hope and a dream at that point.  The Saints won/loss record was a disappointing 1-5-1 on the season.  Prior to this dismal 1970 start the franchise had set a record in its 1967 expansion season with the most first season wins ever with three against 11 losses (they only played 14 games back then) .  In 1968 they improved to 4-10.  And, in 1969 they improved yet again to 5-9.

The 1970 season was so disappointing that the owner, John Mecom Jr., fired the first and only head coach, Tom Fears, that they had after the weeks’ prior loss.  In walked J.D. Roberts to confidently take his place.  The only problem was that Roberts resume’ stalled out at the NFL linebackers coach level, and that was two years prior.  After that he was running the Saints farm team (they had such a thing at that time) for two years.  Think of it as a JV coach in high school perhaps?

If you need more evidence as to how shaky this hire was jump forward for a minute to 1971 when Archie Manning became a Saint via the second overall pick in the draft.   That fall, in Roberts first full season, he, Manning, and the Saints traveled for preseason game number one.   Manning recalled this first game ever, which brought the Saints to Buffalo to play the Bills and their celebrity running back, O.J. Simpson.  After Simpson ripped off a 30-yard gain, “J.D. turns to me and says, ‘I don’t know who that No. 32 is, but he’s a damn good-looking running back,'” Manning said. “I couldn’t tell if J.D. was serious or not. That’s the way J.D. was.  But I thought to myself, ‘Here I am in the NFL and our head coach doesn’t even know who O.J. Simpson is.'”

So back to Roberts fifth full day on the job, he jogged out with the Saints to take on the soon to be playoff bound Lions.  Boom Boom and I had tickets courtesy of one of the suppliers that sold to him, Mr. Harold Kataya.  We joined his group of many in their row 2 upper deck 40 yard line seats.  The game ebbed and flowed and with under 30 seconds left Detroit kicked a chip shot field goal to climb ahead 17-16.

The cocktails were flowing all game long in row 2 as well.  Getting booze into the stadium wasn’t a tough task back then.  Watching a team about to fall to 1-6-1 was a tough task and likely much more fun if your vision was a bit blurred.  Detroit was much better than the woeful Saints.  However, they too may have had a few on Bourbon St. the night prior for the game to be this close this late.

A decent kickoff return and one pass play later the Saints were down to the final two seconds and the ball was resting on their own 44.  Time out.   Out trotted the field goal special teams unit.  In 1970 the goal posts were still on the goal line (the safety of the players wasn’t quite what it is today).  This field goal, given the seven yard snap back to the holder, would be attempted from 63 long yards.

The Mighty “Half Boot” of Tom Dempsey

Boom Boom turned to me and said convincingly and quickly “Son, there is no way he can make this.  You realize that right?”  “I think he can Dad.”  “He” was Tom Dempsey the N.O. field goal kicker.  Tom Dempsey was born with no toes on his right foot and no fingers on his right arm.  He kicked with his right foot.  That’s right.  His specially made kicking shoe was squared and flat on the end.  Like almost all others then he kicked straight on, not soccer style like every kicker does today.

Alex Karras starred in Webster

The longest field goal ever made to that point was 56 yards.  It was made 17 long years prior in 1953.  One Lion, Alex Karras, then a pro bowler and later in life a TV game analyst/announcer and  sitcom actor, was said to have laughed out loud on the field that the Saints were even attempting such an absurdity.

The snap was fine and the hold was perfect.  As Dempsey put his half-foot into the ball the Lions made only a cursory attempt to block the kick.  The kick traveled from our left to our right.  Time stood still.  Eighty three thousand fans were silent as one.  The football flew.  And flew.  And flew.  And when it crossed over the bar with a good two feet to spare the referees came from beneath the goal post, arms risen in unison, signalling that the kick was good.  Good.  GOOD!

I looked wide-eyed at Boom Boom.  He jovially looked at me. “You were right, son!”  I jumped for joy.  He caught me, hoisted me higher, and we jumped even higher as one.  There was but one problem.  Boom Boom lost his balance.  At that split second my back was to the field.   We fell into row 1.  Half of my body was above the railing separating us from 40 feet of free fall into the lower section.  Thankfully all of his body was below the railing and he never lost his hold of me.  The hug was too tight and the joy was so right.

The Saints lost every other game that year to finish 2-11-1.  It mattered not to this then ten-year old.

