Author: boom booms room staff

Judging Baseball’s Approach

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Last night the injured, but still proud, New York Yankees beat the uninjured, but not so proud anymore, Boston Red Sox.  The 5-3 final completed a three game sweep over the listing 2018 World Series Champions.  “Get out da broomz and swept out da trash” in a heavy “New Yawk” accent could be heard from coast to coast.  You could have watched it from coast to coast too, if you chose.

But did you?  Did you watch?  Or did you watch an NHL or NBA playoff game last night?  ESPN (the worldwide leader in hype and chasing ratings) chose the Yanks v. Sox for their national broadcast last evening.  And they will again and again this year.  The combined win percentage last night entering the game of the two teams was 38%.

Many, many seasons ago, when there were but three TV channels and one game only shown in a week every Saturday that contest would not have seen the light of the afternoon day.  Tony Kubek is shaking his head, and Curt Gowdy would be if he were still alive today.

So, why then this game?  Simple.  Always follow the money.  The only way to sell Anhueser Busch on advertising Bud Light is to grab the best ratings that you can so as to have as many fans watch as you can so as to charge as much as you can for the spot.

But is it the best route for MLB?  Local money drives TV and radio which is why all MLB teams show and tell via that route throughout the season.  So, for ESPN, the best route is to get a blackout in the combined two biggest markets that evening to sell more beer.  So, why then this way? Simple.  Always follow the money.

But, we ask again.  Is it the best route for baseball and its national branding?  Perhaps.  Its 162 game schedule and summertime slot might dictate selling the local team story to locals and hope that the playoff matchups and teams whet the appetite to a greater audience.  But, would MLB have a greater audience if it told you and sold to you the upstart teams and their starts and year-long stories?

We wonder.  Tampa, Cleveland, and Houston lead the American League three weeks in.  Philadelphia, Milwaukee, and Los Angeles (Dodgers) lead the National League.  Throw out Houston (who won the WS in 2017) and Los Angeles (who won the NL pennant in 2017 and 2018).  Can the casual fan name two names off of the four remaining teams?

If you asked the same three weeks into the NFL season we bet you could name five or six Buccaneers, Browns, Eagles, or Packers per team.  The NFL released its schedule just last night.  The Browns drew four prime time national spotlight games.  Their record in the last ten years combined is the 2nd worst in the league.  But suddenly, due to an improving defense, and a strong off-season free agent acquisition plan they are a coming national story.  Oh, and there is OBJ too.

The NFL sells what might be, not what was.  The NFL sells teams, their players, their coaches, and their strategies.  They sell the thought that parity gives non contenders a real good chance to contend. The NFL is making A LOT of money. It made $13.8 billion in 2017.

MLB sells beer to the two biggest markets on a given week night.  MLB is making a lot of money too.  It’s revenue, with way more games played, was $10.1 in 2017 in comparison.  It’s expenses are far greater to get there as well.

NFL regular season games, when pitted against MLB playoff games, amazingly out draw them in the most important game; the ratings game.

We fully understand that the two business models have their own benefits and challenges.  We just think one could learn A LOT from the other.

Come On In, The Water Is Fine

Posted on by boom booms room staff

A whole flock of small rubber ducks just hit the river.  And, with it, the great race for 2020 has begun.  If you are watching it on TV it’s abundantly clear that the race downriver is from right to left.

The flapping, quacking, and invisible web-footed paddling is robust.  It’s about 20 such newbies or not so newbies all looking for the right current to power their way to the front.  What’s first prize?  It’s power in the race that wins the power out of the race.

There is but one problem.  By far the biggest and loudest quacker is, for now out front.

The biggest duck is none other than, ahem, Donald Duck.  As we breathlessly wait for the now neutered Mueller Report (less than 24 hours away) The Donald is swimming in fresher, clearer, and not so deep nor hot water.  Every opponent will have a staff member read the report and be able to find the worst moment and whale away.  This will last about 24 hours.  Then, reality will set in.  While they have had their scope sighted on the biggest duck for two years, they’ve shot blanks thus far.

