Author: boom booms room staff

Need a Haircut?

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Meet Shelley Luther.  She very politely refused to apologize for reopening her North Dallas hair salon.  The judge sentenced her to seven days in jail and a $7,000 fine.

Technically she didn’t break a law.  She refused to obey an executive order.  Then she opted for jail rather than apologize.

This is where we are in America today.  It’s even more shocking that this happened in Texas, and in Dallas.

You can go to a liquor store and practice social distancing, but apparently, if you go to a nail salon you don’t yet know how to do so.

But wait, you beg, “we have to do this because some people might get sick.”  Who said that you have to go to the nail salon? No one.  It’s the ones that said you have no choice that are worrisome.

Small, individually owned, clothing stores have been shut down for two months.  Walmart has been selling groceries(essential) and $14.99 slacks made in China(let that sink in) for those same two months.  One is essential.  The other not.

It’s your individual choice.  It’s your right to go or not to go just like it’s your right to stand in line to buy beer.  If you can stand six feet apart for a badly needed six-pack, you can sit six feet apart for a badly needed trim.

This judge could have easily chosen a less ridiculous route.  It’s all about power, and therefore control.   If you have the power, you have the control.

Her explanation was her desire to feed her kids and pay her employees.  Now she’s out another 7k.  A GoFundMe page has already started for her.  Our guess is it’ll top 100k by end of the day today.

And, that is a good thing to help offset a dumb thing.

If this were an isolated incident it would be one thing.  It’s not.

Stop giving up your rights.  It’s your right.

Let’s Hope So.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Yesterday CNN ran a story that we feel has not gotten near enough attention.  For our sake, we hope it isn’t as Donald Trump labels it, “fake news.”

We quote CNN.  “373 employees and contract workers at Triumph Foods in Buchanan County, Missouri, have tested positive for coronavirus. All of them were asymptomatic, according to a press release from the Missouri Department of Health and Senior Services.”

Testing at the plant began last week with results coming in over the past few days, the release from DHSS said.  As of April 30, at least 1,500 had been tested, a previous release said.  A first test a week earlier of 707 of the now nearly 1500 resulted in 92 asymptomatic positives.
So what does this all mean?  We hesitate to speculate as there are no health care professionals on BBR’s burgeoning staff, but we will anyway.  The ball bounces a bit below, but stay with it.
1.  In a week’s time the positives went from 92 of 707 to now 373 of 1500.  That’s a pretty aggressive acceleration.
2.  Yet every one of them, we repeat, EVERYONE of them, are asymptomatic.
3.  This almost seems impossible.  373 people of various ages, races, gender, and health conditions, all living near each other are positive asymptomatic.  Unless it isn’t impossible.  And, let’s assume for a minute that it isn’t.
4.  If you believe the CDC’s RO, (pronounced r naught) a mathematical term that indicates how contagious an infectious disease is for Coronavirus, then you can buy into the rapid spread in a contaminated closed environment where many come together.  It’s unfortunately why nursing homes and hospitals are incubators for it.
5.  So, how many other environments that are similar have had a similar spread?  We won’t know that of course until tests are repeatedly and readily available.
6.  But, strong logic would make an argument that its more than a few and likely way more than a few.
7.  So, how many Americans are positive and were asymptomatic in the past or present?  As stated above, we won’t know that of course until tests are repeatedly and readily available.
8.  So, now go back to the first documented case to hit American soil.  On January 19, 2020, a 35-year-old man presented to an urgent care clinic in Snohomish County, Washington, with a 4-day history of cough and subjective fever tested positive.  He wasn’t asymptomatic.  But how many before him were?  We’ll never know.
9.  But if 373 and counting can all hand it off to one another asymptomatically, how many handed it off prior to the above positive symptomatic case?  We’ll never know.
10.  Which begs the question?  How many people in America today are positive?   If you buy into the snowball downhill theory loosely outlined above it could be many.  It could be many as in tens of millions.  Are we speculating?  Yep.  That makes us almost as accurate as the experts it sadly seems.
Dr. Deborah Birx, the U.S. coronavirus response coordinator, dropped the following comment on Fox News on Sunday.  “I think we underestimated very early on the number of asymptomatic cases,” Dr. Birx said. “And I think we’re really beginning to understand there are people that get infected that those symptoms are so low-grade that they don’t even know that they’re infected.”

So if you’ve bought in this far, we have but one more small leap of faith to ask.  How immune then is the herd at this point?  Probably way more than we realize.