It was the mighty boot of Dempsey that made the football fly! Two seconds left, it was do or die!  Those are the first two lines of the ballad later sung, recorded, and sold on a 45 rpm to commemorate the moment.  I got the 45 as a birthday gift and played the grooves off of it.

The moral of the story you ask?  Actually there are a few.  Enjoy every second.  Dream big.  Cherish great memories.  Oh, and don’t sit too close to the upper deck railing.

 

 

 

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-CFB

Week 13, aka Rivalry Week, provided all of the “wow factor” that week twelve, aka Yawn Week, lacked.  And better yet, like turkey, you got served portions Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.  The outcomes (one of which took 4 hours and 53 minutes) provided some clarity as to who might be in the playoffs, or bowling, or going home.  It also shook up the new AP Top 25 a bit.  On to the ten nuggets then, served one at a time.

  1.  Alabama actually looked mortal for the second week in a row heading into halftime again.  They led Auburn 17-14.  This allows sideline reporters to ask Nick Saban what is wrong with his team.  Saban so loves those interviews.  The unanimous no. 1 AP team disposed Auburn in the next 30 minutes winning 52-21.  How good is Bama?  They are the first team since Yale in 1888 to beat every regular season opponent by more than 20 points.  That was 130 years ago!
  2.  Clemson and Notre Dame remained nos. 2 an 3.  Clemson easily outscored South Carolina 56-35, while ND struggled somewhat (24-17) against a USC team that rallied a bit behind maligned Clay Helton.  Pittsburgh unranked at 7-5, and losers this past weekend to Miami, is all that stands in the way of Clemson’s ticket to the CFB playoffs yet again.   Nothing stands in the way of the Irish as they have no conference affiliation, hence no “extra” game win is needed to insure qualification.
  3.  Georgia eased into the fourth spot after beating the Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech.  They took Michigan’s place.  Georgia is only in a one week rental situation however as they have a date with Alabama Saturday in Atlanta.  Tinder was not involved.  Few expect the date to go well.  Bama, as previously mentioned, doesn’t hang close to anyone for very long.
  4. All Hail THE.  The Michigan drop from 4 to 8 was bought on by THE Ohio State University’s absolute demolition of the proud Wolverine team and its heretofore stingy defense.  THE QB Dwayne Haskins carved up the Mich D for 20-31, 396 yds., and 6 passing TD’s.  Harbaugh’s impersonation of Bo Shembechler isn’t going too well as he fell to 0-4 in this rivalry.  Harbaugh is the first UM coach to ever open 0-4 against OSU.  THE vaulted from 10 to 6 with the big win.  Urban’s suspension is long ago and all but forgotten.
  5. Oklahoma remains at no.5.  They outscored West Virginia in a “defense optional” game 59-56.  You cannot spell Oklahoma without starting with a capital O.   There is no D, capital or lower case, needed however.  The reveal of the playoff committee standings tomorrow night has intrigue starting right here.  If/when Georgia loses to Alabama are the Sooners in with a win over Texas this weekend?  Likely.  Does one loss THE have a say if they beat Northwestern in the Big 10 championship?
  6.  This brings us to what if Georgia, Oklahoma, and Ohio St. all lose their championship games.  It’s improbable but far from impossible.  Enter UCF into the dialogue for at least one more week.  They now sit at AP no. 7 and might have crept that far forward in the playoff rankings too.  We will know tomorrow.   Isn’t an undefeated UCF more worthy of a final four spot than any two loss team?
  7. Previous no.8 LSU fell four to no. 12.   Words don’t really describe how they lost Saturday night.  A season long (decade long) maligned offense scored 72 in 7 OT’s.  A season long (decade long) admired defense surrendered 74 to Texas A&M.  It’s the most points ever scored in a college game.  Ever.   The fourth down attempts, the fourth down conversions, replays, lack of replays, marginal penalties called, marginal no calls, and turnovers not turned over are downright staggering.  Jimbo Fisher had to work overtime (7 as mentioned) to earn a part of his 10 year 75 million dollar contract.  Four hours and 53 minutes after the workday started he cashed.
  8. Washington State fell hard as well.  They are tied for 12th with LSU.  Their playoff dreams vanquished as well losing to Washington in the Apple Cup.  The Cougars scored 69 a week prior drumming Arizona.  The Huskies stifled that high-octane O, limiting the mad scientist Mike Leach to a meager 15 points.  Washington vaulted all the way up to 10th.  Joining these two in the top 25 at 17th is Utah from the Pac 12.  The Utes are the only other rated PAC 12 team.  The PAC 12 nor Jim Mora want to talk playoffs.
  9.  The SEC has teams rated 1,4,11,12,16,20, and 22.  Eleven of the 14 teams will go bowling before they hang up their football helmets this year.  Tennessee, Ole Miss, and Arkansas are the only three that will sit in front of their flat screens to enjoy a bowl game.
  10.  Some early lines are out.  If Vegas is right (when aren’t they?) the conference championship games won’t provide too much final playoff position intrigue.   Oklahoma is -7.5 in their redemption rematch v Texas.  Alabama is -13 v. Georgia in the Georgia Dome.  Ohio St. is -14 v Northwestern.  And, Clemson is minus a whopping 25.5 v Pittsburgh.   However, Memphis played UCF closer than anyone since 12/2016 earlier this year.  UCF is only -3.5.   Lastly, the Friday night PAC 12 Championship (that has no playoff implications) that everyone will forget is on Friday night has Washington -4.5 over Utah.