So, then, what now a mere 17 months from the election?  Well, the swim to the hard left seems to be the rip tide of choice.  Remember a short three months ago when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez jumped in with the Green New Deal.  It seemed like a swimmingly good far left idea at the time.  Quickly, it’s been overtaken by paddling of cute orange feet even further to the left.

Good old Bernie Sanders, he of a few feathers missing on his crown, has one upped his desire for free college tuition with a proposed 52% tax take on the income rich.  When asked in a Monday night town hall if he and his $562k income of a year ago were ready to ante up, he went dead left and talked about Google and Apple, and other capitalistic successes not paying any taxes.  And, he called it criminal.  Silly us, we thought “criminal” was doing something against the law.  He said nada, or not a thing, about his willingness to go along with his own proposal.

The newest duckling, Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, Pete Buttigieg, told MSNBC’s Rachael Maddow last evening that this Electoral College thing, written into the Constitution by our founding fathers, was so yesterday.  And with that he shook his tail feathers and motored past the previous left.  He said, we paraphrase, that it no longer represents the true will of the United States.  We wonder how his friends and family from the great state of Indiana feel about his desire to minimize their voice?

And from the left coast, Northern California Congressman and now announced candidate as well, Eric Stalwell quacked loudest of all.  He declared that when elected he would push legislation to make all assault type rifles illegal.  He then swam into the deep, deep left side of the river by stating that if anyone refused to surrender their guns, they would be convicted of a crime and sent to prison.  To recap, he wants to make a legal part of the Second Amendment illegal and take away legally owned guns.  And, then he wants to convict those certain gun owners who won’t surrender them of illegal possession.  He suggested that other rifles and such only be stored in gun clubs, shooting ranges, and hunting clubs.   There is a duck hunting joke in here somewhere.

Our guess is that Joe Biden, who someone labeled as Creepy Uncle Joe, is waiting at a turn in the riverbank.  He is busy making sure his feathers can repel any water that his past might have taken on.   If he (when he) waddled in, the river’s course splinters.  With somewhat limited tact, he might find a different tack to the finish line.

With so many baby ducklings in the river, fresh air (time) and space (on the stage) to maneuver is tight.  The 17 month race is on. Soon enough Mother Nature will take its course and the flock will lose members.

And the mother of all ducks for now, Donald, will vigorously attempt to pluck what’s left (did you see what we just did?).

Meanwhile the race is on and the quacking is incessant.

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Multiple Sports

Posted on by boom booms room staff

It’s tasty Tuesday.  You’re hungry.  With the NBA playoffs, MLB off to a fine start, the Masters, and the NFL draft upcoming there is plenty to chew on.  Ten Nuggets await your consumption below.

