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The $99,000 Question

Many, many moons (Bang!  Zoom!) ago Ralph Kramden had a chance to win big, big bucks as a contestant on the $99,000 Answer Game Show.  He chose music as his category of expertise.

He convinced his buddy Ed Norton to quit his job working in the NY sewer system to help him prepare in the week prior.  Norton, as Ralph called him, was an accomplished pianist.  In the Bensonhurst apartment, he played song after song, and Ralph would know the name, the singer, and the year of everyone.

But, prior to each song, Norton would play a little bar or two of a jingle, then get to the actual song.  Norton described the need like a pitcher warming up in the bullpen.  This angered Ralph so. But, it was a small price to pay for very cheap labor.

A week passed and it was time for the big show.  The bus driver strode onto the stage with a wide girth and a wide grin, confident that he was going all of the way to the top ($99,000 in a geometric progressing fashion).

The MC asked for the first song from his show band.  And, wouldn’t you know it, it was the Norton warm-up jingle.  “Humanah, humanah,” Ralph muttered.  He also broke out into an immediate sweat.  He had no clue.  He had heard it two hundred times in the last seven days, but.

The buzzer sounded and ended Ralph’s run to fame and fortune before it started.  “Swanee River,” said the MC.  “That’s Swanee River,” Ralph stammered.

So too went the President Joe Biden national address yesterday.

He told us that the international travel testing window he instituted gave us a look at what the virus would do in the foreign lands before it got here.  He then told us that Omicron came upon us so fast that no one would have predicted that.  Odd.  “That’s Omicron,” he muttered.

Humanah, humanah!

Unlike Ralph, he said we are prepared though.  While you’ve been shopping his team has been stockpiling hospital gowns, masks, ventilators, and the like. No reporter asked if that would stop or slow the spread.

“And get vaccinated, NOW!  And get your booster, NOW!,” he urged in between coughs of his own.  No reporter asked if either would help in short order given 73% of all new cases are Omicron in the US, and the totals are doubling every three days, NOW.

Also, note, that the Director of NIL Immunization publicly stated yesterday, as Biden was lecturing, that he thought vaccines should be administered every three months from here on out.

The day before, the good Doctor Anthony Fauci said publicly that we will very likely NEVER be able to ride in an airplane again without a mask.  This was a day or two after American Airlines and Delta questioned if masks on planes were any deterrent.

He’s sending relief to hard-hit areas where testing lines are long with more tests, in-home tests, and more testers.  He sounded testy telling us that.  No reporter asked if by the time our government got to those currently higher infected areas if the virus would already be ramping up elsewhere.  “Skate to where the puck is going,” Dr. Wayne Gretzky once brilliantly stated.

“You can still work, but even if vaxxed, wear a mask inside,” he implored us.  Norton wore a mask in the sewer for his job.  It was definitely needed.  No one asked why we have never defined what a good mask is from, say, a thong.  No one asked if any studies showed the effectiveness of masking.

You can still enjoy the holidays if vaxxed and boosted said Jolly St. Joe.  You’re in for a dark winter of death if you’re unvaccinated said Joe Grinch.  No one asked why the vaxxed are getting and spreading the virus.

What about deploying the floating hospital ships, the USNS Mercy, and the USNS Comfort?  He didn’t offer and no one asked.  Hopefully, he didn’t go executive order rogue and is trying to send them unannounced to Colorado and Nevada.  Drydocks both.

What about therapeutics? He offered nothing and no one asked.

Schools can and should stay open.  We can test every day if we need to starting in mid-January.  Surely the virus won’t replicate much in three weeks.  Surely the band won’t play Swanee River.

Luckily, vaxxed or not, Norton got his job back in the sewer.  Ralph went back to driving his bus.  Normalcy at last.

But here is the $99,000 question.

What is lunacy?

The answer?  Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.

That’s Swanee River?

To the moon Alice, to the moon.  Has the virus reached there?

 

 

 

Comment section

Engage. Enrage. Enjoy.

  • So a quick correction on your commentary. The question about mask mandates on planes to the congressional committee came from SW Airlines CEO Gary Kelly. The others just chimed in. The irony here is that Gary was diagnosed with Covid 19 three days later. It seems he didn’t understand that all that recycled air along with his sarcastic on board flight crew can be more dangerous than his feeble brain realized.

    Mr. Kelly is not a scientist at all. In fact he’s an accountant by education. Something a spreadsheet can handle. He showed a lack of leadership in his testimony and stirred up quite a hornets nest with the unions that his employees belong to.

    Southwest Airlines has had a history of dynamic leadership but Gary isn’t one of them. They aren’t doing anything to build competency just milk the routes and take the coin. The number of cancellations they’ve suffered this year are staggering and lack of investment over the last 3 years is to blame.

    But Joe Biden is struggling like a blind man without a stick. Good thing he’s got a new guide dog in training. It cant come too soon. Commander is his name and here’s to a name!

    • SWA lead the battle, but AA and Delta more recently followed having gotten cover from SWA we think.
      Virus gonna virus. Biden gonna Biden.
      Jimmy Carter wasn’t this bad according to Rasmussen polls taken just after the Iranian desert fiasco.
      New lows. And the floor is still south of here.

      • So here we are. The rank amateurs running these airlines and their mouths in front of congress are now facing mass cancelations of flights announced within the last 24hrs. AP reports they are now up to more than 2000 flights being cancelled for Covid related reasons. Just on Christmas Eve!

        So what’s the moral of the moral if the story here? Don’t open your mouth publicly to make an announcement that may be popular to some and amount to a free marketing pitch to the public. Especially given the nature of what we don’t know and cant learn fast enough. It would seem that real leadership might involve doing everything in your power to protect the health and safety of your employees. Then maybe the shareholders?

        But once again, when the going gets tough, we as taxpayers will be bailing their arses out when they can’t pay the rising insurance costs and refunds to ticketed passengers.

        • SWA doesn’t have first class. With the folks they have in change, soon they might not have any class.

    • True. So true.
      Or Nyquil cause this one seems like it’s not much more than a head cold.