Nearly 70,000 deaths in the U.S. is nearly 70,000 deaths too many, make no mistake.  Of course, we hope that the CDC has made no mistake when counting as well.

The country is “reopening.”  If the asymptomatic headcount is way higher than thought maybe the “second wave” or “next spike” will be far less than even the most optimistic projections.

Let’s hope so.

 

Ten Piece Nuggets-Life

Posted on by boom booms room staff

As society wonders about what it’s future will look like, we decided to serve you ten nuggets as we wander around in life as we know it today.  They’re scattered about your plate randomly, but give us a break.  They’re tasty as always.  We don’t upcharge for home delivery.  And, most restaurants are still closed.

  1.  Did you know that Jeffery Epstein had a private office on the Harvard University campus?  Harvard reportedly gave Epstein his own office on campus in exchange for almost $10 million in donations he gifted to the university between 1998 and 2007.
  2. He was convicted of underage sex crimes in 2008. Epstein reportedly visited the campus more than 40 times after being released from jail in 2010.   Money talks and Harvard apparently is always listening.  Harvard University President Lawrence Bacow said in September of 2019 that the Ivy League institution feels “regret” accepting nearly $10 million in gifts from Jeffrey Epstein.  Regret?  What a heartfelt response.
  3. The Harvard University endowment (valued at $40.9 billion as of 2019) is the largest academic endowment in the world.  Might they consider a $10 million dollar gift to some worthy institution that combats crimes against children, especially sex crimes?  Probably not it seems.
  4. Harvard University will receive nearly $9 million in aid from the federal government through the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security Act, the Department of Education announced last week.  The amounts vary, but almost every school across the land received some as well.  Might they consider a $9 million dollar gift to some worthy institution that combats crimes against children, especially sex crimes?  Probably not it still seems.
  5.  Madam Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi remained comfortably ensconced in her posh northern Cali home last week.  With so many ice cream flavors to choose from who could blame her.  She blocked the House’s attempt to vote remotely on matters before them citing concerns that it would not be a safe way to do so.  Meanwhile, she has been a loud proponent of vote by mail in the upcoming November 3rd general election. Hmm.
  6.  How do you justify a stance that is opposite of a stance on a very similar subject as she does above?  It’s really not that hard for some.  Take Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer.  Please.  “Just because you’re a survivor doesn’t mean that every claim is equal,” she told CNN. “It means we give them the ability to make their case, and the other side as well, and then to make a judgment that is informed.”  Whitmer is apparently an expert on how Tara Reade’s claim of sexual assault differs from Christine Blausey Ford’s claim against the now Supreme Court Judge Kavanaugh.
  7. How does Whitmer find the time to be so well informed on so many subjects given her pressing need to manage Michigan’s coronavirus situation?   Easy.  She just locked down the state another two weeks through May 15.   “Whether you agree with me or not, I’m working to protect your life if you live in the state of Michigan,” Whitmer said, defending her stay-at-home order that extends through May 15. “We’re going to listen to facts and science because we’ve got to get this right.”
  8.  It can’t be lost on anyone at this point that, in general, Republican governors are relaxing restrictions in their states while Democrat governors are extending restrictions.  The original idea was to flatten the curve.  What is it now?  What does an additional two weeks closure do?  Did those same “facts and science” tell you to close down two weeks earlier before Detroit became a hotspot like few others?  And, do you need to treat rural counties the same as metro Detroit?
  9. No one is forced to go into a restaurant.  Individualism and human rights are getting lost in the cause.  And the cause now has blurred lines.  You can wait until a vaccine is available if you wish.  It’s your right.  Several viruses to this day have no vaccine.  It’s still your right.  Does the government attempt to make you more dependent or independent?
  10.  Meanwhile, the NFL continues to have the only “live” sports news worth talking about.  Fresh off of blowout record TV ratings for their draft last week, they will release their regular season schedule this week.  Its plan is to start on time in early September as usual and end as usual in early February with the Super Bowl.  They have contingency plans too, of course.  ESPN estimates that the absence of sports since March will erase at least $12 billion in revenue and thousands of jobs. That total will more than double if college football and the NFL don’t play this fall.
  11. (Lagniappe)  Kim Jung Un is the modern-day North Korean version of Mark Twain.  Rumors of his death were greatly exaggerated. “I, for one, am glad to see he is back, and well!” Trump tweeted.  Whoever coined the phrase “politics makes for strange bedfellows” was prescient.