  1. If you like Tiger or if not (and most do) you have to tip your golf visor his way.  Four back surgeries and two knee surgeries would derail anyone who is less than very determined to get to the top again.   One dozen or more affairs which drove one expensive divorce combined with those medical issues should derail anyone else.  Sunday, for 13 years, seemed so far away we’re sure.  It seems in America we love success stories.  We love to watch them fall hard.  And most of all we like a great comeback story.  Tiger provided all three and maybe there is more.
  2.  Some books have now posted odds on Tiger catching Jack’s 18 majors.  Tiger has 15.  Get your dollar out and win twenty back if you like his chances.  Many books took a bath in Tiger blood (where is Charley Sheen these days?) on Sunday.
  3. One dude, James Adducci, liked the action so much that he plunked down $85,000 on Tiger in the Masters.  He won over $1.2 million.  He claims that he’s never bet on ANY sports before.  His short story is linked here.  You ever heard of beginners luck?
  4. You might have already been night night on the east coast last evening when the west coast LA Clippers poured in 85 second half points on the Golden State Warriors in Oakland.  Trailing by 23 at halftime, and by as much as 31 in the third, the eighth seeded Doc Rivers led team won 135-131.  The 31 point comeback is the largest margin ever overcome in an NBA playoff game.  Doc was asked what he told his team at halftime. “That we were going to win.”  “I don’t know how.”  I guess “win one for the Gipper” was already taken.
  5. Rivers concluded his press conference by telling a story that happened on the streets of San Francisco (where is Karl Malden these days?) earlier that Monday. Reaching in his pocket to grab his phone he dropped $2,000 (don’t you carry that kind of walking around money?) out onto the street unknowingly.   A block further into his walk a man tapped him on the shoulder and said “I think this money is yours, you dropped it.”  If Doc plays the lotto this week and you can peek over that same shoulder to see the numbers, you should.
  6. Kevin Durant did his part in helping LA comeback recording a fat nine turnovers in the game.  All Star center DeMarcus Cousins very likely suffered a torn left quad early in quarter one for the Warriors as well.  It wasn’t a good night for the two soon to be free agents.  Given all of the turnovers, injury, and no defense played, it wasn’t a good night for Steve Kerr, Warriors coach, either.  If Steve plays the lotto this week, don’t peak over his shoulder.
  7.  The NFL draft is nine days away and counting.   The rumor mill of who, when, and where is heating up like the spring sun.  Expect one player to get attached to a false rumor about his off of the field behavior, or his terrible team interviews, or his drug use. Or, all three.  It happens every year.  When the inevitable happens he and his entourage (where is Jeremy Piven these days?) get to sit there and watch.  And watch.
  8. ESPN (the worldwide leader in hype) announced that Peyton Manning will be doing a multitude of historical, and slightly off beat features that shape the stories behind the stories that have made the NFL into the 100 year success story that it is.  One segment goes back to the breakfast table of the home where a box of Wheaties(where is Bruce Jenner these days?) is shaped into a prototype of what eventually became the Lombardi Trophy.  Peyton’s Places is the show’s name.  Sounds like it’ll be fun to watch.
  9.  In Little League you were taught to run every hit of every at bat out.  Let the umpire make the call.  Cincinnati Reds batter (Luis we think) Castillo stroked a clean single to right field.  Apparently he did not know it.  He was thrown out at first from RF.  The embarrassing video is right here.  We think it was Luis, but his jersey was #42.  He is listed on the official MLB roster as #58.  Maybe he put on the wrong uniform as well?
  10. One season ago The Boston Red Sox won it all.  Today they are 6.5 games behind the Tampa Rays.  The Tea Party(where is Lil Marco these days?) is forming in Boston.  At  six wins and eleven losses they are looking up at Tampa’s MLB best record of 12-4.  Tampa has already taken three of four from Houston among other early season trophies.  No need to panic yet Beantown.  But if the Rays pitching stays healthy, you might start soon.  Oh, and Tampa’s payroll is about 1/4th of the Sox’s.

Chow.

 

Crush is No Longer a Hit in Baltimore

Posted on by boom booms room staff

As we wrote Wednesday, the Washington Generals are off to a rough start with a won/loss record of 1-17,000.  It’s a winning percentage of roughly 0.0001 or one one hundredth of one percent.  But there is a certain 2019 major league baseball player who is actually off to a worse start.  Chris Davis, of the Baltimore Orioles is ohhh for his last 53 at bats.

Davis is nicknamed “Crush” Davis.  His 0-53 has now crushed the previous record for ineptness.  Earlier this week, Davis passed Eugenio Velez’s record of 46 straight hitless at bats, which had stood since 2011.  Dave Campbell, who parlayed his slump and playing career into a broadcasting career, went 0-45 many moons ago for three separate teams all in one season.   He and Craig Counsell are now tied for third in streaks you want no part of.  Counsell, who parlayed his slump and playing career into a managerial career (currently managing the Brewers) equaled that 0-45 in 2011.

Davis’ bat seems hopelessly broken.

If only 0-53 was the worst of his problems.  Davis set the record last year for the lowest average ever by a qualified hitter, crushing(not) it at .168. That’s one hit for every six at bats.    Under current rules, a player must have 3.1 plate appearances per team game for a total of 502 over a 162-game season to “qualify.”  One hit every three at bats, or twice as good, usually is at or near the league lead.  Davis hardly seems qualified to be called a qualified hitter.

