Above the fold

No Respect Even Way Back When

Last week we lightened it up a bit on Friday.  The audience was howling in the aisles.  We offered a few examples of how tough life would have been for Rodney Dangerfield to have lived through these times.

Are you kidding?  It was tough to be Rodney during “normal times.”  A dozen examples of how tough it was to get respect way back when are below.

  1.  I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
  2.  I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
  3.  I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
  4.  My uncle’s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
  5. This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
  6. My wife isn’t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, “Did you see the guy that did it?” She said, “No, but I got the license plate.”
  7. A girl phoned me and said, “Come on over. There’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!
  8. If it weren’t for pick-pocketers, I’d have no sex life at all.
  9. I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
  10. I went to see my doctor.  I told him once, “Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up. What’s wrong with me? He said, “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”
  11. What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
  12. I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

    Unless it’s the NFL Draft turn off the TV.