Cinco de Mayo is but 24 hours away!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Say What?

Posted on by boom booms room staff

It’s Friday.  Another week of sheltering in place, whatever that means these days, has nearly passed.   It means another week of no sports has nearly passed too.  We miss sports.  We miss sports characters too.  With the help of a valued reader, we dug up some colorful quotes from some colorful sports characters.  A baker’s dozen follow.

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
    “I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.”

2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
    “I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first..”

3. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
    “He treats us like men. He let us wear earrings.”

4. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
   “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” (a follow-up appearance was deemed necessary)

5. Senior, unamed, basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
    “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes..”

6. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
    “You guys line up alphabetically by height..” and “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”

7. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
   “Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ..”

8.  Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
     “He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”

9. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
    “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.

10. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
   “I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
   He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.'”

11. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D: (NOW THIS IS FUNNY)
    “Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

12. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
    “I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”

13. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
   Phillips responded: “Because she’s too ugly to kiss goodbye.”

Goodbye till Monday.

 

 

 

 

Zoom this!

Posted on by boom booms room staff

The BBR staff is offsite today enjoying a rigorous, but fun, team-building exercise.  We decided as a group that these difficult times no longer need to be so difficult.  Today we reacquaint ourselves. Tomorrow we come together at work in our good old sanitized world headquarters office.  Together.  Not apart.  

Therefore, today’s pearls of wisdom will be short.  We have but a few thoughts and questions.

To those that are screaming that you can’t do anything until we can test everyone, are you going to test everyone every day?  Otherwise, yesterday’s test isn’t worth the swab that went up your nose.

To those that are screaming that we can’t move until we have a vaccine, are you actually going to get the vaccine?  What if one never comes?

To those that say it’s too soon, when is it not too soon?

When was it not a good idea that if you are sick to stay at home?

When was it not a good idea to cover your mouth when sneezing or coughing?

When was it not a good idea to wash your hands regularly?

Most of us would like to have been six feet or more away from most of our coworkers every day prior to this anyway.

If you’re going to a restaurant this weekend you can go to work Monday.

It’s our “new”  new normal.

Pivot this! 

And while you’re at it, Zoom this!

 

 

The NYT Said So.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

You’ve heard of Tara Reade by now, haven’t you?  Reade has leveled serious sexual assault allegations against Joe Biden.  She was a former Congressional staff member of his and claims that he assaulted her back in 1993.

In recent weeks her willingness to amplify the claim has gained some steam as a video of her mother calling into the CNN Larry King show back then with a veiled accusation that fits the allegation and timing has surfaced.  Additionally, a couple of her friends have spoken on the record saying that Reade extemporaneously confided in them about the incident back then.  She has even asked Biden to release all of his files from that time period.

The Trump labeled “failing” New York Times investigated and wrote an extensive piece on it.  Their conclusion?  They found no evidence that Biden had done any such thing.  Wonders never cease.

And, now it just got more serious.  The Trump labeled “fake news” CNN devoted a total of 14 minutes and 54 seconds of air time to the developing story so far.  That’s 15 minutes and 54 seconds more air time than ABC and NBC combined have spent on it.  And, it’s 13 minutes and 51 seconds more than CBS has spent on it as well.  But, it’s gaining oxygen.

The DNC circulated talking points on the accusation to operatives weeks ago.

Stacey Abrams, who lost a race for Governor of Georgia, used them by the book last evening.  On CNN’s Don Lemon show she said that every woman needs to be heard.  She said every allegation needs to be investigated, and that the NYT did so, and that they found nothing.  She said that she believes in Joe Biden.  She said, she said, she said.  She didn’t say that she is or wants to be on a shortlist for his VP nominee.  But, she either is or wants to be.

Hillary Clinton, no stranger to knowing people who have been accused of unwanted advances outside of marriage, endorsed “maybe not so sleepy back then” Joe Biden just yesterday.  She believes women should be heard and should come forward.  Jennifer Flowers, who she labeled as a “bimbo,” would be one exception.  It seems like Ms. Reade is at least the second one.

#metoo is #mia.

Does the DNC care?  Sure it does.  It went all-in on Joe Biden as the most likely candidate to defeat Trump.  That is the entire objective regardless of who gets to call the White House home.  Don’t believe that?  Ask Bernie and a host of minions that fell in line behind Joe as the nomination process’ orchestrated collapse went down with an assist from the enemy that no one can see.