In three-plus seasons since signing a seven-year, $161 million contract with the Orioles in 2016, his .199 average is the worst in baseball among players with at least 1,000 at-bats. His strikeout rate is a quite high 36%.  It all might be overlooked if he had game-changing power.  Davis doesn’t seem to have that anymore either.  His homer totals the last four years are a precipitously declining 47, 38, 26 and 16.

Shouldn’t this utter ineptness earn Crush a pink slip?  Yes.  There is but one problem.  Davis is still owed $23 million a year for the four years that remain. Every penny is guaranteed.

Perhaps he could be sent to the minors to work out the kinks?  He could be claimed him on the way down there.  If only the O’s could be so lucky. The percentage that anyone would claim him likely equals his 2019 average to date though.  That’s zero point zero zero zero.

Maybe he could be put in timeout?  He was iced down last year for 10 straight games.  How did that work out?

Crush says that he is open to anything to help him or his team.  One option is his outright release.  As crazy as that seems, it’s not unprecedented in today’s baseball.

However, in any day’s baseball, eating a $92 million Oriole contract is still a lot of crow.  Daily, the boo birds were feasting.  Even they have stopped picking at the carcass.  Encouraging standing ovations have replaced the howling.  Witchcraft anyone?

Poor Crush.

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-The Masters

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Hello friends.  Ten very quick thoughts on The Masters which begins its annual walk among the azaleas today.

  1.  It’s the most anticipated week of the year for golf purists.  Second place isn’t close.
  2. Anyone and everyone that has been shouts to those who have not, “you HAVE to go!”
  3. If Tiger is threatening on Sunday, the ratings will break a record.
  4. The field is deep and talented.  Pundits usually speak to a handful of possible winners.  This field is likely twenty plus deep in that regard this year.
  5. McIlroy is firing on all cylinders coming in.  He has to be the favorite.  If he closes the deal, he will be a quite young grand slam champion.
  6. Yesterday’s par three tournament is unique to golf like so many other Master’s traditions.  It never disappoints.
  7. Spieth, Watson, Fowler, and Reed are all VERY interesting stories for VERY different reasons this week.  Oh, the drama is thick.
  8. Will Fred Couples hit the leaderboard today and stay there till early Saturday?  Will the azaleas be in full bloom?
  9. Will his college roommate at the U of Houston, Jim Nantz, say “hello friends”  when he launches the broadcast?  Does a bear walk in the woods?
  10. How many hours will you watch?  Even if you aren’t a golf fan, this almost transcends golf.  One of our staff writers anticipates watching about 16 hours minimally.

Enjoy “friends.”

One Win and 17,000 Losses Makes Them Winners

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Yesterday, the disappointing, no playoff Los Angeles Lakers lost team president Magic Johnson, as he abruptly resigned.  Meanwhile, the perennially disappointing New York Knicks won their 17th regular season game to insure that they won’t set a single season record for futility even if they lose tonight’s season ending game.  But, if you are really talking about losses and futility, look no further than the Washington Generals.

Also known as the Boston Shamrocks(1971–1972), New Jersey Reds(1971–1972), Baltimore Rockets(1971–1972), Atlantic City Seagulls(1971–1972), New York Nationals(1995–2006), International Elite(2011–2012),  Global Select(2011–2012) , and the World All-Stars (2013–2014), the Generals are the all time losers.  To give the illusion that the Globetrotters play different teams they changed names and uniforms to be the best foil that they can be.

Depending on which version of history you believe they have only won one, or three, or six games while losing over 17,000.  The Generals exist primarily as a part of the Harlem Globetrotters’ act, effectively being stooges for them. While the Globetrotters play tricks and spectacular displays of skill for the crowd, the Generals appear to attempt to play a “normal” game of basketball.

Below are ten fun facts (their history isn’t perfectly nor completely documented) about the multi decade traveling show.

