boomboomsroom

As Thursday, February 21st faded into the evening like week-old roses, who knew what was in store for the dead of winter Friday, February 22nd?  After all, on Wall St. what is known as the triple witching hour had already come and gone Friday a week prior.  But, the world of business, sports, and life came together and had a triple witching hour all of its own.

Prior to the market’s open Kraft Heinz Corporation came clean about being dirty and bad.  Kraft Heinz shocked investors Thursday when it posted a gigantic loss due to the write down of its Kraft and Oscar Mayer brands, slashed its dividend and disclosed an SEC probe into its accounting.  Krafty accounting some say.  Oh, and perhaps it forgot its most important mission-make tasty products that people actually want to buy and eat.  Analyst’s note that increasingly food shoppers are headed to the healthier aisles including fresh, not processed, foods.  This financial behemoth could have invested more wisely.

But, the Kraft Heinz revelation disgrace paled in comparison to the revelation that Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, had a warrant issued for his arrest for being dirty and bad too.  Kraft’s name appeared on a list of “John’s” not “Robert’s” that were in trouble for solicitation of prostitution in a Jupiter, FL massage parlor. The Orchid’s of Asia Spa has a menu of services.  You can pay by the half or by the hour.  Apparently the financial transaction and the physical action is all caught on a police surveillance tape.  Krafty cops some say.  This financial behemoth could have invested more wisely.

Kraft becomes the first NFL owner to have six Super Bowl rings and one prostitution ring.  It’s a dubious record that likely no one will ever break, nor will ever want to break.  Perhaps Kraft, like Kraft Heinz, should have made healthier choices.

What is it about the Patriots and getting caught on tape?  And, what is it about Jupiter, Florida, sports figures, and tawdry sex tales?  Tiger Woods had a bit of trouble in this town a few years back.  Town crier, ESPN “NFL Insider Expert,” Adam Schefter tweeted out that his sources state that Mr. Kraft isn’t the only big name that will be exposed (sorry) in this ongoing investigation.  Salacious.

Five years ago Warren Buffet’s company bought Heinz.  Then Heinz bought Kraft.  Buffet rarely swings and misses so, especially with such a great brand name(s).

Roger Goodell is the commish over a great brand name too.  It’s the NFL.  Like it or not, he might have to take a swing on behalf of the league at Robert Kraft.

Kraft Heinz told Wall St. yesterday that they were guilty.  Robert Kraft proclaimed his complete innocence yesterday through his legal team.

We’ll watch too closely like we do all train wrecks.

More Kraft Macaroni and Cheese please.