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They’re All in Line!
All four horses have now reached the starting gate. Pop! Off goes the starter’s pistol. And, they’re off!
It’s a sloppy start on a long track.
Walz the gelding breaks dead to the left. Mare Harris, often confused for a hyena, steadies along the rail.
Colt Vance wobbles weirdly before steadying. Trump the stallion, who probably should have been gelded, tries to find and refine his stride.
Harris now runs stride for stride. Walz entering the race has boosted her campaign and spirits. Honeymoons do that. Then reality sets in.
Some polls show she leads. The trip from a yearling that no one wanted to favored like Secretariat has been swift. Are they bought and paid for?
As they reach the backstretch RFK, Jr. eats organic oats and looks on from his stall.
Before Biden scratched late and was put out to pasture, RFK wanted in the race. Race organizers refused.
They then entered a paint horse per the breeders. She identifies as a black horse now.
This is Walz and Vance’s first run in such a high-stakes race. Will Walz hit a wall? Will Vance properly dance on Turmp’s cue?
They reach the far turn. News breaks that Trump’s ear may have been grazed by the race starter’s shot. “Some of the doctors said it was the most blood they have ever seen.” Is this why he seems confused ever since Harris entered?
Who has the most horse left when they come down the stretch? Trump says “Some say that I was the best president ever. Actually, many say that. Most.” Some say he sounds like a one-trick pony. Most say.
What can Harris be, unburdened by what has been? Will she need a Venn diagram to get her to the finish line? Ed the Talking Horse has given more interviews thus far, but savvy thoroughbred watchers think they’ll sound similar. “After all who doesn’t like a yellow school bus?” What?
As they turn for home Trump rallies, and the crowd real and imagined, roars. Harris zooms forward and the crowd, real and AI-generated, roars.
ABC has a debate set up for us to see the finish. Had. FOX wants one.
It could be a photo finish if the cameras in Arizona and Georgia don’t break.
That would assume that the election will be fair.
Balanced? Neigh.
Comment section
Engage. Enrage. Enjoy.
Wow, what a way to spend the afternoon. At the Fairgrounds, amongst the clarinet playing and the trumpets blaring. Except this race day is not a better paradise. No, not at all. You see what you see. Field glasses fixated on the leaders, saddle towels with colors and numbers flapping in the breeze.
And then it comes…..it’s Harris taking the lead by a half length. Do my eyes deceive me? I see the one horse in red, Orange Man, clearly maintaining control. He’s on the inside and kicking mud all over the rest. The announcer roars that Walz This Way is closing fast. Can Harris hold on? Doubtful, Walz is too good for the mare. And what comes next is anyone’s guess. Meanwhile Orange Man has a sizable advantage but doesn’t get a call.
Betters will collect in the end. Jockeys are in on the fix but nobody told the boy on Orange Man as the script falls apart and the Stallion dances to the winners circle.
That’s quite the race at the oldest track in America that also has the country’s longest stretch run. Riders up! It’s a ways from here to there.
Walz this Way-strong.
Orange Man-stronger.
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