  1.  The Washington Generals were named so to honor Dwight D. Eisenhower.
  2. The Generals would rarely, but occasionally, play teams other than the Globetrotters. They beat the Taiwanese national team and a low-level Red Army team along the way.
  3. The Globetrotters official website only recognizes one loss.  That loss came in Tennessee at Tennessee Martin in 1971.  Even the date of the loss is disputed as either January 5th or 25th.
  4. The loss was mostly the result of an incorrect scoreboard that showed the Globetrotters winning by four with three minutes to play.  Thinking they had the game in hand, the Trotters were mostly running out the clock.  When they realized that they were behind, the clock operator stopped the clock to allow them one final shot as they now trailed by one.  The Generals allowed Meadowlark Lemon to dribble straight to redemption, but he missed the final shot.
  5. Some say that a pregame dispute between the two caused the Generals to play to win that evening vs “play along.”  Neither team has ever spoken in support or denial of that accusation.
  6. There have been a scant few, but still a few players who were once Generals that became Trotters and vice versa.
  7. One of the few was Paul Sturgess who made the opposite transition. The former Globetrotter, after a few seasons playing for other teams, transferred back into the setup as part of the arranged opposition. The 7 ft 8 in. Sturgess adopts the persona of “Cager”, a masked adversary who adopts a villainous role.
  8.  The Generals were created in 1952 by their owner, GM, coach, and player Red Klotz.  Klotz played into his fifties.  They were a part of the staged act until 2015 when the Globetrotters decided to end their long, long relationship.   Fans actually objected to not seeing the Generals.
  9. So, in 2017, Herschend Family Entertainment, the owners of the Harlem Globetrotters, bought the Washington Generals from the Klotz family and revived them as an active team with Kenny Smith as general manager.  Yep, that Kenny Smith.
  10. The night of the lone recognized loss it’s reported that many children in the crowd cried in disbelief.  Meadowlark Lemon, ever the showman, was furious about the loss.  It wasn’t the game loss that concerned him in all likelihood.  It was the loss of a cornerstone of the brand.  The brand never lost.

One game tears aside, the Generals have won for a long time by losing to the beloved Globetrotters.  Creating a winning show that has prospered for 65 years is no easy task.  Ask the Knicks who are way, way off-Broadway, thankfully.  Or, ask Magic who couldn’t work his magic where he was once the lead actor in the hit play Showtime.

I Have Yet Another Story and a Moral Thereof

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Michael Phelps was the third ever American athlete to capture gold in four consecutive Summer Olympics in the same event.  Carl Lewis became only the second American to do so from 1984 through 1996. He won nine golds in all, but four consecutively came from the long jump.  But do you know who the first American was to win and in what event in four consecutive games?  If you just said Alfred “Al” Oerter, Jr. and the discus throw, without googling it, go directly to the medal stand to collect yours.

Al Oerter began his Olympic career in the 1956 Summer Olympics in Melbourne.  As a not well-known underdog he threw a then career best 185 feet in the discus competition.  In 1960 Oerter set an Olympic record of 194 feet for his second gold.  In 1964, hampered by neck and rib injuries he skipped his last throw due to the pain but tossed his second one nearly 200 feet, good for gold number three.  In 1968, as a 32-year-old big underdog, Oerter came from well behind with a third and final hurl of 212 feet for his fourth and final gold.

His discus career had an almost mythical beginning.  While running on his high school track (Oerter began his track and field career as a miler), an errant discus, which weighs four and-a-half pounds, nearly hit him and fell nearby.  He tossed it back further than from where it came.  He immediately was asked by his coach to switch events.

After the ’68 games he retired to pursue life in the business world.  That world was not suited for him (especially the suit part) and by 1976 eyed a comeback in the sport he so loved.  He tried out for the 1980 Olympic team and threw a personal best 228 feet, but failed to qualify finishing fourth.  Amazingly, he was a young 43 years old then.

He also was suffering from high blood pressure that plagued him throughout his rewarding life.