Congress cannot investigate Biden on this as he isn’t in public office.   But the police can.  Reade filed a report last week in DC about the 1993 alleged incident.

If Congress could, would it be as diligent as they were for Judge Kavanaugh?  Christine Blasey Ford had to be believed a host of Democrats said.    Blasey Ford was labeled as courageous.  As of now, no one from the left has come out in support of Reade’s bravery.  Reade hasn’t been labeled yet, but we trust one is in the works.  The war on women works in mysterious ways.

Assuming Biden soldiers on, his VP choice, given his age and declining cognitive ability, is an important one.

Is it a bit odd that months ago he announced that if he got the nomination his VP choice would be a female?  Pandering much?

A few months back Biden apologized for all of his actions saying “personal space is important, and I get it.”

Case closed?  Not yet.  It actually was just opened.

 

 

Everybody Ready? Here We Go!

Posted on by boom booms room staff

America, have you heard?  We got a brand new dance and it’s called the herd(back in the day it was called the bird.)

The herd is a bit different.  It’s easy to learn.  It’s one step forward and two steps back.  Then it’s two steps forward and one step back.  And, it’s all done at a socially responsible six feet from your dance partner.  You never heard of it?  No one had until about March 1st.  Then it became all of the (out) rage in our country.

Quickly it became such a hit to us that the DJ started spinning the vinyl daily at about 6 pm EST.  That DJ is grandmaster Donald J.  While America danced the mostly liberal media sat in press conference chairs, looking like wallflowers, and asked why we shut down travel to China.  Xenophobes all. Then they asked why didn’t we shut down the country sooner.  Then they asked where the ventilators were.  How about masks for the party too?  One forward, two back.  That’s it.

And soon the music all but stopped.  The herd was barely heard from.  Shelter in place.  We need to get to herd immunity or we’ll thin the herd more than we’d like. Back, back, back.  That’s it.

A few weeks back America wanted to dance again.  Trump said one forward too soon.   Fauci said one back for now.

Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer (D) took the party favors and hid them.  She said no dancing at all till she says dancing at all. She may have two left feet.

Georgia Governor Brian Kemp(R) said let’s open.  Trump said the first step should be slower.

Harris County Texas (read as Houston) Judge Lina Hidalgo(D) said masks for all starting this week or we’ll charge you a steep cover charge for no face cover. Texas Governor Greg Abbott(R) said feel free to show your face any time and any place.  One forward and one back.  That’s it.

The herd is rapidly developing its own mentality from coast to coast.  We want to dance again and we want to do it now.

But we wonder.  Is the herd getting replaced by a line dance forced on us by the “experts” in the government?  You can almost hear  “to the left, to the left, to the left” for part of the song, then “to the right, to the right, to the right”  for another part.

Even DJ Trump wondered aloud yesterday if his headset, turntable, and vinyl are worth trudging out to the White House Lawn Party every day anymore.

The wallflower press is still there.  They hate to dance.  They want to report on all of the wrong turns and missteps made on this the largest stage of them all.

But, you may have heard of the “herd mentality.”  It’s getting out of its chair and headed to the dance floor.  Ain’t no stopping us now.

Come on Chuck, ask Nancy to dance.

Whawk! Hallelujah! Whoa.
Whawk! Hallelujah! Whoa.

 

Together. Apart. Enough.

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Together.  Apart.  We are a family.  We’ll get through this.  Thinking of you during tough times.  Together.

The emails started it.  Now the tv commercials are overrun with it.

Today’s ad agencies sure do have a herd mentality.  Because of that maybe some will fall victim to the thinning of the herd as the economy recovers.  Queue the soft caring music while we deliver a soft and caring message.

Some of the below are real.  Some you can imagine.  We can’t imagine why some are real.  Enough already.

REAL

Burger King

They have a real one.  “Stay Home of the Whopper.”  They are waving their delivery fees right now and they are giving a free Whopper to over 250,000 nurses.  If a Burger King delivery van pulled up in front of your house would your neighbors still talk to you?  And, can you use the words “health care” and “Whopper” in the same sentence with a straight face?

CARMAX

A forgettable car commercial is offering interest-free loans for up to 84 months.  With interest rates nearly zero percent, what are they offering?  Nothing.  Also, you can have curbside pick up.  Skip the test drive, we’ll be sure this car is running great for you.  Can’t you close your eyes and picture Chevy Chase picking up the “family truckster” for the coast to coast Vacation?

