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The 2024 Crystal Ball(part deux)
As we stated yesterday, 2023 is all but out of the door.
Make room, below are the fearless predictions for the back half of 2024.
If you missed them, the 2024 first-half pearls of wisdom are here.
July
Eagle Pass, TX officially renames its city “Pass Through.” Whoopi Goldberg, the first openly black female ever named Whoopi to be the WH Press Secretary, assures reporters that the border is under control. Palestinian protesters block the runner with the Summer Olympics 2024 torch on the Avenue Champs-Elysees. At the All-Star break, the Atlanta Braves sport the best record in baseball at 61-31. Gavin Newsome selects Pete Buttigieg as his VP nominee. China invades Taiwan.
August
A refreshed and tan Joe Biden, back from a ten-day sun-baked vacation to Epstein Island, commends Newsom on his choice. 
“I think Pete will make a fine Nice Residential running mate. Also, his husband will be a great second in a row First Gentleman.” Heisman winner Jayden Daniels reports to training camp for the Arizona Cardinals. The 2024 Democratic National Convention opens with fireworks inside Chicago’s United Center and gunfire outside during mostly peaceful protests by Palestinian supporters, BLM, Antifa, LGBTQ+, and women’s reproductive rights groups.
September
Kim Kardashian gives birth to North by Northwest Mulvaney. Aaron Rodgers leads the New York Jets to a 4-0 record in September. Presidential Debate number one is a circus as Donald Trump claims amongst other things that he has better hair and whiter teeth than Gavin Newsom. Antarctica opts out of the Continents Seven. Al Gore reminds us that he predicted way back in 1987 that the polar ice cap would break off. Burger King seeks bankruptcy protection.
October
The State of California indites Donald Trump claiming his real estate company is at fault for the San Andreas Fault. Former Cali AG and now VP Kamala Harris weighs in, “While premature to predict, the case has precedence and is prescient, additionally and in addition the gag order precludes the former President from preamble and pontification.” The Seattle Mariners shock the baseball world winning the World Series in seven over the Los Angeles Dodgers. Lebron James announces his retirement effective at the end of the 2024-25 season and will start a Dr Seuss book club.
November
Moderna receives the first vaccine approval to eradicate gas stove emissions. Donald J. Trump becomes the 47th POTUS. Ukraine grants Crimea to Russia the next morning. Russia ceases fire. 
Hillary Rodham Clinton emails all of the mainstream media that the election was rigged and rife with Russian collusion. The Dow Jones crosses 40,000. The illegal immigrants crossing the southern border slow to a Biden-like walk pace. Moderna recommends two boosters per year to halt rare breakthrough gas emissions. Florida St misses the 12-team NCAA football playoff by one vote finishing 13th.
December
With Joe and Jill on a month-long vacation, Hunter begins filming the adult movie version of Home Alone tentatively titled Snow Day in the White House. Trump warns Hamas of what’s coming, “It’s going to be very painful, very painful, that I can tell you.” Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau undergoes gender reassignment surgery and now identifies as a man. Jardiance is named the worst TV commercial ever. The bamboo steamer finishes runner-up. From St Lucia Joe Biden wishes everyone a “Merry Easter.”
If you’d like to see how our 2023 second-half predictions did, they are here.
We hope you enjoyed BBR in 23. More to come in 24!
Comment section
Engage. Enrage. Enjoy.
Wow, nailed it. Not surprising to hear that Whoopi will be taking on another role. A role that she changed her name for. Nothing like taking on a Jewish name to build Hollywood street cred. After all she was a Caryn. And we all know what Caryn’s or Karen’s do….bitch all the time. Oh my goodness, the name change didn’t matter!
And on your last point, Joe and Jill will be renamed as Jack and Jill. And he will and has fell down and broke his crown. The details really wont matter. Will they?
If Whoopi, Joy Behar, and one of our staff writers were the lone survivors on earth of a nuclear blast they would no longer need to worry about women’s reproductive rights.
Biden has jacked up the country so badly that the name seems quite apropos.
Is The Raptor looking for a part time gig at the Boom Boom Newsroom team of trusted and independent writers? asking for a friend.
Some outstanding predictions for 2024, I will keep Boom Boom Honest and do our Year end recap December of 2024 {if he takes a collect call} ….
Raptors collectively are the hypercarnivorous bird species that actively hunt and feed on other vertebrates. They are not to be taken lightly.
Like a honey badger they take what they want when they want it.
The job is his(or hers) for the taking and the salary is commensurate with the wisdom and experience level of running a global reach website such as BBR.
Caller ID allows for your collect call, but few others pass the gate keeper.
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