Almost getting hit by the discus and suffering from high blood pressure were not known to this writer in 2003 when Al addressed a several hundred strong contingent of eager listeners, and told his remarkable story at our sales meeting.  His tale was riveting.  His passion pure.  His intensity extreme.  What was known was that a few social beverages consumed by a not to be named coworker and I prior to the speech made us thirsty for more as soon as another presenter stopped droning on post Al’s address.  Sitting by the back door of the amphitheater we bolted for the post meeting poolside party bar.  Beverages secured, we saw Al ready to mingle with the masses.

“Let’s go talk to him.”  “Sure, what to say?”  “Come on, we’ll think of something.”   Al was sweating profusely in the night air.  Blood pressure was the culprit, I suppose, now that I know.  After a quick bit of small talk (and a bit more of our refreshments) about how great the speech was and how proud he must be, I decided I had to ask.  “Al, you’ve seen the video of that guy running track that accidentally gets skewered by the javelin throw?”  “Huh?”  “You know, like the thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat?”  He nodded affirmatively in silence, but with a furrowed brow.

“Well,” I went on.  “Well I was just wondering if you ever hit anyone about the cranium with the discus when you were practicing.”  “Are you serious?” He asked with some anger.  “Um, yes.”  “I traveled all the way to this meeting for you to ask me that?”  He seemed to not like my question much at all.  “Um, yes.”  “NO!”

With that Al turned faster than the whirl of a good discus throw and was off to talk to some other folks that might hold his interest and slow his escalating heartbeat.  Who knew?  Not I.  Well, it was time to head to the bar for another.  Maybe you “had to be there,” but at the time it was funny as hell.

Al died four years later in 2007, at a too young 71, of cardiovascular disease.  He refused a suggested heart transplant telling doctors that he “was going out with what he came here with.”

Oh.  What’s the moral of the story?  It probably is important to know your audience before you address them.

He did.  I did not.

 

 

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-April Madness

Posted on by boom booms room staff

The madness that was March Madness didn’t disappoint due to the calendar turning the page to April.  We have a few nuggets for you to chew on prior to tonight’s final.

  1.  Saturday, in The Final Four matchups, upset minded and upstart Texas Tech stymied a darn good Michigan State team.  Meanwhile, Virginia squeezed by upstart and upset minded Auburn.  The field of 64 narrowed to 2, and tonight it’s down to the one who gets the scissors to cut down the twine.
  2. Virginia is a slight 1 and 1/2 point favorite if you like a wager.  Or, you could place $100 to win $110 on Texas Tech on the money line while Virginia costs you $130 to win $100.  Hmm.  What to do?  What to do?
  3. One bettor has a YUGE (thanks Donald) “what to do?” themselves.  He or she put $1500 on Texas Tech to win it all back in November.  The fat odds then were 200-1.  The potential payday is 300k.   Here is the story.  And, here is the dilemma.  If you have come this far, do you let it ride?  It’s 300k or nothing.  Or, do you hedge the bet?  Maybe you bet 100k on Virgina on the money line tonight.  If you don’t have 100k in loose change stuck in the sofa cushions, you could always borrow it from friends and pay them back plus a bit of the haul.  That would insure a 100k payday at a minimum if Virginia wins, or a 200k payday if Texas Tech wins.  Common sense says that you have to hedge.  Of course, common sense says that $1500 on Texas Tech in November wasn’t using a lot of common sense either.
  4. Common sense also says that Virginia beat Auburn 63-62 in the last second fair and square.  Conspiracy theorists disagree and at least one Auburn fan disagrees.   His feelings poured out right after the game and right at the refs.  You can see the short clip here. But turn down, way down, the volume if you are at work.
  5. If you think that the refs collectively followed some mysterious guidance from the NCAA to get the “blue bloods” into the finals as some have mentioned, we have a question or three for you.  Was the whole game tilted that way, or just the no call double dribble against Virginia and the three-point attempt Auburn foul call?  Why did the NCAA “allow” Texas Tech into the grand finale?  Why not fix that game too?  And, lastly, do you believe that one of the three shots that Lee Harvey Oswald took really came from a sharp shooter behind the grassy knoll?
  6. Speaking of sharpshooters, how about that Guy?  Kyle Guy that is.  Kyle was fouled (per the maybe crooked, maybe biased refs) and very calmly sank three straight free throws, the last of which was taken after a timeout aimed at icing him.  He iced the game for Virginia instead.  Ten years from now you can ask, “Do you remember when that guy hit those three last second free throws to win that game over Auburn?”  Then you can ask what was that guy’s name?  Don’t be that guy.
  7. Is there any hypocrisy in Auburn yelling about cheating?  Watching Bruce Pearl bounce up and down the sidelines after the foul call in disbelief about the refs ruling was just a tad of karma.  Bruce has been accused a time or three of cheating, too, we seem to recall.  One of his Auburn assistants plead guilty in the NCAA/FBI investigation while another was just suspended on March 13th.  He will remain sidelined (not on the sidelines) while the probe into his alleged involvement in a bribery while at Penn U. is investigated.  His acts at Penn might put him in the pen too.  He needs a good defense attorney.
  8. Speaking of good defense, The Red Raiders of Texas Tech play some.  Don’t take our word for it, ask Michigan State.  Or, ask any other team that they have faced in this tournament.  The over/under line for tonight is 118.5.  It’s the lowest point total for a final in 20 years.  Who says defense doesn’t win championships?
  9. Dick Vitale picks Virginia to win it all in a close, low scoring defensive struggle.  Shocker.  Him taking the blue blood team, taking the chalk, and predicting low scoring isn’t exactly groundbreaking.  Dick was once, and for a long time, a breath of fresh air in the gym.  Now, his rhetoric is tired.
  10. We’ll take Texas Tech and over 118.5.  If you haven’t heard, we like to zig when others zag.