Verizon

Verizon “wants you to know during these tough times that “we’re one phone call away.”  Thank goodness.  Can’t you hear it now?  “During this COVID-19 crisis, Verizon is experiencing an unusually high volume of calls.  Your expected wait time is 42 minutes.  Or, if you prefer, please leave your number and a brief message and we’ll be sure to have someone never call you back.”  Queue the terrible “on hold” music.

United Airlines

“Because we are all in this together.”   Really?  Two months ago when my luggage weighed 52 pounds I was on my own.

 

IMAGINED.

Weight Watchers.

Are you struggling with a few extra pounds from being housebound?  We’ve been flattening curves for over 50 years.   Special note-Tampa residents you can get your first week of meals free just like our schools do year-round.

NFL.

We believe in social distancing.   In fact, our rules have insured social distancing by defensive players from our quarterbacks for years.  Apart.  Forever.

Nine Lives Cat Food

Time to take advantage of one?  Enough said.

China

We are the manufacturer and supply chain leader to the world.  What you need when you need it.  And what you don’t need when you don’t want it, too.  Together, unfortunately for us.

Camel (unfiltered).

Time to burn one?  Why not?

Planters

Let our experience going nuts help you through yours.

Life Cereal

Do you even have to ask?

Charmin

We’ve missed you.  Have you missed us?

Hallmark 

We’ve been writing these syrupy hollow lines on cards for years.  Thinking of you during these times.

 

Time for a Zoom meeting.  Friday is only four short days from now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No Respect Even Way Back When

Posted on by boom booms room staff

Last week we lightened it up a bit on Friday.  The audience was howling in the aisles.  We offered a few examples of how tough life would have been for Rodney Dangerfield to have lived through these times.

Are you kidding?  It was tough to be Rodney during “normal times.”  A dozen examples of how tough it was to get respect way back when are below.

  1.  I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
  2.  I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  3.  I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
  4.  My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
  5. This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
  6. My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”
  7. A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!
  8. If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.
  9. I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
  10. I went to see my doctor.  I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”
  11. What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
  12. I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

    Unless it’s the NFL Draft turn off the TV.

 

 

E Learning Leads to E Commerce

Posted on by boom booms room staff

The BBR staff consumed adult beverages during a Zoom virtual happy hour last evening.  While doing so it kicked around potential topics for this morning’s article.

One drink led to another.  We had almost decided that it was time to lower the boom on Zoom.  Our business section editor was going to wax eloquently about how there “are people who work, and there are people who get things done.”  She was going to suggest that you get out of the virtual meeting place (isn’t it just a water cooler right in the middle of Al Gore’s internet anyway?) and spend some time strategizing, writing a to-do list, sending a handwritten note to your favorite customer, etc.

Then someone extolled the virtues of it and asked: ” yes, but where would our educational system be without it right now?”  Everyone took a stab. “Good point.”  “Hmm.”  “Let me Google search ‘education news, Zoom, and success.'”

What popped up?  Hillsborough County Florida popped up.  Except it wasn’t about success.  It was about excess.  The county, ever concerned about nutritious meals for its “young uns” doles out “free lunches” for its students.  Who knew that in home schooling didn’t also mean in-home meals?   Drive your car to the drive-through location, wait in line, get handed a bag of food.  It sounds a lot like McDonald’s, except for the ” drive to the first window please” for payment.

“We want to make sure that children actually get the nutrition they need to be successful during the e-learning process,” said Hillsborough Schools Superintendent Addison Davis.

“We had some individuals who made undesired behaviors last week, but we stand ready with new organizational controls you know hats off to operations and the IT department for helping us with this process,” said Hillsborough Schools Superintendent Addison Davis.  Good thing Mr. Davis is a superintendent and not an English teacher during this e-learning process, or any learning process for that matter.

District officials found parents selling the food online and parents who had the food stockpiled in their cars.  Did anyone go to jail?  We digress.

Parents now have to provide their child’s name and school ID number before they can pick up food, and they are not allowed to pick up more than once.  Those are smart thinking additions to the program.  Would it be cheaper to just give them some money?  It would be more efficient, too.  Or, what if the parents actually fed their kids?

So let’s review in an e-learned sort of way.  The government takes in tax dollars.  They use some of it to pay teachers to do their job.  They also buy lunches with it for kids.  They give lunch away.  Parents steal “free lunches.”  Parents sell the food online.  That last step is actually e-commerce.

Maybe there is no such thing as a free lunch, especially if you buy one online.