 

 

Boom Boom’s Life Lessons #9

Did you participate in the mad dash for your cash called Black Friday?  In today’s world you can “save” money without out even getting in the car.   Retailers provide brick and mortar locations and virtual locations to entice you.

For your sanity we hope that if you did it did not involve any time on Thanksgiving Day itself, or waiting in line for a store to open, or a swift elbow to the ribs around a “sale” table, or a parking lot demolition derby.  If you did venture out, did you get what you needed?  Or, did you get what you wanted?

Apparently “The Dixie” only wanted, but did not need, a paint job.

Boom Boom directed the Purchasing Dept. for much of his 32 year career at Dixie Machine Welding and Metal Works.  He called it “The Dixie.”  If The Dixie was buying something, anything, his name was on the purchase order eventually.  He asked all who worked for him, “do we need this, or do we want it?”

Naturally this mantra permeated our family life.  If you asked for something, he asked “is this a need, or a want?”  If you didn’t answer correctly you had no shot of getting what you needed or wanted.  If you did answer correctly “wants” often went wanting.  In the mid seventies I wanted a pair of Adidas basketball shoes.  They sure looked like they could make me run faster and jump higher.  “Your Converse basketball shoes are fine.  You don’t need new shoes.  What are you going to do with two pairs of shoes that serve the same purpose?”

I suppose his upbringing through the Great Depression might have driven this careful thinking like other words of wisdom that he lived by and shared often.  Perhaps more people should live by them as well.  A recent survey details the utter failure of a prosperous generation of baby boomers to save enough money to afford retirement, much less enjoy it.  The survey details that an astonishing 80% of Americans aged 55 to 71 have not saved enough to retire.

In short, they “want” to retire, but they “need” to work.  The sooner one learns the want v. need lesson the better.

 

 

 

Lefty and Shorty Discuss Lefty and Tiger.

If Lefty and Shorty were still with us on Thanksgiving evening the night might have unfolded like this.

Lefty and Shorty sat quietly in the cool fall air.  It was nearly midnight and cars were nowhere to be found.  Lefty- Why do we stay open till midnight on Thanksgiving?  Shorty- So that we can discuss how Lefty is going to do Friday.  It’s a tall order.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.  Lefty looked confused.

Lefty- How am I going to do Friday? And, what do you know about tall, Shorty?  Shorty- No.  Not you Lefty, the other Lefty.  Phil Mickelson.

Lefty- Phil Mickelson?  What’s he doing Friday?  Shorty- Haven’t you heard?  He is playing Tiger Woods in a winner take all 18 hole match.

Lefty- I haven’t heard anything about it.   Shorty- Worse yet, it’s on pay per view.

Lefty- How much?   Shorty- It’s $19.95 per household for you, and it’s nine million bucks for one of them.  Lefty- Somebody must be paying to watch.  Shorty-  Tiger has been paying since Thanksgiving 2005 when his ex-wife swung that nine iron through his back window and he crashed into the tree.

Lefty-  When is the last time Phil won any money?  Shorty-  In Vegas? Every now and then.  In a card game?  Twice a week.  In the Ryder Cup?  Maybe 1999.

Lefty- I won’t tune in Friday.  Shorty-  I might tune up my 57 Chevy.

Lefty- What happens if they play and no one pays to watch?  Shorty-  They’re about to find out.  It works for the LPGA.