Enjoy the final.  You’ll be watching it.  So will Bruce Pearl.  Isn’t karma a beeotch?

Lefty and Shorty Talking Baseball, Sorta

Posted on by boom booms room staff

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Lefty and Shorty were all but ready to close the Gulf Oil gas station last evening.  The Gulf of Mexico has spoken.  The early spring, humid, steamy air descended on the quiet evening.  Midnight neared and cars were nowhere near.  Lefty- Why on earth do we stay open this late on a Thursday night?  Shorty- So that you and I can talk sports.

Lefty sat to the left of Shorty.  Imagine that.  Shorty sat on the shorter of the two “halves” of the 55 gallon drum. Imagine that.  Each were cut down to size and retrofitted with a soft cushion top.

Lefty- Can you believe the slow start for New York, Boston, and Houston?  Shorty- Everyone knows the Knicks stink.  Lefty– What?  Shorty- But, Boston and Houston are good.  They clinched a playoff berth.  Lefty- I’m talking baseball. The season just started. All three are Vegas favorites.  Shorty- Oh.  Baseball?  Nobody cares about baseball this early.  Lefty- I care.  Shorty- Tampa is in first and nobody knows one player on their team.  Lefty- Snell.  Shorty– Smell what?  Lefty- Blake Snell, the pitcher for Tampa.  He won the Cy Young last year.  Shorty- That’s one.  Name another.  Lefty- I can’t, but isn’t it interesting that they sometimes pitch their staff backwards.  Shorty- Backwards?  That must hurt.  No wonder no one goes to their games.  Lefty- No! No!  They sometimes start their closer, and close with their starter.  Shorty- Sounds weird.

Silence fills the still night for a moment as Lefty shakes his head and tries to regroup.

Lefty- So, who is going to win the MVP race?  Shorty- Harden.  Lefty- You mean Harper?  Shorty- Harden.  Lefty- I’m still talking baseball.  Harper just got traded to the Phillies.  Shorty- Why?

Lefty-Have you heard of Abbott and Costello? Shorty- Yes.  They are Lefty and Shorty wanna be’s.  Lefty- Have you heard of Who’s on First?  Shorty- On first?  Where?  I don’t know.  Lefty- No, he’s on third.

Shorty- Be sure to lock up.  I going home to catch the Harden highlights on ESPN unless they are talking about LeBron and his groin injury.